@JeffMesser

As @Bobbyzen wisely replied:

" I get those too. It’s annoying that there’s virtually no effort put into a question that requires a real response."

Intelligent men show they read my profile. They mention activities we have in common.

At the very least, they answer the pop-quiz at the end of my profile and ask if they are right. This shows they read it.

@LiterateHiker oh, my bad. you're talking about here. on this site. I thought you were just saying people in general. Like out in public. I spaced it. I'm high. My humblest apologies! I am sure that is rather annoying. If they take the time to drop a line it should at least be entertaining or stimulating. I'd SAY I feel your pain, but no one is sending me shit so that would be a lie. I hope your attention gets more interesting in the future. namaste

@LiterateHiker I do those kind of things in my messages. It makes no difference. My guess is that it's all about looks in the main profile pic and the other profile pics. Message content and profile content don't matter if you don't have the looks the other sex is seeking.

@TomMcGiverin

I am attracted to intelligent men with a great sense of humor.

An interesting profile and well-written messages matter to me.

@LiterateHiker As I have said many times before to other women on Agnostic, I don't doubt that you are less shallow and more open-minded about looks than most women on paid dating sites, but that doesn't change my experience on the paid sites or really help me any with my lack of success on them. If anything, it gives me false hope that I might have better luck in the future with those type of sites, or even this one if a bunch of new women my age joined Agnostic from my area. Which hasn't happened in the last two years and likely never will.

If I may share something personal, I had a rather depressing experience today reading a timeline post on FB from a woman I know in my area that is a fellow hipster and theater person that is a FB friend. She posted a pic of her ex-fiance at a bar meeting with another woman. (The pic was taken by another woman and my FB friend posted this to warn her friends that this man was on the prowl again for other women to deceive). This FB friend is too young for me to date by a few years and is apparently very open-minded about looks in who she has dated because the guy was bald, like me, and also very overweight and not even a handsome face. Her friends, tho, who I assume are also around her age and very nice-looking like her, all made comments about the guy being bald and overweight, etc. and several even openly said that she had been dating someone who was unworthy of her based on his looks. Their comments sure explained a lot to me about how shallow most women are about looks and why I have such little success on Match, because even tho these women are all fellow hipsters, like me and my FB friend they have in common, no wonder I can't get any hipster women my age that are like them to reply to my messages if the ones my age are just as shallow and narrow-minded about looks. I hear lots of women say that baldness is not an issue for them in who they will date, but after seeing the comments of these women on FB, it's obvious that the acceptance of baldness by most women on paid sites is qualified by the man also having six-pack abs and a very muscled body.

@LiterateHiker Of course the profile essay and well-written messages matter to you and almost every other woman, but they are clearly not enough by themselves to rate a reply or spark enough interest for most women to trade messages or meet someone in person. People are seeking more than a pen pal or a platonic friend.

@TomMcGiverin

"Character is more important that appearance," I taught my daughter.

My first husband, Tim, looked like a troll doll with flaming red, bushy hair, big chest, short legs, squinty eyes and a pug nose. Tim wore shorts all the time because he ran hot. He tended to be overweight.

My best friend at the University of Michigan, Tim was a genius- a true Renaissance man- with a tremendous sense of humor. Moving to WA State together, Tim introduced me to hiking. He became an emergency medical doctor.

We had great fun together. But Tim was bisexual and a sexual sadist. I did not know this before we got married.

"How did you two ever get together?" the judge asked, shocked, at our divorce hearing. I was dressed professionally in an elegant suit and stocking. With long, red bushy hair, Tim looked sloppy and disreputable, in worn hiking shorts and a holey T-shirt.

Tim was in medical school and worked full time as an emergency room nurse.

In graduate school, I was working full time as a YMCA program director.

I don't think you're mean at all Deb, but I understand why you might answer defensively....

@TomMcGiverin thank you. I only respond that way to friends who know me, and I smile when I say it. It's just meant as humor. Being that I'm disabled by chronic illness, I figure nobody wants the real answer to that question.

@Deb57 Makes sense.

@Debt57

Hilarious! Thanks for the laugh.

@Pralina1

Hilarious! Thanks for the laugh. counts fingers

Excellent!

@Paul4747

Perfect. Very funny!

that was great! I have read it twice can I have permission to use it?

Love it

@scout123456

You can ask @pralina1. She didn't exactly copyright her answer.

@LiterateHiker of course !!

@davknight

Too funny! "Why, do I look sick?" is a great retort.

Love how you called it "dingbat blabber-jabber."

I don't ask those to women on Match, but then again, most men are idiots on those sites. But it doesn't matter to most women if the guy has the looks.....The only time I ask a closed ? is if I suspect the woman is a country music fan (which is a dealbreaker with me), then I will ask if they like country music much. All the other dealbreaker ?s I save for after I get an initial reply from the woman. And when I ask those ?s I make it an open-ended one.

There's one already.
"I'm not a wolf, but hellooooooooooaaaw"

@Petter

Love your sense of humor! I have tears in my eyes from laughing.

@LiterateHiker Were I not on a different continent, etc. I would probably invite you to join our social circle of certifiable nutcases.

@Petter

Sounds like fun.

@LiterateHiker A load of above average intelligence old fogies is a perfect recipe for fun, especially when they are well travelled, as well as well worn.

@Deb57

Exactly.

My willingness to answer tanks with one-word replies.

@billhoo

Thanks for your compliment about my little pop-quiz.

In marketing, it's called a "trigger question." Prompts people to reply.

It works.

@scout123456

I agree with you.

p.s. It's "hope to hear from you."

@LiterateHiker thanks I do that all the time don't know why it drives me bats..then again I am bats lol

She is extremely interesting. Although I’m not “looking”, and would never consider someone thousands of miles away, as well as being a bit out of my league, I might find myself PMing her one day. I think she’s a joy to the site, and wouldn’t mind corresponding occasionally. Decent people are hard to find. Get them where you can

@billhoo

Thank you for your sweet compliment.

I love what you said, especially about being a joy. Touched, I saved your reply to cheer me up when I feel down.

@bleurowz

Me, too.

@LiterateHiker And wouldn't you know it, I have my chance today. Just got another one this morning.

I'm on Match too and I see those all the time. Those questions are retarded and only used by people too dim to write a decent ? or comment in a message. I don't want to look that dim to women, for what it's worth......

Someone actually sent me one of those once. To her credit, she admitted it's because she was really shy and has trouble starting a conversation cold.

@SeeCanU

Fitness Singles has a drop-down list of short questions. Ninety percent of men send me the same question. "I liked your profile. What do you think of mine?" Zero effort.

Me (excitedly): "Oooh, a message from Fitness Singles!"

Opens message

Him (like the last 30 men): "I liked your profile. What do you think of mine?"

Me (disappointed): "Not again."

@LiterateHiker I don't blame you for the disappointment and lack of interest when they are not willing to put any effort into their message. As I said elsewhere on this thread, even tho I now feel hopeless about online dating ever working for me, I still at least make a decent effort in my messages, even if it's only out of pride for my writing ability and my awareness that there's no point in sending the kind of messages you are getting because even if the woman reads them, they are not going to respond to that kind of message, at least with my level of looks, so why would I even bother sending a message like that?

@Bobbyzen

Thanks for confirming my feelings. It's frustrating. There's no effort put into the question.

@RoyMillar

To honor George Carlin, I'm going to start with "Not unwell."

Will report back on the response.

Thank you, @Deiter for this idea.