Career before romance.

"Omg. Stop. Just stop. Stop it all. Put the twinkie down. Join a gym instead of a gang. Stop posting such stupid 'omg rAwr X3 I'm such a weeaboo nobody gets me fml Sk8trH8tr4lyfe1!1!' Please for mercies sake stop.

Your life is super cushy and your wanting to die is just simply attention seeking teen angst. Get over it.

You're an idiot, past me. Stop it.

You is smart. You is kind. You is important.
But, seriously, BUY APPLE.

Get off the piss.

Use your head, stupid. THINK!

Run

Continue to be loving, kind, generous, and above all, love yourself first.

"Get a hair cut - and cut off that stupid rat's tail!"

Nothing. I had fun making my mistakes and knowing ahead about the dangers would have kept me from having most of my adventures.

I don't do time travelling. Plus I like my 3 kids, don't want anything to change because of that. NO THANK YOU. I AM FINE.

The reason you feel like a girl is because you are a girl.

I'd tell myself not to marry my second husband. By the time I was 18 it was already too late to tell me not to marry the first one.

Girls want it more than you do, if she is acting interested she probably is.

18 huh?
Weigh the pros and cons of everything you do.
Though it has one that's not your head so don't listen to it.
If living with her is rough, marriage won't make it better.

Don't be so hard on yourself. You don't have to be perfect.

Cut your gentleman sausage of immediately and the 2 veg and seek medical help.

I second some winning lottery numbers.

Tell myself (since my school didn't take the time to sort it out) that I'm good at languages, and it's a great time to specialize in Middle Eastern and Central Asian languages.

And get myself gluten free 10 years earlier than my diagnosis of Celiac Disease, so I could at least keep a feeling of health longer.

Would I? Probably not, seems dangerous.

But if I did? Hmmm....

I could send a ton of advice on not doing this or that wrong, but I feel as though the majority of my mistakes have been good learning experiences. So maybe I would encourage a few more, at least in select areas. I always thought it would be fun to live out of a van for a while...