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6 9

Daily Schedule For Atheists

8:31 AM Cry about creationism in schools

8:45 AM Shower in blood

9:00 AM Eat a baby with orange juice and jam

9:30 AM Skype with Satan re: world domination

9:45 AM Drive to work and sing along with Ozzy

10:05 AM Scowl and hiss at all the Christians in the office as I walk to my desk.

12:30 PM Get a latte and gluten free pastry for lunch.

5:00 PM Drive home while listening to Rammstein

6:00 PM Eat another baby, preferably fricasseed with olive oil, tarragon and a touch of dill

8:00 PM Go online to contribute to organization to fight the "War on Christmas"

10:00 PM Watch a ridiculous documentary on atheism

12:00 AM Light black candles and pray to the Dark Lord

#Christians #Christmas #atheism #schools #world #pray #sing #oil
LiterateHiker 9 Mar 29
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1

Level 9

OH NO!... I've been doing it all wrong!

1

Level 9

It's cute, but I don't do those things. Sad thing is the religious fools thinks this and tells everyone these lies , so they bring more mental illness to world for there cause.

1

Level 8

I don't believe in "gluten free". I think it's just a superstition of the health food cultists. I ask for extra gluten in all my food.

I think the glue in the gluten is what holds my bones together.

1

Level 7

VERY close to what I do... With the exception of the baby. I don't like baby in any form for the same reason I don't like veal... I like a little more meat on the bones!

Now... Back to my Ozzy!

1

Level 8

Hey...how did you know? 😉

3

Level 9

Glad I found these helpful instructions.

I gleefully give the finger to Christians holding "Pray to End Abortion" signs at Planned Parenthood, as I drive by.

"You inspired me to give monthly donations to Planned Parenthood," I told them. You should have seen their faces! It was hilarious.

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