They've been humiliated and do not know how to walk away or gracefully recover. They have to "strike back" to "make up for it." You've ruined their tiny world view of themselves that they are worthy and have not considered that they are not what they pretend to be.

Status. You lose face if you're rejected--unless the person rejecting you has less status than you. So if you get rejected, you can innoculate yourself against losing face by lowering the status of the rejector.

Of course, this has the effect of lowering your status--because you had the low standards to pursue a low-status individual to begin with, or the lack of discernment to fail to realize in the first place they were low-status (until they rejected you, that is), or because you are flighty and inconsistent in your status attribution.

But this only becomes apparent to those others of sufficient intelligence who are paying attention.

Online dating can be TOUGH. Women get floods of messages and many of them are from douchebags with no knowledge of social skills. Men rarely get replies and when we do, they are more often than not rejections. This, in no way, makes the kinds or responses you describe excusable in ANY setting.

Those assholes and their pervasiveness make me ashamed of my gender. The answer to why they are that way is rooted in insecurity. It is easier for the simple-minded to resort to profanity and name calling than it is to lament how you verbally damaged their precious fragile little ego, especially if they are hiding behind a keyboard.

I am sorry that anyone has to endure that kind of abuse at the hands (fingertips?) of a boor.

A gentleman who is secure in himself will answer appreciatively. Something honest, along the lines of "While I am disappointed that I am not your cup of tea, I appreciate that you took the time to reply with kindness. I wish you well, and if you change your mind, feel free to message me." On more than a few occaasions, something like that has made me a new friend, even if only a virtual one, and it just feels better.

Gentlemen? Are you listening?

Imagine if every single person you ask out rejects you. Every. Single. Person. Imagine that you've tried every single thing you can do to win someone's affection but it never works. Imagine living until you're old and gray and you still haven't found anyone. It's no excuse to lash out (and I don't when I'm rejected. I'm always nice about it personally) but the frustration is a million percent real. When you feel like folks are playing hot potato with you, like the object is to not get stuck with you, it can be humiliating and rage inducing.

I'm a writer. Rejection is just a part of life.

Well if you're ugly and fat... what da ya expect. Whuuut... you just hurt my ego !
Damn, I've been rejected more times than I can count... my favorite expression goes like this... "I couldn't get lucky in a womans prison with a handful of pardons."
Shoot, rejection is difficult to accept when your young, really at any age, especially "in affairs of the heart"... believe it or not some guys are just assholes... believe it or not some girls (ladies, women) are just... similar.
I don't ever recall being "mad"... dissapointed, embarassed, yes... feeling REJECTED, is not easily absorbed... but anger, being rude... nah, those guys are asshole.
Know somethin... it's the easiest thing in the world to be a gentleman... if we all know the rules.

The can't handle the idea that someone doesn't want them.

It’s because we have a genetic disposition to procreat the species. We believe that our sperm is the shit to do it with! Because primitive man would’ve tried it anyway possible, and that is frowned upon, he now becomes frustrated. I’m primitive times he would’ve yelled and thrown shit at you. Now he will call you names go to bed and cry. Think of it as progress! Or the truth is they are insecure and the rejection adds to it. Since he can’t blame himself it has to be someone else’s fault. But the first story is more fun.

Some men act that way some women act that way. If you spend enough time as a single male rejection is part of the game. You get used to it, you expect it. Since most women are not doing the approaching it doesn't happen as often to them. I doubt that a lot of women could handle the amount of rejection men receive. Some folks handle rejection better than others. Most men and women don't behave that way.

Not something I can explain beyond "they're entitled douchebags". As in, entitled to your attention and to consider you obligated to be attracted to them. Consider yourself lucky that they show their true nature so clearly and so early in a relationship.

It's not all men, but the kind of guy who randomly compliments a complete stranger or even a casual acquaintance on social media, is a sketchy bastard to start with.The fact that anything other than gratitude for his attention is met with contempt proves that the jackass isn't stable.

Possibly, projection. It's likely that the guys are the ones ugly and fat.

There are certainly many reasons that rejection may manifest in anger. Anger is an easier emotion to deal with as it can be directed outward whereas rejection causes internal questioning. "It isn't me it is her".
As for the expression of that rejection in profane and/or derogatory comments, which we see often in internet postings, they may be the result of the person not having the ability to express themselves in any other way and the lack of consequences for such expressions. These people seem to have a need to have the last word.
Our society has become more accepting of crass behavior, the rise of women demanding a voice and equal treatment in a male dominated and privileged society and ego issues have been discussed. And all may a part in why name calling is acceptable to those who choose to do so.
Having said that - the problem will not go away. People are what they are and each of us has to know that such behavior is not our problem - but theirs.

I've only had that happen once and I decided it was because he was a psycho. Of course there are all different degrees of anger but usually my experience has been one where the guy is only visibly disappointed but not angry.

It goes both ways.

With many men, it's a big let-down to get rejected. It makes them feel unwanted and insecure about their own masculinity. When they do what you say they do, they're doing what is known as 'sour-graping'.

Hell if I know.

Sometimes males of several species kill prospective mates who reject them. And, some spiders, including the black wodow, eat their mates. Procreating is not play; although, some apes, including people and bonobos enjoy erotic play without procreation.

Statistically, I think few people ponder ethics and philosophy. They just interact and experience and learn along the way. Some are crippled and learn bizarre things, such as religion, but bizarre doesn't stop there, it invades all aspects of life. It is difficult to live with all varieties of personality. But, we must make our way. Perhaps some future AI Freud will straighten things out, we have failed so far.

I suggest that in most cases people initially believe that the other person will be and exhibit or learn to be and exhibit the traits and characteristics that they want in their ideal partner. When they don't or refuse to conform to that ideal the rejected rarely acknowledges that is their ideal that has not been met nor that the other person is specifically rejecting an offer not the whole person.

The person the offer has been made to has their own right to be themself and pursue whatever they wish. For example if two people are wholly compatible except for the fact that one person wishes to have children and the other doesn't I suggest that you are looking at an unstoppable total disaster if the relationship continues.

So why should men become irrationally out of control? ... Stupidity, ignorance, unpunished previous bad behaviour / lack of fear of consequence, lack of empowerment in having the knowledge or learning to understand what has occurred in the rejection and in many cases an unfulfilled sexual urge creating its own madness.

It seems however that the times are changing. It was reported a few weeks ago in the local paper that two women kidnapped a 19 year old man and held him prisoner for several hours. They were both charged. Very little detail was given.

Small willies

Good question. I do not know either, sounds terrible, stupid and less grown up than a toddler.
But then the US has a president that is like that right now.
It almost looks like a lot of people would encourage or even like that kind of pathetic behaviour in men in US society.

Yeah, happens all the time, guys get all aggro if rejected and worse if their lady doesn't want to be with them any more.
On the other side of the coin, some of us get complaints from ladies as they leave us that we obviously don't care because we are not upset.
Also, very few women ever make the first move, so maybe that is part of the answer, just not sure how.

That is a question that could fill a book with answers. Maybe dating sights have a higher number of men who are asses than in the general population. Anger issues due to repeated rejection, etc. Men do face more rejection than women overall. You would think we would handle it better. But that is not the case it seems.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

I wouldn't know. The one time I was asked by a stranger and said no, he just went away.