Actually, what I said is overly religious people don't like my views not that I really judge them for having beliefs. But Its no difference to say I don't want to date a christian than to say I don't want to date someone who smokes. Both are lifestyles, time/money commitments, etc. I don't think anything I said makes me narrow minded at all.

@Jhb1981 yes, it's a lifestyle choice. If a man hates kids, it makes sense to not give a chance to a woman if she 100% loves kids and absolutely wants to have kids.

But what about your case? I am asking you... what is the reason why you would 100% not give a chance to a woman simply because of her religion?

Or to ask differently... what if you met the perfect soul-mate in every single way possible... EXCEPT one small thing... she is religious. Would you not give her a chance?

Maybe I misunderstood your post, please correct me if I worded it wrong.

Hey there, I can see the point you're trying to make, but I think I actually have to humbly, and respectfully, disagree a bit with this sentiment. Not wanting to date someone who may be narrow minded, as you put it, doesn't mean that you yourself are thus narrow minded--it means you know who you are, you know what your personal threshold is, and you have a preference that respects and is attuned to your own sense of happiness and fulfillment. I also think that, reading between the lines of Jhb1981's post, categorizing him as narrow minded in this instance would be an inaccurate assessment; he was open-minded enough to give it a go with this girl despite their religious differences, and in so doing, he's discovered that for him, the differences may be irreconcilable with what makes him feel comfortable in a relationship.

It would be your personal preference to give the traveler a chance were she persistent, but that doesn't make you somehow more open minded than, say, someone who knows they don't enjoy traveling and has decided they don't want to potentially be the person to hold that traveler back, and knows they could never be the person at their side along for a trip.

The topic of religion when it comes to dating is a bit more intricate and complex, because it isn't simply a hobby or a preference for long walks on the beach--it encompasses your entire worldview, what you believe to be the very nature of reality, and though it can absolutely work between two people who don't see eye to eye on that, it takes a lot of trust and understanding to come to a place of full acceptance of one another, a desire not to change the other's viewpoint, and for some, this can be a hard road to travel.

In summation, I think it comes down to personal preference, and knowing that a religious worldview isn't your cup of tea and being open and honest about that at the onset doesn't make you narrow minded; it opens up greater possibilities for true connection with someone else who might be overall a better fit.

@Recordstatic thanks for the well written comment. I guess we'll have different views (regarding your first two paragraphs). For your third paragraph... no, religion doesn't encompass my world view, for me it's pretty insignificant... like a tv show or music preference. I think for some people they don't care much or think about it whereas for someone like you I assume it means quite a lot. Each person is different. If she has a different religious perspective, or music preference... it doesn't matter much to me. But if she says she is independant, hard working, spends a lot of time with family and friends and is passionate about traveling, art and thinks with her heart... that raises some red flags to me that might otherwise mean absolutely nothing to you, maybe (relative to dating I mean)... each person puts different values on things. Like you said, it comes down to personal preference.

I am 100% closed to the idea of dating someone who loves 10.000 km away. I am narrow minded about that, I can't even be bothered to waste my time. With travelers... I am 90-99% closed to the idea, depending on many other factors. But not 100%. And my experience of having a girlfriend who was super passionate about traveling is both the reason why I say 90-99% no and 1% yes.

There was an article somewhere about how a woman said she would ONLY date men who are very handsome, rich, blonde with blue eyes and then later she married someone who wasn't very handsome, blonde with blue eyes or rich and she was happy and in love. Despite the fact that she initially said 100% no to any other options and closed herself off... you get the point.

@Liviu Always happy to oblige a bit of friendly debate! I completely agree with you on the point that it comes down to personal preference, as well as with your sentiment about people putting different values on things--this is precisely part of the point I attempted to make.

When I said that religion encompasses an individual's entire worldview, I was in no way attempting to make a judgment about how important this view is, but rather, I was trying to impart simply that a person's worldview is altered completely by something like religion--there is a meaningful difference for many between believing that the earth is 2,000 years old, science is wrong, and the universe was created by a being, versus believing in evolution, the Big Bang, and that the Bible is just a book; these two opposing realities are two completely different ways of making sense of the world. I would argue that your lack of belief in an omnipotent being does, in fact, encompass your world view, but this statement doesn't actually say anything about how important it is to you, it simply makes a statement about how you see the world. I hope that makes more sense? Maybe I could have done a better job at explaining what I meant by that, but that's essentially the point I was trying to make =)

I can also see the validity of your final point about the woman who very openly stated some very narrow ideals of her perfect mate, only to turn around and find her perfect match in the exact opposite of those ideals. It's entirely possible for this to be the case, but again, it comes down to an individual's personal preference and threshold. For example, I prefer not to date someone who is vehemently religious, but for me, I've found there's a sliding scale--I've dated many who were and are religious, and with some it worked well because we both came to a place of love and full acceptance of the other, neither of us wished to change the other, and we parted ways for other reasons. With others, however, the differences in belief could not be surpassed, my lack of belief was not respected, I was viewed as a "lost soul" that needed shepherding, and became a sort of project--my views were not accepted, and they thought they could change my mind, and this is where I draw the line.

Your hard line in the sand over the distance between you and potential mate would be no different than another's hard line over religion; again, personal preference, you know what you can and cannot contend with. I don't know that I would see the point in debating you on your "narrow" preference for proximity any more than I see the point in debating Jhb1981's "narrow" preference for dating someone who is not religious--if it's preference, why bother? I don't think Jhb1981 would argue that you're wrong about whether or not two people can work with different religious views--he was simply stating for himself what he has come to prefer.

@Recordstatic to be honest you guys are from america and I'm european so I guess I just didn't come across the case where it was such a huge deal. We don't really tend to put much weight on religion here... america is different. Maybe if I lived in america I'd also have to state on my profile clearly that I'm an atheist... whereas here in europe nobody even bothers asking.

The more I read your comments, the more I think about it, the more it seems like it has to be an unfortunate issue in america... christians vs atheists. I guess us europeans don't have to draw a hard line because we don't really have to deal with condescending assholes who view us as ''lost souls''. Well, there are people like that, but I don't think it's as bad as america... the topic of religion almost is never even brought up around here.

I think if you or jhb1981 lived in europe, you wouldn't have to draw a line with religion because you would be accepted as you are.

@Liviu As I've stated, it's not so much in against them but they won't like my views. The last girl I dated was Catholic in name only. But it was important to her and she pretty much let me know I'd have to fake it with her parents. Being who I am is a big part of being who I am. I'm too good of a guy to have to fake a belief of god or Santa Claus to be accepted.