11 Fabulous George Carlin lines:

1. The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.

2. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

3. The planet is fine. The people are fucked.

4. Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.

5. “When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?" This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!

6. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

7. How can God be perfect? Everything He ever makes dies.

8. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

9. Catholics and other Christians are against abortions and they’re against homosexuals. Well who has less abortions than homosexuals?

10. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

11. When it comes to God’s existence, I’m not an atheist and I’m not an agnostic. I’m an acrostic: the whole thing puzzles me.