Yeah it's just one of the logical loopholes in evangelical dogma that you could drive a very large truck through and not scuff up the edges.

Ultimately the true purpose of such notions is just to keep people in line. If your family truly believes you will burn in hell and they will be seen as having allowed this apostasy on their watch, they will pressure you in every possible way to conform and stay within the flock. Because on some level they understand they'd have to live with that failure for eternity, and it would detract from the perfect picture of an eternity of happiness in heaven. It's just another fulcrum of control, and more about their peace of mind than about your well-being, when you really unpack it.

I remember being told that those in heaven won't remember those in Hell. Sounds pretty zombiefied.