When I was dating my 'late' partner I did mention a 'former' one but was told sometimes it was a little too often. So I learned a lesson. Now I have to have a balancing act as to just the right amount. Other person(s) are a part of one's life as one's friends and maybe even their children and one should not expect the other to forget their past. For me, I want to know about the other people in a persons life, that's part of a relationship. The problem arises when that relationship is used as a comparison or model or chip on one's shoulder. For me I do not want to replace any of my past partners even the great one. I want someone new. It is not fair to anyone and is unrealistic. Everyone should be judged on their own merits. BTW I would hope if I did talk too much about another in the past my 'date' would nudge me to back off.

From what I understand, if it's the woman talking about her ex to her new boyfriend, what she's doing is telling the new boyfriend what she doesn't want. If it's the other way around that's a no no.

I do not have that problem

I guess it depends. Are they just talking about her as if they’re still in love? Then no. Are they just mentioning them as part of a story or something along that line? No big deal. Especially if they have children together. I get along with my ex just fine. Haven’t been in love with him for many years, but we were together for 20+ so...

One needs to be secure enough in one's self to not allow that to bother you. Don't tilt at windmills. Save your energy for real problems.

If the conversation comes around to it. Some people are curious about other's past, especially if they love you.

It kind of depends on what they are saying. If they are bashing them all the time, I'd rather they not. (Also, red flag! If they talk thst way about some one else there is a good chance they will talk to me in the same manner. If they just are just stories or anecdotes I'm good with that.

Totally depends. Could be 100% okay or not, whether it's talking about them all the time or never, based on what they say and how they say it.

Whatever it ends up being, it's vitally informative. I should have run for the hills after how much and what my ex said about his ex-wife in the first three weeks of our dating. I thought it was okay because of the way he was comparing me (effusively positively) to his ex. I didn't pay enough attention to the fact that he was constantly running down his wife of 20+ years and the mother of his children. sigh Lesson learned...

I voted other. I don't think it is appropriate for a first date but when you get to the point of discussing your relationship histories it is necessary. After that, in small doses is ok.

If someone has shared custody of minor children, then you are getting into a relationship with all of them including the ex and their partner...

Depends on the situation and for how much really , everyone has a past and to try and deny it is being unreasonable

If they were discussing all their past relationships, I think that would be a GIANT red flag!

I enjoy hearing about it, so long as it isn't all subjectively negative. Meaning, if it is just talking bad about them because they are the 'ex', it makes me think,"What are they gonna say about me if this doesn't work out?" If it is about abusive behavior, I don't mind being a sympathetic ear and trading war stories.

It depends on what / how is being said.

You have to care to be jealous

I don't mind as long as its relevant to a story or something

i have to say 'other'.
there can be a lot to be learned about a person from the way he/she talks about past (or present, for that matter) relationships, as well as what this person has to tell - & that i want to know.
on the other hand i get quickly bored to tears with non-adventurous life stories, especially if they are still emotionally loaded.

well as long as I am the one getting the sex it's ok. I'd rather we talk about him and she bangs me than talk about me and she bangs him.

It is their past be it good or bad. The input of the past can help you develope ways of not repeating the mistakes that lover in the past had and also be used as a tool to help you do what pleases. It also gives you a window into the other person perspective, provided that you look at it with an open mind.

They would relegate themselves to the sex only zone

I don't mind hearing about ex's. As as they left their baggage behind, like I have left mind behind. Most part women don't like hearing about mens ex's. Even though they pretend to nod they are OK with it.

As far as I remember its never happened to me but I am getting old and forgetful.

It's usually a big red flag. I used to brush it off in the past, but I have learned through experience that it is a significant signal that the person has not moved on or put the negative aspects of past relationships behind. In my opinion this behavior can be a sure signal that they will project the actions of others upon you and over analyze your every move based upon their hang-ups about their ex.

Just enough that I learn their earlier experiences, yet not so much that it's monotonous.

It's a treasure trove of information! What did they like? What did they not like? How can I make myself the better choice? What should I avoid doing if I want this relationship to last?

I don't mind it at all. My So has some serious hallrious stories sooo. Yep.. XD