Is the highly valued trait of kindness and empathy only a good thing? Could it be bad?
Have you ever witnessed negative consequences associated with kindness?
Kindness doesn't happen in a vacuum. It's not just a single emotion. It should have some company. Emotional Intelligence, compassion, wisdom, caution, foresight, discretion... It is necessary that all those are in play as often as they can be. This allows us to know how and where to continue forward, or to walk away.
There's a minimal level of kindness that you must give yourself in order to thrive and continue your own life and pace. If the kindness you are giving begins to limit or tap into that minimal self-kindness, you are being too kind.
When the kindness is generated by a sense of guilt or duty, and regretted afterwards - then, yes.
i'd call that calculation, not kindness to begin with.
empathy - in its nature of enabling me to feel with the other - would surely prevent me from being kind to some bloodsucker who'd only take advantage of my kindness. doing good without the primary intent to ease someone else's hardship (instead for reasons of selfishness, reputation, co-dependance, etc.) i wouldn't call kindness. in our society egoism seems to rule, but genuine kindness can never be too much.
Not that I know about - from my psychology days some troule d children and adults have difficulty taking in positive strokes and need to have a bit of negative in teh mix - as in "thats really good for a person in your position!" Hard to judge though unles you have been working with them for quite a while.