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My 12-yo daughter revealed to me yesterday that she’s gay. Should I...

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Jesusluvsu 6 Mar 2
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68 comments (26 - 50)

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3

Try not to make it about you.

@BettyColeman

Betty, you went off on @mrtvsmith -- and called him an idiot --
for no reason.

When @mrtvsmith said "Try not to make it about you" he was answering the ORIGINAL POST.

He was talking to Hugh. He was not replying to any of your comments.

I am sorry I misunderstood. Guess I am a bit sensitive being a newbie. I am non violent and dislike negativity. Sometimes, I fear that lately I am a bit too negative. I will have to discern just what is causing the reaction. I am sorry for causing any hurt.

You are correct. I was replying to the original post and not replying to anyone. I figured it was simply a mistake. Having never made one myself it’s interesting seeing one up close! Carry on.

3

U know it’s all the rage. Especially when it seems boys like to beat up girls. It never stops. We women just want to
B happy.

What is "all the rage?"

3

That is one brave girl! Kudos to her.

Edit: personally, I wouldn't make a big deal about it. I would have just said: "ok, cool."

Me too.

2

My son is gay and I couldn't be happier that he's acting out his life being who he really is, not somebody else's expectations of who he should be.

2

Throw popcorn at her an yell "boooo." Then tell her to change the channel because she's boring you with something that's not a big deal cuz you still love her.

2

Maybe you'll accept whomever she likes if who she likes, treats her well? She's always worth being treated with love and kindness in any relationship.

2

I actually had a similar discussion with my children, and I told them there is nothing that would ever make me love them any less than I ever did. I don' t care who they love, who ever they love I will love too, because they love them. I will be their rock and their protector, I will be their champion, their Mama bear, and I will lay down my life protecting them.

EXACTLY

2

I'm sorry but this is an irritating question. She's a god damned human being with a heart and mind the same as everyone else's. If she was born with a different sexuality gene (or whatever biological explanation there is for it) it should mean absolutely nothing in terms of how she's treated. ESPECIALLY from an atheist who values equality over any social or religious stigmas. I know (assume) this was a bait poll but still. If you were serious, you should be ashamed of yourself. Peace.

@Hugh. You need to post your shitty jokes to some other group of people. This is a community of love without sarcasm.

@Hugh I got it but it still triggered the emotional response, and it lacked so much depth it was stupid. Hope you didn't think that was clever satire. Be a dick somewhere else.

@Hugh Again, I see your same condescending response to another person.

Has it occurred to you yet that far more people HERE find this offensive than funny?

If that HAS occurred to you, are you capable of any other reaction besides hostility and name-calling?

2

A 12 year old's brain does not have the developed maturity to make such a permanent declaration about her sexual orientation. I emphasise sexual cuz no 12 year old should need to. Just let her experiment.

At 12 years old, I had a pretty good idea of my sexuality. It was the homophobia that I experienced in my teens that led to the confusion and me trying to be straight. Particularly an all boys boarding school, where the worst thing you could be was 'queer.'

I think we all know that kids as young as 12 are 'experimenting' these days. It's a reality of modern society. My son's just turning 13. We talk quite frankly about sex (when he wants to) but I'm encouraging him to keep it in his pants until he's at least a couple of years older.

The legal age of consent in the UK is 16. Historically, for sex between two males, it was 21, and then 18 for a while (even the law has a blind spot for lesbianism.)

While some people find a sexuality and stick with it, it can be fluid throughout life. I think that's one valuable lesson that you can teach a child: that they don't have to 'pick a team' and stick to that decision for life.

2

Conversion Therapy with strict instructions on how to start an uprising.

2

Giving you the benefit of the doubt that you are kidding here and pointing out that there is really only one “right” way to handle this. Congrats on being a safe place for your pre-teen to land!

2

She needs love and acceptance.

2

I think the catholic church could perform an exorcism, but the priests prefer the little boys.

2

Every 12 year old needs to be supported by their parents. She is the same daughter that she has always been. If it happened to be something that she has misinterpreted, that will work it's way out, too! A close friend told me that he knew very early that he was gay and even his childhood friends told him later in life, that they knew he was gay, too! He was accepted and never experienced shunning as some gay children, have had to experience. If this news is a bit of a shock, It should be ok, for everyone to make an adjustment, too.

2

In a world where we are judged on everything, loving her for exactly who she is, should be the only choice. Listen to her, love her and let her know that you support her. Every child needs that no matter what.

TimP Level 3 Mar 2, 2018
2

You have to be kidding, and your question is so contribed. There is only one choice for the sane, caring person.

2

You forgot the option: say "ah ok"
This is about as much of a dramatic moment as your 12-yo daughter revealing to you that she is hetero. Or a human being.

2

The last one ;P

2

Nothing short of an exorcism.* She's the devil's now anyway. You'll need an old priest and a young priest. 😉

*(If there's any doubt that I'm joking, I am joking. go her!)

2

Good on her and you should feel honoured that she felt able to tell you

1

Please think through with her all the consequences of locking herself into that decision . Is an intermediate step (Bisexual) possible. Are you to trying to expalin the feelings she has for the same sex? If not start a new post. Keeping things fuid whilst honestly accepting everything that can happen will get you through this.

1

Best friends could feel this way while puberty takes years. ...be patient and don't show any bias

1

Show nothing but love and support as she will need it for what may come her way growing up! I wish my coming out was just as easy as your daughter’s

1

It's good that she can come out at that early age. I knew I was "different," but in Riverton, Wyoming, in a fundamentalist household, being different was dangerous. It scared me. When I finally realized what was happening, I did everything in my power to hide it, but fairy dust gets everywhere. I was almost killed, people threw bottles at my head, I had to run from a lot of places... these are experiences I hope your daughter never has.

1

That is the only humane and loving response. We all have our own chemistry and genetic makeup. She did not choose to be gay ( who would?, its a difficult life) but I sure hope you continue to love her exactly as much as before her announcement. She's gonna need you on her side. Be her champion always.

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