See, I have always thought about marriage but the fact is in my area Atheists are few.. Would you marry a theist? I can if they don't bug about going to church..
Definitely yes .Unless they are fanatical in their ideology or constantly attending a church you would be foolish if you did not consider this option .There are many more important character traits to judge a person by .
I would have trouble fully feeling deep respect for and connection with a theist at the deepest root. Each time theism would come up, be it in philosophical conversation or simply that they are attending church this week, it would cause me to feel a lack of parity with them. ...and that type of respect/parity/connection is something I'd need in order to feel confident enough to marry.
Twice I married theists, but it did not work out, and her inability to accept my beliefs, even though she promised before we married that she would, was one of the reasons we divorced, so now I look first for compatibility in common goals, values and spiritual beliefs.
Don't do it. I was too young and too weak to back out, three weeks before our scheduled wedding, when I realized the relationship was doomed. We stayed together 29 years, and raised three wonderful children, but as soon as the kids were grown, it ended. She left me to care alone for our autistic son, and my life has been bleak ever since. Two minds in different universes are never truly together.
Would you marry someone who has a different idea about anything else? Political view, traditions and society, under or top placed toilet paper, lasagna is nor is not just pasta cake?
Why treat religion as a special form of ideology that deserves a no go?
It is not about having the same vision, but about have a compatible or at least accepting each others ideology.
Or else you will end up looking for a clone of yourself with a gender swap (or the same, i am not here to judge), and you might discover you don't like yourself too much XD.
political views, traditions, society, and religions are important things that shape a person and are usually involved in a person's daily life, but things like toilet paper and lasagna are not as important as whether or not you think a baby should go to hell for example. I like to put religion, political and ideologies on the same playing field when it comes to dating/marriage/relationships, they usually reflect what a person thinks about things. I think its important to find someone who shares ideas in common with you, for example, if you were bisexual, you probably wouldn't feel too great marrying a person who thinks that gay people should be killed. little things like a favorite food or show preference are more of a personality thing I think.
@Ry-Studios I agree, I gave silly examples just to show that ideology can be anything from life threatening differences (can a black date a neo-nazi?) to silly, fun or annoying discussions.
even on religion, a believer is different than a fundamentalist.
That is why differences in opinion/groups of ideas/ideology etc is not what matters, but the compatibility of them and capacity to accept difference.
2 Atheists with different cultural background can be more incompatible than a religions and an atheist that came from the same background/region/culture
Would I marry a theist?' Depends on the theist and how Ingrained they are. There are theists who are not really theists, they are people that are just going through the paces but are skeptics. I've seen this a lot in the catholic and jewish faiths. If one of those came along and we matched, then we'd have to see where things led.
It would depend upon how he addressed my atheism.
How do you feel about militant Atheism and fighting violent theocracies to their core false beliefs and harming infants and girls ?
@Larry68Feminist Wow, that's a lot to unpack! Militant atheism is not my thing, but that could change if I felt threatened enough by theism, I suppose. I support fighting violence, whether its source is theocracy, greed, territorial, or some other flavor of power mongering. And of course I am strongly against harming infants and girls. Or boys. Pretty sure I can say with confidence that I wouldn't marry a guy whose stance on anything was too militant, or was into violence or harming infants or girls. But if a guy of good character found some comfort and peace in a belief system, and was able to do so without being judgmental or unkind, and if we were compatible in many other ways, I might consider him as a potential partner. Religion and morality don't have a whole lot to do with each other.
@Deb57 I have been fighting 40 years to teach the difference between secular ethics and the 100% source of "morality" = religion....as an American Atheist leader academic and religious attacks often equated Atheism as immoral....academia has always enabled religion and mis-defined Atheism fundamentally as one of many philosophies....only in the historic declarations of Thales can Atheism be traced to the first Atheist philosopher 27 centuries ago.....the very allegations that gawds are operant principles observed in nature was not finally eliminated until 150 years ago debunking the luminiferous ether as gawd....I define militancy as organized disciplined movement of assets in strategic directions ....in the case of Atheism mobilizing information and deployed logical demands for evidence from believers for their magical claims....it would be nice to find someone who feels all that is sexy and comforting....indeed the only true "gospel" is as John Lennon sang: no hell below us above us only sky
@Larry68Feminist I live in a very rural Bible-belt-y area. You can't swing a dead cat around here without hitting a bank or a church. I know it's a ratio thing, but I'm fond of making the truthful remark that I know a great many more immoral theists than immoral atheists. Can't swing a dead cat without hitting an immoral theist around here, either.
I am married to a believer in her God, but she is not, and has not been active in her "practice" except for the annual "special" holidays. She reminds me that I have hurt her feelings when I comment on what I see as religious idiocy, and I have come a good way in keeping my mouth shut about that, in her presence. We've been married for 36 years, and it is working well.
Could I do this with someone who was actively participating in attending church/temple, and going around praying wantonly? I do not think that I would have married such a one, in the first place.
I am married to a theist. When we first met about 16 years ago, we were in about the same place in regards to religion. We had a religion, but didn't attend church or talk about it much. As I journied out of religion, I talked about it more, thinking we were still in about the same place. That's when I discovered she believes in God. I also discovered she's uncomfortable talking about religion, so I stopped bringing it up with her.
She is a great woman, and she has went out of town with me to atheist conventions and doesn't complain about it, but she isn't really enthusiastic about either. I could go on, but just suffice it to say, I'm happy.
@Eazyduzzit Just goes to show you .How many nonbelievers on this site would go to a religious convention for their partner ,very few . .
@richiegtt I've gone to church with her several times. It's a game of give and take.
I married a Buddhist, we are happy.
Haa... yeah, a Buddhist would be fine with me as well..
@Captain_Feelgood get your own, LOL
No, I wouldn't marry a theist — but I wouldn't marry anyone else, either.
If I were inclined to get married, though, I'd be awfully careful about marrying anyone who believes in a god. I might be less skeptical of someone who believes it's possible but is by no means devout, especially if she holds strong secular values. I've seen too many people, though, who were nonreligious for 40 or 50 years, but then tragedy struck, usually in the form of the death of a loved one, and turned full bore toward religious faith, proselytizing and insisting that their spouse join them on this spiritual journey. I have no interest in that nonsense, so I'm fairly certain I would never get seriously involved with anyone who doesn't share my core values.
The non believers are an endangered species in my dating adventures. I turned away from a few theists for a relationship. I know some who are good people, but the fact that I am an atheist would not be accepted by them. So I stay single for now. I can never say never because it would be nice to have a significant other, however I do not want someone who is constantly trying to save me or convert me or constantly talking about gawd.
Depends on how religious they are. If they're extremely devout and it's "Jesus this" and "Jesus thet." then, no, it's not possible. If, however, they can worship but keep religion in perspective then, yes. I've already done that and still do with several different relationships in my life.
It's the ones who live, eat sleep, breathe, and shit Jesus that are the problem.