I don't, but have managed to attract women into my life who do. And they mostly cope by not attaching, and are often approach-avoidant to any real intimacy.

Whatever healing is possible requires letting go of fantasies of normalcy in dysfunctional relationships, and desensitizing yourself to fear of intimacy by repeated exposure to healthy forms of it. Easier said than done, unfortunately.

My family had a rough time years ago, my father had a bad car accident just before I was born, my mother has descriobed that I was put outside so my crying wouldn't upset him, then my sister was born after another smash, my father was in a different town far away, and my mother was in the hospital with my sister and won't tell me where I was. So never bonded with my parents and was out of home before I could finish school, not by choice. So huge issues there. I get seriously down when a relationship ends. My family has totally distanced me, I was not permitted to sit with family at the funerals of my father and grandmother, was not permitted to go with the family to teh cemetary. I am not permitted to know any details of my familys situation, even my youngest brother who I largely raised is sworn to secrecy. I see him often but he will not discuss family matters.

I've thought that I had "abandonment issues", which sprang from my birth mother giving me away for adoption, at birth. Pretty scary for a newborn. But, what are the "issues"? I know when I feel abandoned...it's usually when someone I've become intimate with, leaves me behind, or doesn't value my presence as much as I think he or she should. I always imagine the worst scenario, which blows out whatever was going on before the incident of me feeling abandoned. Sometimes I do the abandoning, feeling that I need to maintain my independence, or individuality. I see the hurt it causes. I've seen myself use "abandonment issues" as an excuse for bad behavior for which I don't want to take personal responsibility. Now I use the term very lightly and with humor. I think we all have the issue to one degree or another. We all need unconditional love, and that's not always easy to find, or even to give sometimes...even to one's self.

My biological father abandoned me not once but twice. I never realized it gave me abandonment issues until about last year. I can still remember being 8 years old, waiting at the door for him to pick me up with my little pink suitcase. After 6 hours with no word I quietly went to my room and unpacked, realizing he would never come. 10 years later he sent a letter from prison (he had been incarcerated after being found guilty of raping his other daughter whom he didn't abandon for years) saying he was sorry and that he's a bad father because of his father and blah blah. Just continuing to never take responsibility. I came to realize that everyone leaves me eventually. And I sought therapy and that's when I realized it all came from that moment when he never came. I spent my entire life feeling like 'no one wants me, not even my own father'.

A cat appeared in my backyard , one day . I later learned she'd had a litter on my side porch . About 6 weeks later , she was murdered , and I became the sole caregiver . I kept two of the kittens , and eventually gave the others away . That was about 5 years ago . The male , of the two I kept , still has abandoment issues . If I'm working in the yard , he posts watch at whatever window is closest to where I'm working . My daughter told me , when I leave the house , he cries until I return . He always curls up on my lap to sleep at night . He frequently rubs up against me , and tries to be in which ever room I go to , except when I want him to vacate a room , in which case he revolts . Not exactly something we can discuss . When I let him out at night , he has no problem touring the neighborhood , until he decides it's time to come back . When I need to leave , I leave . I make sure they're set up before I go anywhere . If I'm going to be gone more than a day , I arrange to have someone else take care of feeding , water , and litter box . I can't , "fix ," his problem . All I can do , is see that he's properly cared for .

Yes. An inner child class helped me years ago. No one can control me. I search for someone who respects my free spirit and independence.

Absolutely. It's why I stayed away from relationships for a very long time; every experience I've had has ended in someone just leaving. I'm going through this now with someone I met a few months ago and I'm starting to get to know better. Even though things are going good so far and I've never felt this good about a potential relationship before, I'm so afraid he's not going to stick around.

My mom died when I was 14. My dad was remote and then remarried 6 months later. Yes, I have some abandonment issues.