I didn't have to. My sister (against my wishes) spilled the beans and showed them an essay I wrote after my wife died. [patheos.com]

This essay was widely distributed and read. My sister said my father cried after he read it. Thanks a lot.

Anyway, here is the good part. My parents were deeply religious fundamentalist Baptists, but they totally accepted me and never criticized my decision. They were what Christians should be, humble and non-judgmental. I was dreading the worst, but it turned out OK.

I know that most people are not this fortunate, and I feel for them.

Luckily, I never had to "come out" to my parents. They could see I had a questioning mind and didn't force religion on me.

I was born into a Catholic family, but my parents must have caught on while I was still in childhood. I always had lots of questions coming home from Catechism.

Somewhere between my First Communion at 6 years old and Confirmation which should have happened when I was in 5th grade - they allowed me to stop going to Catechism, so I never was "confirmed" into Catholicism. The only kid (out of 5 siblings) who wasn't confirmed.

Also, the only one of my siblings not married in a church. Neither of my children were baptized either, though crazy as it sounds I'm the "godmother" for one of my nieces. (Pleased to say that my "god-daughter" is a smart happy little atheist married to an atheist philosophy professor!)

Hello parental figures. I am an atheist. What's for lunch?

I was raised in a uber religious family and telling them when i was 16 didnt go well. We didnt talk for twentysomething years and to this day they insist that I'm not really an atheist and are in permanent denial over who I am. Some of us can play the game and keep our mouths shut in the presence of religious family members, others cannot. Tell them or not you should be prepared for the possibility that your relationship with them will never again be a close one. I'm deeply sorry you have to struggle with this dilemma and i feel your pain. Good luck and remember you are not alone.

I told my siblings first, and then my parents one at a time ~ it was easier for me that way. I mentioned that I had been questioning what I believed for a long time, and now felt it was time to let them know I could no longer pretend to be someone I'm not just so they'd be more comfortable around me.

My sister's biggest concern was about her children; if they brought me a book to read with a bible story in it, would I refuse? I said, "No, most children's books are fairy tales and fiction. It's not my place to choose their books, it's yours."

My mom's biggest concern was whether I would come to church events. I told her I would still come to the grade school Fair & Fundraiser-type things, and weddings and funerals, but not holiday or any other services. She said "We'll see...", but it's been about 10 years now and she hasn't pushed it.

So, YAY me!

That is a personal decision. I chose to wear my atheist shirt in front of mine. My mother flipped out. I realized then she could not handle the truth about who I am. I've stayed quiet since. I don't need them to know how I feel or why.

Same way I told my church going Children "Straight Up, No Chaser". They know I am not afraid of going to a Church to see them Perform, they know I am not against Religion. They know I am not at War against god. They know I am sure I don't believe in god and yet they are not my enemies. They are my loved and beloved children.

I would only tell them if it matters. They don’t know all your inner thoughts. Unless you just feel bad for not telling them, why creat conflict that does not need to exist. If they are pressuring you to go to church or other religious activities, just make excuses to get out of it. You only have limited time with them, this could shorten the time you spend with them if they disown you.

Rhart depends solely on you and your relationship with your parents. I never directly told my parents. I just stopped going to church and talking about religion at all. They knew.

In plain English.

I just told my mom straight out. She got over it.

"Mom, dad, God is bullshit....kinda like world peace. Also, I might be gay. I'll know after tonight."

I became an atheist in the 6th grade and told no one. I had 2 and a half more years of catholic school. The way I broke it to my parents was by just mentioning some of the contradictions that I saw in religion. Later they started bringing things up that bothered them also. About a year later my dad stopped going to church. My mom told me he could no longer find truth in religion. She stopped going shortly there after.

I liked the Sexist Dad letter better

Cool. It's nice to see that level of acceptance.

1. Safety:
   if you cannot react to abuse or live by yourself and think your parents won't accept then keep quiet, smile wave and hold for some more years.

2. Scan the waters before:
   Try to introduce atheism in the conversation, find some article or news that have atheists as theme and see the reaction, even suggesting in playful way that "the way the world is, even I will became one" and see the reaction

3. Other supports
   There is always an aunt, uncle,cousin that you can open with. It is fantastic how you can get close to distant family members when you have a common "deviation"

4. When you feel high chance of acceptance or is independent enough, get a time when everything is fine, calm and ask for an important talk, with one at a time (so they do not feel the urge to show each other that they are more religious and "anti blasphemy" than they really are).

5. Profit

I saw that article today also, and was encouraged by the answer.

Do they really need to know? How do you think they would take it? Does your desire to tell them outweigh how it might affect them?

With your mouth.

If you truly want to stand by your words, then be prepared to defend them. With love and tact of course... but don't "hide it under a bushel" if you have an inkling it may help others open their eyes as well.

I told my siblings, but never had a chance or reason to spell it out for my parents. I suggest being open and honest though.

My mother is dead but I told my step father that I no longer believe in gods a year or so before he went to the nursing home. A have an ex wife who said she knew I was going to turn atheist years ago when I did bible study, Dead Sea scrolls, etc. Is bible study forbidden? My daughters still say "they believe in their own way." This is exactly what is wrong with religion today. All religion is much like Burger King. If you can't have it your way just go to another one.

"Yes, we believe that stuff the other church told you but when you die there's a 3 day waiting period before you can go to heaven."

About 10 years ago, my father stopped by and asked " So, when are you going to quit smoking, and come to church?' I said 'I don't know about smoking, but church... Never."