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Looking back on the "One that got away", if you have one, what was a sign of impending failure that you naturally overlooked due to simply not wanting to give the idea of failure the time of day? Mine? I am No singer. But when I truly for someone I have a few songs I can do well and have taught myself more as needed. When I sang Can't Help Falling In Love to her and she seemed to not care in the least. Of course I ignored it. Hindsight being blah blah blah, it should've tipped me off. Anyway, thoughts?

DerekFuiten 4 Mar 15
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1

Fear of commitment, that also means committing to losing you. I've had a couple "boomerangs" in my life, one I married.
I agonized for years over my 1st real boyfriend. I was an awful girlfriend, too young, full of myself, and careless with his feelings, by the time I truly fell in love with him it was too late, he broke up with me, which I deserved. FF years and years forward found out he turned into a hardcore right winger, and was religious anyway, so I missed a bullet. Clearly he didn't understand me at all so it's just as well. I would've made a terrible "yes woman" for him.

3

Life is not a movie my freind. It is not TV either. If someone cannot bare themselves to you, even bit by precious bit so you know where they are and are thinking, they either cannot or will not let you there. There would be no failure, you never had a chance. Your feelings of love, I expect were a projection what you wished Her to be. You never knew her. Your "love" for her became an instrument on which to wound yourself. We cannot make someone love us. We can only reveal ourselves and see who "bites". Do not look to the obvious, Seek the hidden things. This is where we lay.

Beautifully said!

@Qualia I thank you. Some knowledge is painfully acquired.

0

I dated someone for a while about 20 years ago. She was very attractive and to me seemed to have her life all together. I made the mistake of feeling like I had nothing to offer a brilliant, attractive woman who seemed to have everything. She was crazy about me and wanted only my attention. Fast forward to the present, she's married with children and VERY happy, and I love that for her. Turns out, she also found Jesus, so that might not have worked anyhow.

0

I don't seem to sound conceited or arrogant, but I'm the one that got away.

2

That was so sweet. She was a fool.

1

it was long ago.. but ‘the sign’ I should have noticed was - if, after my best attempts to simply get to know her, she remained aloof … maybe it wasn’t me. Decades later, she confirmed that and we’re now close friends..

Though appearing confident, she wasn’t. And though feeling inept, I wasn’t.. She did accomplish some amazing things, though no children. I feel I’d ‘had good taste,’ but it’s likely best we didn’t connect back in the day… Sometimes it’s best everyone gets away 🙂

Varn Level 8 Mar 15, 2018

Wow that sounds like a story! Did you wind up together?

@Qualia ...in a way.. Both seemed to fall out of relationships at an inopportune time for the other. Eventually spending serious ‘alone time’ (like 2 months) together, we concluded we’re likely ‘not compatible.’ Actually, we’re too much alike … but she’s finally exited my dreams 🙂

3

My first proper girlfriend when I was 19 I left because I prefered hanging about on my bike with my mates and thought she moaned a lot. fuck do I know so differently now.

2

None of my exes got away. I got away and for safety reasons too.

Well hopefully you are more selective as to whom you choose now. Seems like you're naturally attracted to dangerous pieces of garbage.

@DerekFuiten I've been single for almost 2 years now. No more dating for me.

1

She would abandon me in Left for Dead.

@doglvr1882 yes

1

In my case, it was a childhood friend I got reconnected with. I don't know why I was humored in the first place. I guess I was just a little desperate at the time.

I wasn't thinking about how much people change. I got caught up in how much I was enamored. She's just a beautiful, kindly person. I was such a dork too XD

Long story short, I was a bundle of nerves, and she had well-established friend groups. There were people much better/more familiar than me.

Looking back, it was wrong to want anything more than a little time to reconnect. Baby steps, always

1

It's very hard when the one you love the most, been married with 10+ years, and have a beautiful child with tells you that she is gay...
This happened just 3 weeks ago...
She took my child, the dog and majority of income...

I can’t ‘like’ that.. but want you to hold on to whatever it takes to recover - fuck

Lawyer up dude.

Not homophobic by any stretch but you may be able to get Legal Aid help in this case.

That's awful. Sorry about your situation. X

Mine did that back in July only I created the separation in the hopes of prevention of infidelity (fail) and she left in the night with the kids and moved in with the first man that would let her and the kids love in. She took literally everything. The guy she moved in with was involved with a meth shooting whore until the very day she moved in. Probably still is messing with her. Shes setting the most horrific examples for our kids. Obviously her own self-worth I'd nil or close. I'm destroyed and cannot see daylight even still tbh.

4

Every relationship I had that ended, and I was heartbroken about, time showed was not a good match to begin with. I don't regret any of them, had any of them not occurred, events would not have played out in a way that led to me having the children I have.

I find that the most healthy and beautiful description of what I try to remind myself of almost daily… Yes, would we remove what’s brought us all we have? Nope ~

@Varn Thanks

1

you got off easy,
An ex of mine suggested "relationship counselling" we had not had a fight, but she moved out 3 months after moving into a unit (apartment) I had bought for us. She had a session with the counsellor, then we had a joint one, she left and it was my turn. He was telling me all looked good, she was fine and happy and we would sort things no worries.
I rang her when I got home as arranged, she was in bed with my replacement.
I was blindsided, the only woman I had ever been "in love" with, that unit took me 7 years to pay off.

Considering that that was just one example of the beginning of what I should have recognized as the end, I don't think you can really say I got off easy or not. Really I got horribly screwed over. I had my heart my soul and every part of my emotional checks and balances spit on, drug through the mud and Left 4 Dead. But I'm not here to go over how horribly miserable I am in full, I am asking a question of what was one of the signs that should have tipped you off that you're growing apart. I'm sorry that happened to you people can be really cruel to one another.

@NFAguy53 Divorce is too expensive, but I agree, I would still pay it. Hmmm also had to pay everything twice, mine wold take the money to pay the bills and bank it in her private account that I knew nothing about. And she wasn't working the cow.

1

I think the holiday in Tenerife, where he insisted on driving all the way from Leeds to Liverpool to catch a 6am flight, and pay for 2 parking spaces in the airport car park rather than 1. It would have made more sense for him to stay at mine the night before and to go in just one car.

Except that he ended the relationship 2 days after we returned, at which point it all made perfect sense. He'd obviously already ended it in his own mind some time before that, but since the holiday was paid for (and this was a Yorkshireman we were talking about) he didn't want to lose out on that. And to be fair, it probably worked out best that way. We had a good holiday, whereas I'd probably have been miserable on my own and 'recently dumped.' The only thing that irked me is that he was still behaving as though nothing was wrong, including having sex several times throughout that week.

2

Naw. I enjoyed my romantic mistakes and wouldn't change the past if given a choice. All my exes are still fans of mine, and I of most of them.

I could never be that way. I exhaust all chances of making it work. By the end, im sick of em lol

@Phyphrus I don't mean I'd go back to them now, just that I wouldn't change the past in any way

Naw, you cannot cite an example of unrequited forms of affection going unreturned as an example? I'm doubting that just based upon your answer.

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