I totally agree, but I have another take. My Mother was a Nurse, an administrator for a number of years. I asked her about abortion once and her take was different. This is a representation of what she said. There are many who live on farms and care for animals. All these people have seen births of animals that do not make it. They do not make it because of deformations, physical and mental. If one has the knowledge that a human is going to be born with some deformity that will be a real hardship on the Mother, the Family or Society as a whole, one may want to do something that will make this problem go away. There is no fault in this as it is a hard decision that the woman should be able to make. It is beyond the understanding of many that ending a process can be seen as nothing but a bad thing. One cannot make another walk in their shoes and we have to allow for the freedom of people to make decisions which they will have to face for the rest of their lives. I have had close friends have to go through this process and I feel for them, much to understand that cannot be done without having the problem yourself. That said Abortion should be legal no matter what I think, I am a man and ultimately my being should not influence the question.

Amen sister!

Fuck any religious terrorist who would force any woman to stay pregnant and repeal rapist visitation rights in 8 states

I truly believe that giving birth is a choice that must be made with the mother's consent and vote. No one else has the right to even comment unless they were specifically asked. Parenting is one of those truly individual and natural things that no other person or rule of law has any rights to interfere.

I found out the hard way that the pill does not work for me, and gave two children up for adoption because I do not believe in abortion (Both times the doctor blamed me and not the pill. I have used another form of birth control since then).

The first pregnancy was in a different city from where I grew up so no one knew I was pregnant. The second pregnancy was in my home town. I can't tell you how many of my "friends" told me that I should keep the child and go on welfare "like the blacks do"

groans

I already was raising one child by myself and could not even fathom raising another one alone. Thinking long term, I could not see myself ever getting out of poverty and elected adoption.

Fast forward to now...... I have talked to both my children online and met one in person before she was killed in a car accident. At this moment I have a good relationship with my grand-daughter and am hoping to meet her soon.

To have kids or not to have kids is a very personal decision that the government has no business getting in the middle of. I do feel that there should be some type of parenting class required of all high school students because I believe most young people have no idea of what they are getting into. The just see the cute cuddly child who smiles all the time and ignore the crying colicky kid from hell that they might have instead. When you're a parent you can't just say I've had enough and turn the kid off.

So extraordinary well stated! Thank you!

It was only a couple weeks ago that I realised that I may have had a chemically induced abortion after I was raped a decade ago. The police took me to the emergency room, where they did the rape kit (probably still waiting to be processed in some lab somewhere), and gave me emergency contraception. I had a heavier than normal period after that, but whether that was due to the medication or not, I don't know. I hadn't thought about it in years, and certainly never lost any sleep over it. Where I live, WV, is one of the states that grants rapists visitation rights over children born of rape, and that would have been far worse than having an abortion.

The most important thing is that YOU had a CHOICE and you made that choice for yourself.

Ideally, I agree, no one "should", but it seems the majority do procreate without forethought, planning, understanding, financial means, stable homes, or even long term partners !

That "be fruitful and multiply" line is taken way too literally.

I despise the term pro-life. They don't give a damn about children or mothers, for that matter. All they care about is the lies they've been told about late term abortion and women who use abortion as another form of birth control.

I have two wonderful children, but it was a choice that their mother and I had happily made. One of my kids is a girl. She is 9 right now, but I will absolutely oppose for the rest of my life any attempt to force her or any other woman to give birth. Time we stop letting our fantasies about the afterlife dictate our policies.

Excellent post. I don't have kids. Many ladies thinking about motherhood should read your words.

This time last year, my exgf and I were caring for my cousin's newborn baby girl. She was born at the end of January. In withdrawl and addicted to methadone she was.. taxing to say the least. But, it wasn't her fault. My cousin had her two boys taken from her and placed with her sister the previous year. She was in no way capable of raising them. Let alone, a newborn on top of it! But, that doesn't make her unworthy. She fought hard to get her life back to sustainable. This past Month she was reunited with all three. She is a testament to the indomitable will of us humans. When given opportunity and motivation to overcome odds. We can choose to triumph.

It was ultimately the undoing of my nearly 8 year relationship. But, I don't regret it one bit. Both my exgf and I have children of our own, non together. And they are much older. Going back to caring for a newborn was something we never wanted. Hell, I made it medically impossible for me to have more. But, we decided it was best for both of them.

Do i think that my cousin should have kept her pregnancy? No, but once a child is born there is no other choice. We MUST care for them in all ways. My choosing not to have more was an easy decision. I know what I am capable of. There was no way I could provide for my family and add to it. That was proven in my fostering of that beautiful little copper top, blue eyed girl. I miss her everyday. And I don't waste time and energy judging my cousin for her choice.

You're right. Women do bare the brunt of responsibility for our children, and it's sad. But, some of us guys recognize that, and do what we can. We're just more quiet and humble about it.

All pro-life advocates should realize that to choose a pro0life stance for their own lives is find' but when they attempt to force all people to act in accordance with their beliefs they are acting in a totalitarian manner that, in itself, is reprehensible.

When I say no one should be forced to parent,I mean men or women. In an ideal world women would automatically have the support they need to raise their children and men would not be forced into parenthood either.

Plenty of men choose not to parent their child, though they find themselves responsible for child support. Let's be real here though.

Men have the option to pay and forget about the rest. Men are not putting their lives and health on the line just to bring a pregnancy to term. Men are not penalized at work for having a family.

Call people what they are - pro-birth, not pro-life. I am a staunch supporter of a woman's right to choose, but I consider myself very much pro-life. That's because I advocate for policies that support children and parents throughout life, not just during pregnancy.

I couldn't personally have an abortion. The first time I was pregnant, it was a huge shock - I'd be told that I was infertile - but I never once considered termination. I was married (and there was only the one candidate for fatherhood), I had good health insurance, we had a stable home, and he was excited about being a father.

The other five times I got pregnant, I desperately wanted a baby and was again in a good, stable relationship and so on. Unfortunately, I miscarried all five times.

I would never presume to dictate another woman's choices. It's incredibly arrogant for anyone to try doing that. Until I see the pro-birthers adopting all the children who are already here and in foster care, I will continue to view them with derision.

You are so right about all, that you report in your narrative. Actually, it seemed depressing to read! Ofcourse, this from a view at the advanced end, after the children are all grown up. This may be the reason that youth don't come with wisdom, first! There would be very few people, if they knew the full story!

I agree fully. One pregnancy, one child but I seriously considered alternatives 38 years ago when I realized I was pregnant. Finally decided to go through with it even though I had lost confidence that my ex would be either helpful or even present. As it turned out I did raise my child alone and it was not easy. No one should have the decision on whether to continue a pregnancy made FOR THEM! It is a matter that belongs solely between a woman and her doctor and IF the man is part of the picture it is possible the woman will seek his input.
On a related subject, if those "pro-life" people, the same ones who have NO concern for children going hungry in America or being shot to death or people who are homeless, etc., are REALLY concerned about abortions taking place, then they should be lobbying for ACCESS TO AFFORDABLE (FREE) BIRTH CONTROL TO EVERY WOMAN WHO WANTS/NEEDS IT!
If you want fewer abortions, it is a statistical FACT that when women are given access to birth control the rate of abortion GOES DOWN!
You have to be a really special kind of stupid to think that women will "just be too lazy/irresponsible/careless to use birth control because they can always get an abortion".
OH, RIGHT because taking a pill (having an IUD, etc.) is soooo much more inconvenient than an abortion! (a medical procedure which, if you just learn what it entails for the woman, you would know it IS NOT the birth control method of choice)