LINK The Humanist Dilemma: Is It Kosher to Pretend Food Is Kosher? - TheHumanist.com
FTA: Whatever you do, be honest. You promised to keep a kosher home, and until you raise the idea of amending that agreement, you are honor-bound to fulfill it. A word to the wise: be careful about making “until death do us part” promises you may not be able to live with.
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my guy doesn't require me to keep a kosher home but he won't eat pork. he'll eat shellfish, which is just as tref as pork, and he'll happily eat a cheeseburger, but he won't eat pork. that's his thing, and yes, it's because we're jewish (i was never observant and am an atheist at any rate). i could easily slip him pork. he wouldn't know the difference. i sometimes serve him sausage... made of chicken or turkey. i save the pork ones for myself. but i could fool him. he'd never know. he has no clue what pork tastes like compared to other meats, and he also has alzheimer's. i could save myself a lot of trouble and even some money, since pork is so cheap, fooling him. so why don't i do it? because i love him and he loves me and i require honesty from him and it would be hypocritical to do so without giving him honesty in return. simple. it doesn't matter that he is selective about his kashruth. it doesn't matter that he's relatively ignorant about his own religion. what matters is we owe each other honesty, and it should come naturally to us because we love and respect each other.
g
genessa
Level 8
Jan 23, 2019
3
I very much respect your apparent integrity and forthrightness.
It so happens that we fairly recently spent four years taking care of my father with his Alzheimer's and even though we are atheists who don't eat meat, we never tried to modify his diet or religion.
I can only wish you luck -- keep the good things.
@RichCC thanks. we're working on it. we play our version of trivial pursuit almost daily (we don't use the board -- the cats just knock around the pieces; he reads the questions and i try to give the right answers, and when he wants to guess, or actually knows and remembers, then he does). we go to adult daycare (i go because he won't go without me). i make him watch movies and documentaries i think he'll find interesting and enjoy, and he actually does start to remember stuff after some repetitions (he knows what year marilyn monroe died, and he didn't used to!) it will defeat us in the end but we're trying to have a meaningful life meanwhile. i am sorry about your dad and glad he had you to take care of him.
g
We had it about as easy as we could hope for. All my brothers live in AZ so we could get support when we really needed. We stayed with him at his house until the end. And his biggest problem wasn't memory (at least 'til the very end) -- it was paranoia. He never did really learn to trust my wife. (She was amazing through her ordeal in it.)
Thank you for your thoughts though.
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