I'm just too cussed to give up I guess. I should have a long time ago, just in terms of my pragmatic situation, my values, my outcomes.

Also I have promises to keep. I have a wife, a daughter, two stepchildren, four grandchildren, colleagues, clients. I feel useful and responsible. There are things I look forward to, and I guess that exceeds the 500 pound gorillas in the room, the stuff I prefer not to think about / remember, etc.

If my health took a sharp left turn for the worse or I had more major losses I might revisit that equation but for now it holds up.

I never stop learning. Lifelong learning can lead to long life. Every day can be new and tomorrow it can change again.