Something or someone is only unattainable if you you believe it is.

I think that are origins are in the animal kingdom, and animals are always seeking something in order to survive. If a lion was content, it would die of starvation because it wouldn't feel the need to hunt for food.

I've been having this conversation with a friend lately. Repeatedly. They seem to expect some sort of rom com meet cute that rapidly developes into a forever blissful marriage. I'm trying to get to the bottom of WHY they think that is realistic, to no avail.

Just saw the edit. Specifically "unattainable". That's a whole other can of emotionally charged worms.

I think that, yes, I have serious unrealistic expectations when it comes to finding a partner. I hope for honesty, attraction, monogamy, loyalty, passion.

I think people seek the unattainable because the want everything perfect and don't want to have all the hard work that goes with it. Unfortunately it almost never plays out that way and people are always let down. Now days. People would rather end a relationship rather then go through the hardships of trying this make it work and find a happy medium.

I'm sure a lot of people start with an ideal and try to find someone that meets that ideal as closely as possible. I'm not sure how unrealistic I am, though. All I want is someone I'm attracted to whose political and religious views align with mine. I just want someone who may want to go out once in a while but who also likes staying in in sweat pants. I want to cook for someone once in a while, go to concerts, comic cons, film festivals, and I don't know what else.

I probably sound like I'm filling out a personals ad, but I don't know how unrealistic that is.

Craigs List? Those are not potential lovers and mates surely? Naive me thought they were entrepreneurial persons offering earthmoving services!

Maybe I should have emphasized unattainable...meaning like a 50 year old man looks for woman in their 20s...and expects this chick to actually think of him other than an ATM...love can not be bought

I think most ogf us were taught to idalize romance an dlook for that "happily ever after" person. The truth is that relationships require honesty, goo d communication and compromise, which can be a lot of "work."

In my case I expect complete honesty, but I find that most people cannot handle the level of honesty I want. To some my expectations may seem unrealistic, but from experience, I know I would be happier beign "single" than in a relationship where I settled for less than what I want. So although my expectations may seem unrealistic in terms of a relationship to some people, it is very realistic in terms of having a happier life.

How does someone define unattainable? If one can accept a definition as it intended by the nature of it as "can not be possibly attained", than my answer will be simple: Ignorance. I believe in order to find a true answer to this question, we would have to examine reasons why someone thinks it is unattainable. I would suggest that those reasons would have commonality, but would differ from person to person.

I think it is because they are portrait this in daily life through media and advertising. That,s why people see only beautiful people who have the perfect bodies and want this as it is projected in their daily lives over and over again.

Unattainable and unrealistic in what ways? Physically, there may be something to it. As I understand it, going way back, before television or movies or even pinup girls, people just looked for a local mate and we're content with the available dating pool. But when those media started showing more glamorous people to the masses, so beautiful and sexualized, the desire for the unattainable grew. And, today, it's pretty much impossible to not be influenced by Hollywood actors, fashion models, etc. These people are brought to life before us, and they feel relatable and present in our lives, and I think there's a sense, even subconsciously, that we shouldn't have to settle for anything less.

The attainable is easy, but nothing in this life that is worth having comes easy.

Have you been reading profiles on dating sites?

I suppose it is because people have been disappointed with what they had and are looking for something that much better. Would you say looking at the couples around you that they are generally reasonably matched (or considered complimentary to each other)?

Not I, I learned long ago that perfect matches are made not found and that all humans are flawed creatures and often those flaw are what endear someone to you more than those perfections.