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Mourning a death

Is it easier for religious people to loose someone they love because they believe they will see them again? sad and lonely

8247B 4 Mar 31
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18 comments

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1

I have found most religious people I know seem to suffer as much, probably more than I do. I consider myself a realist. Every thing that lives dies. No one escapes. I admire their lives well lived, sad if they are short (lost my first son at 15 months old), grateful if they are long (my father died 3 years ago at 90), and happy for the time I got to spend with them. I may miss them, but I accept that life is fleeting and those alive carry on.

0

I wrote my own epitaph, "The end of Sentience" or An atheists farewell some years ago.
Since there are so many atheists on this site, here is a link to it.
[mojacar.ws]

0

I think that it also makes grieving a little harder, because you’re asking “why did God allow this?” Snd if you vocalize that question, you’re not trusting God, but if you don’t vocalize it, it just gets louder. The question can really rattle one’s “faith” in God, creating yet more anxiety.

1

I have lost friends, relatives and my child. And not wanting to offend or be irreverent, but this song sprang to mind after reading your post. You get through it coping in your own way by going though it. I managed to be diagnosed with PTSD. I don't reccomend going that route.

Turn! Turn! Turn!
The Byrds

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven
A time to be born, a time to die

A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
To everything (turn, turn, turn)

There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven
A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together
To everything (turn, turn, turn)

There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time…

Much better expressed than my earlier ramblings! ?

1

I don’t think is easy for anyone... im sorry you are Lonley and sad... it gets a little easier as the days go by... I loss the closest human to me last year. Still sad and lonley just hurts a little less

6

I think regardless of belief or not, the loss of a loved one is hard on anybody.

1

My mourning has been the same - religious and then atheist.

You miss having that person in your life at this moment - no matter what you believe.

I get to skip that step of trying to bargain with god however.

Condolences on your loss.

0

I'm lucky. I've made it to 50 and I haven't lost anyone close, so I don't have any first hand experience. I imagine religion provides some succour (they are in a better place/I will see them again) but I can't really empathise with that. Gone is gone, and we that are still here need to accept that. Either way, I'm guessing it is never easy.

0

All the ceremony seems to say no as it goes. I mean really as the religions go you are going to a better place so everyone at a funeral should really be happy and saying they can't wait for there turn shouldnt they?. I feel however I feel the moment I here of someone dying.

0

Today... "Saturday of Glory". Salsa is being played outloud in the house, we will follow with Salsa Dancing tonight... About Fucking Time! Because death is for the dead... Life is for the Living!

2

Losses are not easy for anyone

1

I don't know. My dad died after much illness at 90 three years ago. I don't believe I will see him again. If I want to be buried near him there is a family plot. Mixed feelings. Had a very dysfunctional relationship with him right up to a week before his death. My sister is somewhat religious and mourns him.

4

My husband died 16 years ago. We were soulmates. I haven't found anyone even close to being to me what he was. I still mourn. I thought it was a little freaky and unhealthy. I asked my therapist how wrong was it that I was in love with a dead man. He assured me that is was more common than one would think. In other words, like someone else says, they live in our hearts and memories.

Sometimes some people move along through healing and grieving the loss of a loved one at the same time. The two concepts are not mutually exclusive.

2

This is one issue I had to work out for myself. My mom passed away after a long battle with Multiple Sclerosis twenty-five years ago. At the time, I considered myself to be Agnostic. I leaned on the 'possibility' of afterlife to help me get through. As I've gotten older and let go of the nonsense that is religion, I've realized that even though I truly will never "see" my mom again, she has never really left me. She has always been in my heart, my memories, and she has definitely been a huge influence on my life.

Those we know and love will always live in the memories that we have made with them through the time we shared and can be recalled at any moment. Enjoy your memories.

I still sometimes think about what if i am wrong and there is an afterlife and i will see him again. But I dismiss it, and just rely on the memories to comfort me. They are so strong sometimes it makes my my heart hurt. I think some times they're true flashbacks, not just memories .

7

I just lost a friend two days ago. I do think people hold onto that thought that they are together again. Never made much sense to me. I personally feel people live on in the hearts of the ones who loved them. I guess folks find the comfort they need where they need it. That’s why it’s a bit hard to talk to people in those situations. WHen I do I support them in their thoughts, I don’t want to be like Westboro Baptist idiots and try to cause conflict at such a tough time.

8

When my papa died I truly realized that I understood why people would desperately seek religious comfort It's A coping mechanism.

@Katastrophe1969 there is nothing wrong with it. It's a placebo effect. Theraputic, like. Speaking to any religious leader, whether he be pastor, priest, lama, shaman, imam, kohen, what have you, during periods of severe grief can give a sense of peace. I don't believe it's gods doing, because it wouldn't work across all religions, but I think of it as something like a placebo. I can understand why, feeling more peaceful after talking with them, would lead people to believe it's a gods power, especially when just before you felt as though hell itself were inside you

7

I don't think it's any easier for people who claim a belief in an afterlife. I have been to the funerals of relatives who are very religious, and although they adamantly declare they will join this loved one again someday, they cry just as hard and look just as bereaved as any non-believer. I am very sorry you lost someone.

Deb57 Level 8 Mar 31, 2018
0

Not really. Losing someone, even a pet, is very difficult if you were close.

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