Count me in the group which says it's possible to have a very satisfying sexual experience WITHOUT an erection! There are so many ways to satisfy a lover...orally, manually, etc. If he's interested...you could show him some of them! If he's not interested...find someone else.

Edited to add that I was in a happily sexual relationship with a man for several years who had to have his prostate removed at a really young age. He had great orgasms, but no erections. We managed very well. It's all in the motivation and the creativity you want o bring to the issue. GOOD LUCK!

There are men who have ED but are still extremely satisfied to know they can pleasure a woman in some way. Relationships should not be about only sex. The thing I've found is when a man loves a woman and wants her attention, he will work very hard to please her. When she realizes he is doing that for her - she is able to do turn the tables, and soon ED no longer becomes the formidable physical obstacle that both originally thought it was. I am not making this up. It's just hard to find that man - but they are out there.

I am surprised that more men are not concerned about the side effects that can possibly be dangerous...including bursting blood vessels in the penis as well as in the brain (stroke) and heart...it is not anything in BIG print...for many men, being able to have a hard on is more important than possibly dyng...it also increases high blood pressure, hence the flush and hot feeling...

Look up purple penis...it is a real issue...

The alternative is oral sex for the woman with the use of toys...the foreplay for men can be fun, but finishing might not be an option...this is a man and woman issue, not just men...people need to discuss it openly to solve it happily...

Toys, mouth, fingers and empathy.

When I am with somebody, their pleasure comes first. Pleasing a woman orally is less stressful than worrying if the equipment works.

Some experience here, and varied:

• Pill-head, mid-thirties, couldn't get it up--blamed "circulation." Shitty kisser and asshole anyway. Didn't last long.

• Congenital aneurism of the aorta, repaired with Dacron, and necessitating life-long blood pressure meds--didn't need to get it up, with the mouth on him. That was fun, but we weren't a match.

• Early fifties: time for little blue helpers--usually, but not always--well-rounded, skilled, sensitive, and thoughtful, just needs a little help. No complaints.

ED is not necessarily a deal-breaker for me. Prohibitive shame and embarrassment around it is far more likely to be a deal breaker for me.

First of all, I get the viagra guy. I mean, you get 4 hours, over 2-3 days. I would at least try for every minute of it, too! More seriously, as a nurse who works in the field, we use the term "chubby but not useful" and there are far more options for treating ED than just oral meds. Encourage your ED men to seek these out until they find one that is effective for them, and fulfilling for you, if you aren't shunning them altogether at this point. Communication is always key, but a little understanding and creativity can go a long way as well.

I can't help but think most men would love giving oral pleasure, or finding any number of other enjoyable stimulation. Could I over simplify this and suggest men of kindness, unselfish and generous spirit.

I can get to the place that I need to be but without some sort of stimulation, things start to go south. I am dating a lady who is out of a 51 year marriage who is very "excited" about wanting to catch up to what she has been missing all these years. I really, really want to make her happy and have gotten my first prescription of blue pills. I told her though, that there are other ways (touching and oral) that no matter how old, I will always be able to do. I hope through whatever happens, I make her happy and that she feels good afterwards.

My last experience was similar to your second description. His long time wife had died almost a year prior - and I was the first one he was with since. Aside from being what I call a "radio knob" lover - turn these two, and tickle the lower switch before you get a program ... He will be remembered for being the worst lover I've ever had. He tried the viagra route - and even that was a failure. I tried to be patient and encouraging - but still no. He was healthy and fit - but he is also a super Christian - with the guilt trip - it was all in his head. Frustrating as all get out ! It's a tough situation for both involved. At this point, I'd rather be with a woman, than a drugged,struggling male. And no more Christians - uh-uh !

I've never had that experience with a guy, but honestly I can say if a man was more concerned about that than what would give me pleasure, that that could be a stumbling block in our relationship. I'd be very sympathetic, but reassure him that he doesn't have to prove his physical prowess to me, that there are plenty of ways we could enjoy intimacy together. I would want him to be comfortable for himself more than proving something for me, so of course I would want him to get help to feel good about his body and what he could do, but I would love him regardless and wouldn't think any less of him because of failure to perform. If he cares about my pleasure regardless, that's just amazing.

I don't normally discuss intimate personal topics publicly. I can't sit this one out though. I assure you some guys are more than willing to satisfy a woman without penetration. I will admit though that my intent in doing so was almost always to get to intercourse, but there were times when I did so because I enjoy it.

Don't think all men are inconsiderate pricks because of past experiences with selfish jerks.

I have to agree with you (at least with the men I have had the displeasure of being in bed with).

At my age, I kind of expect men to have some kind of issue with ED. As long as I know ahead of time, I'm okay with it. It's when the men have it and somehow make it as if it's your fault he can't get it up, is where I have a problem with it. Also, if you have ED, learn how to please a woman with something other than your penis.

Actually just learn how to please a woman whether or not you have ED. It's not always all about you. By the way, overstimulation is just as bad as understimulation. If I say that's enough, trust me it is. I do NOT need to be rubbed raw just for your masculinity.

That is pretty rude on their part, but i agree on whats been said below, male orgasms are easy, it's our job to get you as many as possible before we even start.

My pleasure is not an issue and is easy to obtain. My goal in any sexual encounter is to please. Maybe I'm just weird.

Saw this today & it reminded me of your hilarious post:

I believe ED in nearly all cases (not all, but nearly all) is a function of poor health. Obesity and overweight are visible signs, high blood pressure, diabetes, metabolic syndrome and so on. Eat a non-inflammatory diet, keep the weight in check, exercise, don't abuse substances and most will be fine. Sadly this is ever-fewer Americans.

I used to know someone who can get away with no bleep but he was a freaking unicorn.
There are other ways, but they have to be willing to set their ego aside and have enough of a personality, imagination, to get inside your head, and MEAN it.

I don't about ED specifically, I'm young enough to not have had that problem, but then I don't think this post is really about ED.

Sometimes things don't work the way they're supposed to in the bedroom. No one has a flawless streak. Sometimes, no matter how badly you want it, even with younger parts, it isn't going to cooperate.

As a man, you come to believe this is some super shameful thing when it literally happens to everyone. Use the excuse to practice the alphabet on your SO and come back stronger next time.

Until my wife and I had our health issues - sex was quite frequent and it was great. My wife had surgery that reduced her interest in the issue. Soon after, I went through my thing and while we both remember the days of old - there are more important things. Snuggling on the couch watching a movie, having a music night and watching videos of our grandchildren have turned into far more important and substantive times spent together than the sex. I'll admit that I miss it and I'm sure she does too - but the common interests not related to that have turned out to be more meaningful.

Women get all weird and uptight when it comes to ED meds.
It’s a penis and sometimes it doesn’t work how it’s supposed to.
That’s it.
No secrets no mysteries.
Sometimes it just don’t work and any man that says different is a liar or isn’t old enough yet.

You can’t talk to most women about it for a variety of reasons.

Your problem isn’t men with ED. You just picked poorly, like most of us that are single still.

Thankfully I am still able to perform without the need of aids or medicines... My number 1 goal is to please my lover to her satisfaction.

My last partner has ED. He definitely made sure I was never unsatisfied. They might be unicorns, but those guys do exist.

The wife thanks me every day for my sacrifice . Cialis can give me a bit of indigestion. Small nuisance.