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Could you consider someone a real friend, if you've never met them in person?

Have you ever had a long-distance friendship? If so, did it last long? Can someone really be a "friend" if you've never really met them?

silvereyes 8 Mar 25
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59 comments

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2

If you and that person enhoy the dialog, if they have been helpful and loyal to you in difficult situations -- even from a distance -- then they are friends.

15

Yes, I tend to connect with minds easier than meatsuits.

skado Level 9 Mar 25, 2018
12

yes I have a friend in Germany

i have never met but we email each other

12

I've made some good friends on Agnostic without meeting them. Hope to meet them someday Did meet one last month.

11

Although it's tough not having them close I have made at least 3 friends that are too far away. We don't talk everyday but we still make sure we keep in touch

9

It's possible, although not ideal. I have made some friends on-line who I have never met in person due to the Atlantic Ocean getting in the way ?

Nomad Level 6 Mar 25, 2018
9

My late partner and I talked on the phone for two months, sometimes a couple of hours a day. She lived in Tex ass and I in Seatle and we did not meet until after 2 months. I think we both knew this was it and it was. That is why I keep harping on establishing a base first before meeting. It can make up for any "chemistry" errors.

8

I think this is absolutely possible. In our electronically connected world, we all have numerous "friends." Most of them, I think, could be classified more accurately as acquaintences, but sometimes you really connect. I have finally had some private conversations with folks here and who knows where that could lead. This site is an extremely fertile "friendship ground," I think. The common mindset helps everyone to relax and really talk to each other. I love this place (and I love your intelligent and thought-provoking posts too, BTW. Thanks!).

7

Could a pen pal back in school in the 80’s be a friend? I always sucked at replying, mostly because I didn’t give a shit, but I seem to remember people talking and corresponding to others in friendlike qualities.

7

Yup some people spend their entire lives being friends by Letter, Phone, internet or other means of communication. If people have similer interests and sometimes ocupations or troubles they always seem to find one another.

7

Absolutely. I have several online friends who I genuinely care about.

7

An internet friend, yes. If you have not met someone, you only have what you are told by that person to base anything on.

7

I had a really good friend for years whom I never met in person. We're not so close now, however. We had a misunderstanding at one point a couple of years ago and things just cooled between us. We don't confidence in each other anymore or keep in close contact. :/

@silvereyes Yeah, I've tried reconnecting, but it seems like whatever connection we had is lost.

7

Yes I have online friends that have literally saved my life. One instance no more that weeks ago. Planned to post the story soon.

6

I don't know, i suppose it's an individual thing based on definitions i.e. the difference between best friend(s), friends and mates. I'm making friends on here but it's different to lifelong friends with whom I have a shared history. Perhaps that definition is also unfair until I have an online friend of 50+ years with which to make a fair comparison.

6

For me the answer is no. I thought I could but after several (and I mean several) attempts spending lots of time writing and talking on the phone etc only to find out once we met that it didn’t work out. Now I am extremely cautious until we meet. Until you meet you only know what that person tells you. Many people are self deluded. Not trying to offend this is just my opinion/experience.

Well said!

4

I've got a few people I have met through common interest groups on Facebook and online games that I consider good friends, even though I have never met them. We share common interests, common senses of respect for each other, and witty banter.

I don't think I could ever 'fall in love' with somebody without meeting them and getting to know them in person - but friendship is a different matter.

4

Yes. I have a lot of close friends whom I can't meet in person because of distance. People don't cease to be people just because you aren't in their space.

4

Yes! I think that getting to know someone is more important than seeing them face to face, but it's always a plus to get to meet them in person.

4

I don't think I would equate the term friend if we had never met in person. Interpretations of body language, facial expressions and more, contribute to attraction. If it was a textual only relationship, context and tonal inflection help describe, if not define a conveyance.

Hutch Level 7 Mar 25, 2018
3

100% yes. I have a tiny group of people I met in an ex-christian Facebook group last year and now consider them some of my closest friends. We try to chat on video as a group at least once a week. They have been a HUGE support to me in my deconstruction and deconversion, absolutely invaluable.

3

I would like to say yes, but there is so much more to a friend than words. I suppose the definiton of the word friend might need to be defined.

3

I understand real friend to be someone whom I have actually met or known for a considerable period of time during which we have met up many times. A frienship that has stood the test of time with the trials and tribulations of life. Words are cheap and cost nothing, like whispering sweet nothings.

2

Yes. Theyve lasted many years and I have a few ongoing from 1-4 years ago. I can still talk pretty comfortably with a few from more than 10 years ago, though we havent talked in a long time and rarely do within the last few.

2

I’ve been friends with someone I met on a dating app for almost a year now. We’ve never met in person, but he’s definitely one of the few people in my life outside my obligated family who has been there for me when I needed someone to talk to. So, yeah, I could say it’s a real friendship.

Adam7 Level 4 Mar 26, 2018
2

Absolutely! One of my best friends I met online . We knew eachother from playing video games about 10 years ago, and have chatted and been friends for a long time. Finally went down to Nevada to meet in person and we had a very drunken good time. So definitely can!

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