There seems like a lot of wonder about meeting people. I had hoped that I would find local friends, for mere interaction, and connection, and yet I don't know if that happens. It seems that for all in my area, nobody really tries. How would you ever be able to connect with someone at a distance?
Tony80223, I counted 20 people in your Nearby category. Have you made contact yet? Just wondering. I am not here for dating but have made lots of contact just by sending emails to people who strike my fancy. I love funny, erudite writers and/or people with interesting point of views. Strangely enough, many of them live in Australia. Wishing you luck in your search.
how do you find out who is near you?
I’ve reached out to a few of my locals. It seems like I’ve only had one person who connected with me and she is a bit far but so far.......
thanks
It's always a crap shoot, I think messaging someone you find interesting is a good start. If they respond your off to the races. LOL
For distance meetings I have suggested virtual road trips, picnics and cinema visits. See "Passions"
To dream the impossible dream does not destroy hope.
I think that you will need time, especially if you want to meet agnostic type people. They are the minority, the real minority! More and more people are showing up in my area, but I am moving. So there you go! When I get back to New Mexico, I hope to find some agnostics there. I have made some friends back in NM, but they are not agnostics, but neither are they real religious, compared to this area.
I did recently-spenttime with a fellow site member. Locally no. Still up for meeting others. Will relocate if Imeet right guy.
I am about to experiement with their groups feature and see if I can build a group in my area of people interested in just "doing stuff." Singles, couples, no matter. But would be nice to have a local social group of people smart enough to have discarded the big lie.
Since I just moved from Texas to northern New Jersey, we are completely starting over. So, hopefully I can turn this place into a tool to help out.
I would be very interested to know how this works out or doesn't, Scott.
So, I just created the group. Pretty interesting options for making it local or regional.
"NYC and Northern New Jersey Social Group" Group
Anyone in NYC or Northern NJ or otherwise close enough to that area that you would entertain coming to social events, you are invited (begged) to join.
Now, do I spam all the member who are geographically close to me to make sure they see this?
I am unsure the etiquette here. Perhaps everyone within the range of the defined area will get a notice of a new group in their area. That would be cool. But I have no idea.
Best of luck!
Groups are as good as their most active members. If you get even a few people who participate they are a lot of fun.
From personal experience, it usually goes something like this:
Personally, I wish the odds were better. On the other hand, it's certainly possible to text maybe hundreds of people in a week, and can you imagine the confusion if EVERY SINGLE ONE was a "hit"? Our brains are only capable of maintaining a certain amount of active connections at a time (perhaps as few as 100 "casual" connections, and probably only 10-20 "strong" connections).
Another thing is, people are full of fear. We SAY we aren't, but let's be honest-we are vulnerable creatures, and being hurt sucks. And we protect ourselves, even at the cost of missing some things which might be GREAT. And you cannot control what other people do, so the best strategy I can offer is: master your own fear. Be who you are, and if the world does not respond, hey, it's not your fault.
@MrLizard Stalking over 20000klms doesn't sound fascinating. Bad enough when they start to do it here. That's why the block button is useful. Of course I've also encountered stalking accusers who do so because you vehemently disagree with something that they say.
You've been through it, obviously. Very good analysis.
You explained that pretty well. I think a benefit to trying to find someone on this site is the greater level of honesty found here. I could be wrong but I think thinking, reasoning individuals posting here are more honest than other 'dating' sites. Besides this site offers alot besides just trying to hook up. IMO
For phone phobics - you can ask for someone's number, then call THEM. Dial *67 first, and your number will not show up in their caller ID. However, if their phone's settings have "unknown callers blocked" - you won't be able to get through ... what a conundrum !
Strangely I feel more connected to people at a distance, in writing, there is such a fondness in me for what people write, I feel all humble,, humanity is here - when my mother and father's sister were of an age they wrote letters to each other and my mother who was manic was very tender in her writing and they had a sweet relationship, later my cousin was in her dying process and she and I wrote tenderly and there is soemthing about the slowness of the process of writing that engages my brain - I don't just fire off - I think about what I am saying.I also don't write unless I am in a good place .
There is also the beauty of a well formed letter using a fountain pen.
I've just joined this week and am already arranging to meet someone for coffee and a chat next week when I go away. I guess it depends on your personality type and ability to travel?
That's great! However it turns out, I hope you have fun!
I actually live in a little village, but will be travelling over 100 miles to a city and whilst I'm there..will be an adventure to meet someone new from the site.
I remember meeting with one of my mail order customers many years ago. She had flown in from Arizona to St. Louis to meet me. There was a science fiction convention going on that weekend.
She and I had corresponded a lot, and there were lots of hints on her part about something serious coning from the meeting.
Back then, I weighted over 100 pounds more than I do now. I told her I was overweight, but apparently she overlooked that.
We spotted each other from a distance. I could see her mouth the words "Oh...my...god..." Yeah, I made a good impression.
"Just so you know, I have a boyfriend back home" was one of the few things she said to me that weekend.
If someone local wants to meet me, I'm fine with that. I don't expect anything of it.
If it's a long distance meeting, there is a simple formula: the amount of disappointment increases exponentially as the miles in distance increase.
remember we are the few amongst many. we are conecting on here which is a good start.
At least you are in an actual city, lol. I live in a town of 10k people.
@Keyboard-Mama I'm in a boonie town North of Northern Ireland Ballycastle.
Do the traffic lights change colour every third vehicle? It saves on TV transmitters.
@Keyboard-Mama whoah ! very close to me about 12 miles off !(its a small country)
Start by talking, I have yet to find any friends on here myself, but that just takes time
Maybe try to get a group together to do an activity?
You certainly can PM people to suggest it and see if there is any interest.
Good luck!
I would rather see get-togethers form in the open forum. I believe there would be more of a likelihood for more people to see it and be willing to get their toes wet. It's scary for many people to "go" -- especially the first time. Often when people see that other people are going and are enthused, it gives them more drive or gumption to do the same.
I used to be an organizer for a Meetup group. You could take the same two events -- all logistics being very similar. The more people that jumped in and signed up, the more people that followed suit. If two or three people did not make that first move, nobody else would either. Humans are weird.
Sometimes groups take on a life of their own.