Trying to get back with my ex didn't work for me...

No

Sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees. I would step back, give it time, and rethink the whole thing. I always ask myself "Is this what I want for my future?" Write down the pros and cons, it never lies.

I have done this it doesnt work! but at least you learn!

I made that mistake and it cost me dearly. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. You are a beautiful woman with an obviously good head on her shoulders as being a member of this community shows. Good luck out there...

Only one woman in my life I went back after breaking up ...we broke up for about 6-9 months... I don't remember well... but we ended up getting married for 19 plus years and having 3 wonderful kids... she was never my friend not before, not during, not after. Your call to make and yours alone.

People only change on a temporary basis.

Eventually people fall into familiar patterns. The ones that they are comfortable with or that make them feel good. As such it’s rare for people to make fundamental changes in their lives without complete change in the things that drive them.

All I can say is that I would be highly suspicious, though that is not a view I encourage others to have. Trust your own judgement and weigh things up based on the evidence you perceive.

This scenario almost never works out and I don't think having your kids around controlling, manipulative people won't likely be helpful or teach them healthy relationship skills, nor will it be healthy for you...and that is all besides your ad. What steps has he taken to change? Has he proved this in actions? Trust your gut and stay strong mama!!

Nope, cheaters rely upon faux forgiveness and faux love. ....my 2 daughters are healthy women because of negative re-enforcement not becoming like their moms ....I doubt they would have become the smart kind powerful women if I modeled being a doormat for their moms cruelty

Yours or someone else's? Personally I would go with the latter.

It sounds like you don't have much choice honestly. Do what you have to do to survive and make the best of it.

Hades, No!

Remember, you split up for a reason. I tried with 2 different ex's, fail and fail.

No.

Well that just depends on the situation, I guess. I’ve known some people to get back with their ex and the second time around, they’ve made it work when the couple was willing to fix what was broken. But for the most part, people just tend to move on.

When my sons started the whole dating thing, I told the the following:

Relationships are like a gallon of milk. If you pour a glass & its sour, you don't put it back in the fridge & think "that will be better 3 months from now". They are an Ex for a reason.

I think that you know the answer. For some people, some circumstances, it could be okay. It’s clear that it’s not just getting back with the ex. There’s much more going on here.

Being alone is not easy but to go back to a toxic family and a guy who cheated on you so you won't be alone and you still love him WILL NOT make you happy and you will still be alone. NOW if he came to your home and left his I might re-think getting back together.
I took my ex back and we did another 8 years of the dance and then he left me. ONLY to come back and plead he'd changed and I am the only one for him. I had told him 15 years early, I will do my best and I am tolerant but when I close the door it stays closed. So second time around I had closed the door and got thru my sorrow and when he came round I told the door is closed and then he threatened to shoot me. lol yeah, really.
I sometimes wish I had ended it at seven years and not done the next 8 but there were many good things in the last 8.
Think and reason this out and the best thing would be to stay away from all toxic family members.

From what you are saying, it was fine when it was just the two of you, but when you add family, either side, is when it gets crappy. Is there any way you can stay away from either set of "in-laws"? Or is he really, REALLY close with his family? If he spends most of his free time with his family, and you describe them as controlling and manipulative, can you really see yourself being in that situation every day? No one can really answer your question for you, but you seriously need to think things through before making the move. If you are just looking to keep from being lonely, try going out to community events, or mommy and me meetings, and make new friends. You don't have to go back to "what you know", when you're too afraid to go out to "what you haven't experienced yet".

No! Listen to the red flags, they signal the truth.

You broke up for a reason, right? I can see if you split up for work or school etc. Getting back together might not be a bad thing though.

You already know the answer to this. Follow your gut instincts. And ask yourself if you're willing to allow all that disfunction into your life and the life of your child.

The gut thing
It is seldom wrong.

Nope. People don't change.
But women with a high level of male traits are often like men, in their tendency to "fall in love," cling to one person, be co-dependent, forgive anything, make excuses, etc, putting themselves constantly at risk from their lack of boundaries. That's how men act with their girlfriends.

But typical cis women, who are heavy in female traits, don't put up with nonsense in men. They are the "choosers"..looking for the best match; one that gives them the most advantages. If the man messes up, he will likely come home to find his stuff on the lawn, the locks of their house changed, and she will move on without a backward glance..

Nope. Did it once. Big mistake. Thought we'd both learned some things, but he was still Mr. Alpha Male who always had to be right. I was directing a play and he was perfect for one of the leads. However, when we started rehearsing he treated me with such disrespect, it was painful and infuriating. If an actor in a play he was directing had done half of the things he did, he would have gone off on them and kicked them out of the cast.