"Get it yourself"
I feel glad I wrote journals about daughter Claire, from pregnancy to age five. A funny excerpt:
"Around age 3-1/2, you got so demanding that I sympathized with my friend Amy when she said at two, her son was so difficult, "If gypsies had come by, I would have sold him cheap."
In desperation, your dad and I turned to parenting books. Late at night, exhausted, we laid side-by-side on the bed, searching book indexes for "whining," "obnoxious," "arguing," "manipulative," and of course, "demanding."
The best we could find was "tantrums," but that implied an outburst with an end. Your behavior was like Chinese torture: ceaseless pushing like a steady drip-drip-drip that wears out a rock.
Mealtimes were the worst. First you demanded to be fed NOW, so we kept the peace by filling your plate first. You were well into your meal before we sat down. The minute I sat down, the demands began:
"More water."
"More peas."
"I want THAT."
Like a fool, I'd stand up to get you seconds before taking my first bite. By the time I sat down again, my food was ice cold.
Finally, we'd had enough. We decided not to do anything for you that you could do by yourself.
"I'm not your slave," Daddy told you.
"I'm not your maid," I said.
One day, Cheryl was having lunch with us when you asked for more water.
"Get it yourself!" Terry and I chimed.
"If I didn't know what you two were doing, that would sound really terrible," Cheryl said and laughed.
Eventually you mellowed, as children do when passing through a phase.
7
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When my oldest daughter was about 3 years old, I took her with me into s store in the small town in which we lived.She saw something that she decided she really wanted, and demanded that I buy it for her.I told her, "No. We don't have the money (which was true)." She promptly threw herself on the floor of the store, screaming at the top of her lungs and kicking. When she did, I walked out of the store to a spot where I could see her, but where she could not see me.
After a few minutes of the tantrum, she got up and saw that I was not there. She absolutely panicked. thinking that I had left her.She quit crying and ran around looking for me. After a short time to give her a taste of possible consequences, I stepped out to there she could see me. That was the last time she ever even attempted to throw a tantrum with me.
wordywalt
Level 9
Mar 18, 2019
1
When Claire started crying, we picked her up and hustled out of the restaurant or store. We refused to inflict our screaming child on other people.
It's not only kids that learn but parents as well. I am the oldest of 7 and I had to deal with so many uncertainties from my parents. The younger siblings had it a lot easier.
As a parent I had it easy. Our daughter would fall asleep at an early hour and not budge for the whole night. This was her sop (standard operating procedure) for most of her young age. When she did wake she would entertain herself until we were up. She still has a big sense of independence.
JackPedigo
Level 9
Mar 18, 2019
1
Lucky you!
@LiterateHiker I know. Unfortunately, she was not so lucky when her mother had an affair and ran off with the guy and took her with them (Bakersfield - ugh). Her mother was bi-polar and the step dad was alcoholic. She said she lived the Cinderella life before meeting prince charming - which she never did).
Occasionally the phase becomes permanent. I've seen it happen. And that possibility is what keeps every parent up at night, because nature has a nasty way of trumping even the best nurture.
Thanks for sharing, though. In general, it is still true that for any given thing X, "this too shall pass".
mordant
Level 8
Mar 18, 2019
1
An enjoyable read.
ElusiveMoby
Level 7
Mar 18, 2019
1
Thank you. After reading the journal last night, I fell asleep laughing.
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