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This is why teaching children about hell is a form of abuse

To give you a little background --- the mother had recently become an atheist. She attended Christian schools (and church) throughout her childhood. On Wednesdays and Sundays, she's had to work so her son attended church with family members.

In this video, the mother had picked up her son after church. Christian, the boy's name, goes almost every Sunday and Wednesday and he has done so since birth. Everyone in the mother's family, including Christian's father and grandparents are very religious.

The mother is laughing at times in the video but it's a nervous laugh. She didn't realize her son would have this reaction so she was caught off guard. Clearly, her son was distraught -- fearing his mother was going to hell. He also experienced death anxiety. Later, she realized her reactions exacerbated the situation and reached out to the online community of unbelievers to advise her on the best ways to answer her son's questions.

If you were Christian's parent, how would you have informed him that you had become an unbeliever, or would you, given the family dynamics and environment (very religious community)?

VictoriaNotes 9 Feb 25
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21 comments

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14

I hate religions. I dream to spit in the faces of all these scam artist mega preachers, who make a living while they’re living in their mega homes with this b.s.

I hate no religion as long as they treat me like I want to be treated. but when they start pushing I push back, I always win nobody or anybody will never change me. stick to your guns don't let them bother you. just take up for yourself and let them believe what they want. Try not to have try not to have Hate in try not to have hate it only drags you down

that goes for all salespeople, I was married to one, now she's back with the church

Exactly! This guy scam thousand's of dollar from Houston folks weekly!

@jrkelly you have a point. I just get so ugh about religion.

13

Religion is far and away above any child's cognitive development. They should never be exposed to the topic until much later in their lives. It's like expecting a child to be responsible with a cell phone. To a child it's a toy. Would you give your 8 year old child a brand new car?? Then why would you give him a Bible or a cell phone at that age? Makes no sense whatsoever...

Exactly! That bible is filled with all kinds of violent, stupid shit! That’s why I burned mine.

@TheMiddleWay Interesting how Dr. Elkind offers no citations for the claims being made nor is there any mention of the 'observations' having been peer reviewed.

Religion is like heroin. ...what sane parent shoots up a child with brain insane injections NOR AMPUTATES 4 square inches of prepuce penis flesh ?

@TheMiddleWay I'm on a discussion forum and not in a so called professional journal. No citations required on my part. Without that, his/her claims have zero academic merit.

7

IMO it's criminal to program children with religion, but child abuse is OK with theists because the main justification for religion is the programing of children because it relies on the suspension of disbelief. Children believe everything making programing very easy. The family is programing the boy with horror stories to drive a wedge between mother and son, probably attempting to bring her back to the Church, right? The solution would seem to be to take the boy out of the Church and spend time explaining religion to him herself, but that's not possible in her situation. If she has to leave him there, she should refuse to talk about Religion with him, until he is older, explaining he has more to learn than just what the Church is telling him, but before he can learn that, he has to learn this. One thing at a time. Making a child suffer cognitive dissonance at that age is child abuse, right? Keep him calm and realize where he is developmentally.

jeffy Level 7 Feb 25, 2018

Most of these parents had it done to them. Most probably think it is normal and good.

let the child be of age and let him decide what religion he wants if any he has his own brain. isn't that what controls your whole body. I was raised religious 20 years ago I woke up people with their head down in a book needs to realize to look up and see reality. we would have never found dinosaur bones if our heads was stuck in a book

7

That IS SCARY...
First thing he wouldnt be going anywhere with those relatives a anymore for sure.

6

repulsive.

5

Despite no longer being religious I still have plenty of scars and problems to show for my indoctrination. Not being guaranteed an absolute purpose in life still bothers me even though I know its not worth the time.

That’s why you make purpose to your life. That’s what makes life all that more precious. Sorry! Didn’t mean to sound so wack! Lol

Austin does anybody have a purpose in life, do we supposed to have. I think we're supposed to enjoy life cuz we're here I don't think I'm supposed to have a purpose in life. I take it one day at a time just because we don't have a religion, enjoy things little things in life I enjoy shooting guns enjoy collecting knives and swords, love my dog. I don't know if you work or not but find you a job that you like. I'm a carpenter and I love doing what I do not everything I do, but most of it just love life man. don't let religion drag you down. I did not exist before I was born, I will no longer exist after I die that is my belief so I try to enjoy it while I'm here

4

I informed my kids of my views from day one, full stop. My wife was a believer, and informed them as such. We allowed them to form their own opinions. Incidentally, they're both grown men, and atheists.

that's what I say everyone has a right to believe what they want to believe. I judge no other religion

4

This question cannot apply to me my 2 daughters are 2nd generation Atheists taught critical thinking science and ethics all the while condemnations of believing anti-science and so called morality of alleged gawds

I am a gnostic and skeptic but I will tell you this. I believe science over a damn book any day

4

I don't think she expected that reaction from him, and he's still pretty young. I believe a slower more gradual approach might have been better.

Yeah I agree let him be a little older to think for himself. Let him search what he wants to believe, it will come later teach him all the religions and none religion also. let him decide because he will grow up to be a man. let him enjoy being a child

3

His little brain already corroded by ignorance.

Amen to that sister amen amen amen LOL you are correct though

3

What a painful dilemma! Of, course, take that child away from that situation immediately. How do you get through to a young mind that has been so intensely indoctrinated? Perhaps, talk about love. That he was born through love. That he is loved. That we all are loved. Since love is the binding element in all our lives, how could any God create a hell. And maybe try to find a place, a group, that will counteract this authority of the church. I have witnessed families attending Buddhist (Japanese Buddhism) where beautiful things are taught concerning behavior, interpersonal relationships, building strength of character. These teachings are not "religious." Perhaps, the strength of it being a community would counteract the force of the church.

3

Imagine telling a child there is no Santa? This is even worse. Unfortunately, this is how many parents get their children hooked and don't even realize they are doing it and would think it abuse to teach them to question. I tried to bring up my daughter as a Catholic but, as I had not experienced all the unpleasantness when I was brought up, I did not see this side and did not push religion on her. It was a sort of low keyed proselytizing. However, it can be there and I/we non-theists now realize it. My daughter is still Christian but I wonder how she deals with the "hell" part? Knowing me and my late partner and her attitude toward us it might be a conundrum. She is open to my situation but I have to tread slowly.

I am curious what church he went to? Will this increase the mother's vigilance? Will this affect the mother's relationship with her Christian family? My late partners daughter-in-law is especially evangelical and they have 3 kids. I strongly suspect it was this issue that put a wall between them (one sided from the daughter-in-law).

3

Only works if you're Catholic, but...

[tinyurl.com]

2

That is one of the saddest things I have ever seen. It is especially sad that the mother laughs about it. smh

2

Just tell him the truth, that God is a fictional character just like Santa. The only difference is that some people don't grow out of believing in God like they do with Santa.

1

Quite simply, the notion of hell is ludicrous. But the original design and intention was to use fear to force people into the flocks of sheep-like believers. But even if one believes in God as the Father, then it becomes a small step for mankind to ask any caring father what his children would have to do that would make him pour gasoline on them and set fire with a match. There is absolutely NOTHING my kids could do that would generate that result. And if one believes that God is perfect, then could I be better than God. Using religion's own teachings proves that hell is a lie and is intended to be abusive.

1

My best friend got told by our primary school teacher that she'll go to hell because she wasn't christened. Her mother promptly walked down to the school and told them exactly what she thought about it. When a religion makes you damn children there's something wrong!

1

It is not abuse. The boy must be parroting what he heard. Mom is trying to reason with him, but he is in a brat mood and being really disrespectful. I wonder what church did his relatives take him too. My daughter went to church with me sometimes. I told her what I believed and told her she could search for what made sense to her. She is a Christian. She liked singing the choir and had good advise from a Father at a Catholic Church. When she was four a bible school bus picked up kids. I thought "how nice", they come to the door for our to pick up the kids. I was knocked out when I looked at her coloring book from the church and it was a picture of a couple lying in bed and it said, "If a man and woman lie together they are sinning and will go to hell." Well, that was the last she saw of that church.

1

I totally agree with you. Accepted bullcrap does not make it true. Free enterprise makes it legal to screw us. It's written that we get a right to choose our on poison. As a parent you can only lead and guide. A group of ladies came to my house and screwed up my first wife so bad that she cried all night thinking i was going to hell while she was going to heaven. I came home from work all worn out from welding all day. The holy rollers strikes again. Her mom had a lot to do with this... I rebelled so badly untill i gave in for the sake of the children... hmmm... I wish i would of had some sort of therapy...

0

that's what I'm trying to say it is a cult it brainwashes you

0

I wonder if the relatives behaved toward Christian as he is behaving in this video. I suspect that he learned that behavior from the other family members.

I don't know

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