I was married for 21 years. 19 of them I was very unhappy. I have been free for 17 years now. There is no consideration of reconciliation. In fact, I'm scarred. I see no one in my future. But I do have 3 wonderful kids. One dosnt talk to me, but she is in my heart always.

Very true. mine is for ever

Yes. That’s why I’ve been in CoDa and individual therapy for going on 32 years. It takes not only work but knowledge as well. You can’t bake that cake if you don’t know how to turn the oven on or know what an egg is.

Hmm..the worse problem is when a woman who is heavy in male traits, acts like a male and becomes besotted with her partner, allowing him to misbehave and disrespect her, making excuses for him. Normally, cis, hetero women will toss a misbehaving man's stuff onto the lawn, change the lock, and move on.

If a male-ish woman clings to a relationship, overlooking bad behavior, she is putting herself in danger.

I quit speaking to my father about 12 years ago. The last time I spoke to him, he had called and I didn’t recognize the phone number and picked up. His “hello” and first words to me in probably 5 years were, “so, did you vote for the n——er?”

People always say, “but he is your dad” and “you will regret it when he is gone”. These are always from people that have loving or at least tolerable relationships with both of their parents.

I get a long great with my mother and siblings. We all live in different parts of the country, but we always get together for holidays or other special occasions. We laugh, play games and never have any drama now that he is out of the picture.

He may be my biological father, but he is a hateful, racist, bitter excuse of a man, and life is too short to have poisonous people around you. I have come to peace with it, and have no regrets, and I am a much happier person for it.

I believe there are some types of people best left out of your life no matter the relation. It isn’t your fault the way they are, and you have no responsibility to put up with it.

Depends on what you mean as significant? My first wife was bi-polar which turned into adultry. 1 1/2 years after that I met another. We were together 12 years. She relapsed into alcoholic and it ended. Immediately another came along and we had a short distance relationship which lasted 6+ months (she wanted a committment which I was not ready to give. We had a good relationship but she found another who was willing to give her what she wanted. After 3 years I met another woman from halfway across the country. We dated for about a year before marrying. It was wildly successful for both of us until she died 1 1/2+ years ago. In all I have been single 17 years of my adult life but not all at once.

You are right. The people in a relationship must both work together to make the union successful. However, there has to be some basic commonalities and, to me, emotional stability is the most important item.

Rereading the question I see I might have gotten the answer wrong. It has been 35 years since my first wife and I have seen/communicated. In April my daughter wants us all to get together in Portland and the former wife will be there. It will be interesting to say the least.

Family squabbles. One sister I haven't seen in over a decade. She distanced herself. One brother that I run into now and then but he doesn't really communicate anymore with siblings, just our parents. I see the others on occasion and we all get along. The squabbles are mostly about holding grudges for things long past, perceived and actual uneven treatment as children, disagreements as young adults.

On the other hand, I know and get along well with all my significant ex's.

My neighbor who helps me then gossips about me to others saying bad things she drinks a lot so I told her lets makes a clean break. we will be neighbors and polite but the rest of the pretending to be friends I can live with out. so am I bad?

Had anon/off relationship for 10 years. He would move out and rent a house within commuting distance. My ex husband and daughter's father - only married 2 years - would move in with him thus I had to go to the house to pick up my daughter. I would get ambushed by my ex and we would get back together. Think it happenned 3 times in 10 years. Finally ended it 9 years ago when a girlhe had been talking to online secretly came all the way from Michigan to get him.

I haven't spoken to, or had any other contact with, my sister in over 25 years.
Her choice, not mine. It doesn't matter if I want to attempt a reconciliation or not.
Both people have to want to make it work. I have no idea why she feels the
way she does. I asked our mother numerous times, but she wouldn't tell me.
Like I have said before, blood relations mean nothing. It's not DNA that makes
"family", it's the love you share.
It's not on me to "fix" whatever is "wrong" with that relationship.
So, as far as the sentiment posted goes, I do not agree.
I'll try to fix what I can, but I'm not going to take responsibility for what anyone else does,
or doesn't do. Some relationships aren't worth 'saving'.

I've had a few relationships of various sorts that suffered from some conflict, and for me those relationships have typically languished as a result. It hasn't happened more than a few times, but once someone says or does something especially hurtful, it's difficult for me to ignore it and pretend everything is fine.

My relationships just sort of end. It's rare for me to have any contact with the other person again.

With one relationship, I had spent the day doing errands for my girlfriend. I was exhausted. I honestly felt that I was dying. And I didn't care, because if I was dying, then I wouldn't have to do any more chores for her. That ended it right at that moment. We've never spoken since.

With another woman, Jesus whispered to her to end the relationship. She told me there was no point in us talking to each other again. I haven't talked to her since.

My mum disowned me and my ex, over deciding to go to Southern Spain for Christmas. She didn't contact us and we didn't contact her for over 2 years. It was only when my ex got pregnant that we decided to get back in touch. I was quite happy with that situation, to be honest.

As per usual, my mum acted like nothing had happened. Which is the closest you'd ever get to an admission that she'd been unreasonable.