By not going you would give credence to their "values". However, now you're free. Do what you bloody well feel like.

You're not entering the building to worship, you're there to attend an important moment in your daughter's life. That doesn't make you a hypocrite.

Why mpt? It's just a building and if you don't believe in a creator then what it said should not bother you. I mean it's not your wedding ceremony. Right?

It's your life and decision, but my daughter had a JW wedding. I don't believe in their theology, but she does and I respect that. To me it was more important to be there for her on a very significant day in her life that was centered around her and her husband, instead of me forcing it to be centered around my beliefs. I would attend the event, after all it's just a building, and I don't see how your entrance through the door will negate or undermine your beliefs or integrity. It's not like it's being held in a Nazi themed auditorium or KKK seance. That's just my 2cents...

I cannot say you are being silly if a church building bothers you; i can only say it wouldn't bother me, and i have never been a christian, and have been an atheist for half a century. i don't know whether telling you how i feel about it will help, but i'll tell you in case it does, and hope for the best ) you are allowed to rethink your promise to yourself on this basis: a church is a building. to you it represents religion, and that is what it usually represents, but it doesn't have to threaten you. it's just a building. if there is no god, you're not walking in the shadow of a god by entering the building. to me christianity is getting worse and worse, more and more intrusive, not only into the lives of nonbelievers but into the lives of other-believers, and interfering in american politics to a disgusting extent. however, if i were in london, i would definitely visit the parish church of st. martin-in-the-fields at about 12:45 on a weekday, since that church has wonderful chamber music concerts, free for anyone who shows up before 1:05 (and the pews fill up fast). i have been to churches and synagogues (and on beaches!) to see friends and relatives get married. i wasn't injured, i didn't feel as if i was tacitly accepting the religion or the deity of the place of worship involved (i didn't turn into a mermaid on the beach either) and i hope i made my friends and relatives happy by being there. so regarding your promise, i think you were promising yourself something different from what you thought you were. you did not want to enter religious buildings -- but buildings cannot be religious. if you do not believe in a religion, then you do not believe in the sanctity of a mere building, even if it is used for religious purposes. you are therefore not being a hypocrite entering such a building for a purpose that has nothing to do with your worship of a god, and will not make you appear to worship a god. you know, and everyone else will know, that your presence isn't about that, but, rather, about witnessing the happiness of your daughter and your son-in-law. (keeping good relations with his family, without compromising yourself, is a good thing, too!)

g

Go ahead. It can be very educational. The last time I was in a church there was this huge crucifix over the alter and I realized that they are worshiping torture and death. That realization explained a lot.

I think refusing to go to a wedding in a church or a funeral in a church because you are an atheist is a misplaced concern. By refusing to go to the wedding because it is in a church also looks a bit like you are attempting to pressure your daughter to get married somewhere else. It's your daughter's wedding and it should be however she wants it. Go and enjoy it.

If you want my opinion, you're being unreasonable. You can go inside a church as an atheist and not be a hypocrite if it means supporting your loved ones. You're only a hypocrite if you go to church regularly, bow your head and pray, and then leave calling yourself an atheist.

I think you need to decide whose big day it is, and if your daughter is more important to you than some silly policy. Because in the end you refusing to share in her special day just because it's inside a building you don't like is unfair to her, and it's making her wedding about you.

Since you ask for opinions...

There's no god, so there's no significance about the building to you, right?

I've gone to funerals with religious services and gritted my teeth. I've gone to see my daughter in church plays. It's not about me... it's about other people. I can't be so hung up on myself as to let myself miss out on the lives of people I love.

You, however, should do what you feel comfortable with.

Weddings are my one exception. I would never want to miss out on such a special event. If my children marry religious people I will still attend their weddings. I will not pray while I am there.

Go to the wedding, missing this event will haunt your relationship for the rest of your life. I attended and participated in my exs neices babtism because her sister asked and its polite.

After reading the comments here from others most are saying that you are "silly" not to attend. Why? Because they think you should go since they would. However, the more people you listen to the more confused you will get and eventually be swayed one way or another into doing something that you are on the fence about. You must do what is right by you and your daughter. That's my opinion.

Dude, I’m building a fucking church. I hate it, but, well, gods don’t provide and unfortunately I need my job.

Yes very silly - I'm a dyed in the wool atheist but love devotional music and visiting churches of all faiths because I'm an atheist not a bloody philistine. Support your daughter on her day and stop being an arse.

Yes, excruciatingly so. You are making your daughter's wedding about you! What is going to happen to your precious scruples if you enter the church. They will still be dragging you along behind them when you come out, so no change their. Perhaps your daughter isn't okay with it and she loves you too much to tell you how short-sighted and introspective you are being.

What is of MORE import,
not going into a building which espouses things you do not believe
OR
being there for your daughter on her wedding day?

No you are continuously think through obstacles to Atheism. “ this above all else ... to thine own self be true. I can’t answer the question but you beg the question and yet possess the answer

If you don't go that won't be so bad either. Just think, it's like a 95% chance she will get divorced in a few years. At that time you can say I told ya so.

I agree that religious in-laws ARE A REAL PROBLEM and boycotting their fraud business buildings is NOT SILLY .....none the less be there for your daughter's wedding rehearsal dinner and reception/parties. .....we Atheists ARE NOT HYPOCRITICAL as witnesses present @ any religious ritual .....religionists ARE HYPOCRITICAL as they mumble go along and bow their heads pretending alleged deities are present & participating IN ANY WAY zero prEyers HAVE EVER BEEN ANSWERED during 8 thousand years of known religious rituals. ....after the wedding kindly and softly ask your daughter if any alleged gawds answered the church wedding ritual words? Ask your son-in-law the same question @ a convenient moment when zero other people are in eyesight or earshot. ....let it all go at that....we Atheists don't "de-convert" believers. ....if your daughter and new son or grandchildren WANT TO BE Atheists. ...they have to think critically for themselves read their bibles completely to comprehend all the lies insanity misogyny genocide and absurdities therein. ....2nd Kings 15:16 is good enough with 3 other quotes to prove alleged gawd Jehovah LOVES VIOLENT MASS ABORTIONS AND RAPE OF VIRGINS. ....be patient & let your daughter run her own house with available Atheist ammunition

no, your not being silly. I vowed never to set foot in church as long as I live. If I get married it will be outside or at a courthouse. be true to yourself.

wHY NOT? You go there to be part of your friend / relative's happiness and no to pay attention to what the priest is saying.

I attended my son's wedding in a church. There are no religious buildings it was built to house religious rituals, but that obviously doesn't imbue it with special significance. I see religious buildings as just another building full of people with weird beliefs. They're just like any other public building.

I don't attend religious services, but I am glad I was there for my son's wedding.

Its your life your choice totally I don't think youre silly and maybe theres a compromise somewhere like maybe being outside to kiss your daughter and make a fuss of her after teh ceremony , You have made your own rules you can make some more .

I don't see why not. Especially if it's family or a close friend. We have to choose our battles. I think it would be disrespectful to blow off someone's wedding because it was held at a church. That's just my opinion.

Should and Ought s are incredibly slippery articles, I go into churches withot feeling that I am betraying my principles -I tend to base myself around the idea of love, and for me going to my daughters wedding would be where I relax my principles but seriously its your call