@MizJ

Street criminals look for women who are easy to grab and pull away. I weigh 113 lbs. Predators look for weak and vulnerable prey.

"Some of these guys concentrate on people who are easy to overcome," says Volkan Topalli, a psychologist and criminologist at Georgia State University. "They'll target females, they'll target older people, but they're also looking for cues of weakness or fear."

[psychologytoday.com]

@LiterateHiker But you are fit which tips the scales in the other direction, at least a bit

@LiterateHiker I think that weakness and fear are the more powerful factors. Being aware of one's surroundings is meaningless unless one walks down the street like they own it. I once was walking from a parking garage to my urban apartment at 1 am when a guy jumped out of a doorway. The one night I wasn't carrying pepper spray! I didn't even break stride and walked right at him; this totally confused him and he slid back into the doorway. When I rounded the corner to the main road my whole body was shaking! My quick thinking and lack of outward fear kept me safe.

@MizJ

When I was 15, my sister's best friend was abducted in daylight. Sally, 16, was riding bicycles with a friend on a main road near our house.

Suddenly a van pulled over and two men jumped out. They grabbed Sally and threw her- with her bicycle- into the van and sped off. The other girl got away.

Sally's nude, raped and beaten dead body was found in a ditch two weeks later.

@LiterateHiker Shit. How terrible.

@LiterateHiker this sent shivers down my spine. What a quick end to an innocent child's life!

The Woodman is a great film. Really a great view of the relentless urges they experience.

@gigihein

What he said chilled me to my core. It haunts me.

Ever since I developed breasts at age 15, guys have grabbed me, kissed me against my will, propositioned me and catcalled endlessly. Two male supervisors tried to rape me (an insurance agency and the Tacoma Family YMCA) when they caught me alone in the office. They both pinned me to the wall by the throat, using their strength, height and weight. When they let go with one hand to loosen their belt, I managed to break free and run.

At age 19, my daughter was violently beaten and raped in her bed at college. The rapist followed her to her room and waited until she was asleep. He locked the door and attacked her. After 10 years of counseling, Claire still wakes up screaming and has panic attacks.

Claire and four other college girls he raped took him to court. She was retraumatized by facing her rapist while testifying in each trial. The rapist was a law student. His lawyer convinced the judge not to put him on the sexual predator registry. That would prevent him from becoming a lawyer. A year later, it became a national requirement.

It infuriates me.

@LiterateHiker I cannot resist my rage to urge more Lorena Bobbits to PERMANENTLY disarm rapists of their penis weapons....if I observe a rapist in action I would keep my 300 pounds of US NAVY Veteran weight on the rapist arms and chest slicing off his entitlement gonads and make him eat his testicles.... for too many centuries patriarchy has used religion to protect and forgive rapists.....courts minimize if not acquit rapist crimes and 2 rapists are sitting on the US Sup Ct Kavanaugh and Thomas
...until justice is the law of the land Feminist Atheism remains a muted taboo too few real men will declare.....my 2 daughters are safe and happily married to men of honor and they all teach boys the truth of gender justice

@LiterateHiker
"What he said chilled me to my core. It haunts me."

This sounds like being a victim.
How can you put credence in such a person's words?

@LiterateHiker I had such experiences as young as 13 or 14. fathers of kids I babysat, husbands of my.mothers friends, and it both scared and angered me. I felt like I had a sign on my forehead that I wanted it, as that is how they acted.One day I was babysitting and while the 2 kids took a nap their dad came home. I was sitting on the couch and he sat next to me and tried to kiss me. I pushed him away but had these small scissors on my fingers because the needlepoint was one where every 3 or 4 stitches were a different color. One of the points on the scissors punctured his neck and the other scraped it. He yelled at me but I flew out the door. It was an accident on my part, as it all happened without thought, I just reacted. I was never fearful again. I trust my instincts more, as always felt uncomfortable there. because of how weird the wife and he were with the kids.I was 15.

I do lean to seeing experiences as part of who I am and more from a stance of staying away from those that have serious issues. The more palpable feelings you had would have me exit. I have to get to know people well talking and connecting before I meet them I am glad you have such visceral reactions to guide you.

@CallMeDave

Don't minimize my feelings.

Since age 15 when I developed breasts, I have been assaulted by men, grabbed, forcibly kissed against my will, sexually abused, propositioned, catcalled, had men grab my drink "to improve it," ad nauseum. Two supervisors tried to rape me at an insurance company and the Tacoma Family YMCA. One supervisor threatened to kill me if I told anyone. Thanks goodness I come from a large family of tattletales.

Yet I dress modestly, walk fast, and never go to bars. Don't wear much makeup. I don't feel safe.

At age 19, my daughter was severely beaten and raped in her bed at college. Claire was asleep when the rapist attacked her. After 10 years of counseling, Claire still wakes up screaming and has panic attacks.

Claire and I both have PTSD.

@CallMeDave

Your lack of empathy is appalling.

@MrDragon

I get many messages from men on Fitness Singles and Tinder. At age 66, being fit and slender is rare.

In America today, 90% of adult men are obese or overweight; and 60% of women.

@LiterateHiker
"In the United States, 36.5 percentTrusted Source of adults are obese. Another 32.5 percent of American adults are overweight. In all, more than two-thirds of adults in the United States are overweight or obese."
[healthline.com]

@LiterateHiker I'm a little confused, maybe I missed something, what does over weight men has to do with you attracting strange dudes? Please excuse my ignorance.

@Larry68Feminist, @Burner

I will never buy a gun. I was asked to be the local coordinator for Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America. Sadly, I said no, afraid of being shot and killed at a rally. Gun zealots are angry and armed.

Years ago, I bought pepper spray on a wrist strap. It hurt my wrist and caused a rash. The pepper spray canister dried up in my car.

@LiterateHiker stop dating. You asked for suggestions so im throwing stuff out

@Burner

With a high sex drive, my middle finger is twitching.

@LiterateHiker poor thing

@LiterateHiker shows how powerful strong and courageous you are as a lover ....so many people are scared out of their gifts to love

I don't recall him being such a cynic. But I have found his wisdom gold. I used to work with clients discharged from state psychiatric hospitals and never had a problem. My review said that I easily relate to clients and people in general, to a fault.
People do things based on their thinking and there are some who have some psychotic thinking, or can. Now many clients I work with, or worse, those they are around are dangerously mentally I'll and my close calls made me realize I have a false sense of security, because zi do easily connect with all people pretty easily. I absolutely follow my gut and have bailed from places for no reason, but my flight response kicked in.
I try to keep those with high drama for my day job, not personal life.

@gigihein in this passage Alan is explaining how "most Westerners feel"

@CallMeDave I cannot imagine feeling prey all my life. I think of everything as a dance. I can be very emotional when hurt or scared, but my analytical side brings it to a halt, if an experience is kept in my present instead of past. And I have had experiences where some would call me a victim.

Better said by Viktor Frankl, "Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.*