I have just been reminded of a situation that I had a number of years ago when very newly acquainted woman I thought proactivel​y ready to seize the day didn't and so caused me great pain because my hopes were crushed - perhaps I merely projected my desires on to her.

She profoundly​ remarked that no voluntary relationsh​ip should create emotional pain except through unexpected​ unavoidabl​e death.

I was instantly in receipt of my answer and have not had contact since. I keep her id photo and phone number in my contacts to remind me of her lesson and have changed my 3 day rule to one of half a day.

At worst my emotion should be neutral through lack of informatio​n exchange.

3 strikes , bye Felicia . It might sound cruel , but that's all I got the time and the heart for at this point of my life . Life too short and mine even shorter , hello fifty in 2 yrs . I ll be alone and happier than w any situation where I have to wait and hope and " forgive " constantly . No . Just no .

Most of the time they probably don't end as soon as they should. This is really true if you have been with someone for even three or four years, and more so the longer you are together. That has been my experience.

I was in a relationship that looked one sided from the outside. My friends and coworkers thought I was getting the short end of the stick. They would invariably ask me why I didn't leave. My response to them was that I ask myself this one question: "Is what I'm getting from the relationship worth the effort that I'm putting into it?" The day that answer is negative is the day that I will leave.

It's not about keeping score. Over time one person or the other will put more effort into the relationship. Sometimes you have to lean on your partner. Being there and supporting your partner in times when they are going through crises and can't dedicate as much effort is part of a healthy relationship. It's much more about how much satisfaction you are getting versus how much effort it takes you to get it.

When they stop being present when they are with you. Ya can't fix 'em, change 'em or work with 'em. I'm not talking about the occasional stress situation. I'm talking about your date nights or times you set aside special to be together and they are just distracted either in their own head, high or on their phone. Okay, once maybe by their 3rd time I break it off.

Study up on the "fallacy of the sunk cost". It might be in play. I don't know about you, but I had a strong tendency to have hope triumph over experience because I didn't want to let go of hope. To admit something didn't work out was conflated in my mind with it being evidence that there's no hope.

The moment you feel the need to post the question on a website.

At that point, you probably have your answer.

xoxo

I recently just had 2 dates over 2 weeks with a woman, I could tell it wasn't working out so called her and to confirm it with her. If you get going with someone who isn't your cup of tea cut them loose as soon as you know it isn't working, only you can be judge of what is or isn't working. Also the longer a relationship goes on (good or bad) the harder it is to break up.

It's a difficult situation, the only way to leave someone without affecting you would probably be when you stop feeling anything for that person, not infatuation either. And the phrase reminds me of a song by The Clash - Should I Stay or Should I Go ...

I married at 22 and divorced at 43....stayed a good 5 years longer than I should have (kids, debt, etc.). As I'm dating now, if I have doubts about things that I know aren't going to change, then I'm not staying with them. Life is too short to stay with someone who isn't completely right for you.