A guide to how you can support marginalized communities.
Living in rural, largely-Republican Eastern Washington, racism against black and brown-skinned people is endemic and cruel.
Since 2006, I have been a volunteer college mentor at Wenatchee High School. I help first-generation students write essays to apply for college and scholarships. With English as a second language, even brilliant students have trouble writing in English.
One of my best success stories is Brenda, who won $269,445 in scholarships in 2016. A senior at Wesleyan University, Brenda is studying to be a medical doctor and pathologist. She hopes to cure diseases.
"We won't play with you because your skin is brown," white girls told Brenda in kindergarten. "That really hurt," Brenda said.
"Are you Mexican?" a white boy asked Brenda in a high school advanced placement math class. "I'm surprised because you're really smart."
"You smell like tortillas," a white boy said loudly to Teresa in the hallway when they were in middle school. "Is that all you Mexicans eat?"
"Everyone laughed," Teresa said. "I thought they were my friends! They were my classmates. My face burst into flames. I ran to the restroom and cried."
I have repeatedly asked school board members to help stop racist bullying in local schools. "Teachers cannot patrol the hallways," they replied. A lousy excuse. Racist bullying continues.
Beacon of Hope
"I am a beacon of hope in my neighborhood," Teresa said in 2015. "My younger siblings and neighbor kids look up to me. I am inspiring them to stay in school, get good grades, not drop out, don't get pregnant or join gangs, and go to college."
Recently Teresa and her brother, both accountants, bought their parents their first house.
In 2018, I took young women I previously mentored on a hike at Icicle Gorge, WA. From left:
Tammy, a Vietnamese immigrant, is studying to be a neurosurgeon at Univ. of Washington.
Elizabet, the oldest child of Mexican immigrants, is in medical school to become a pediatrician.
Teresa, the oldest child of Mexican immigrants, is an accountant and Latino community program director. An enthusiastic public speaker, Teresa has been asked to run for public office.
These are remarkable young people. It thrills me to send them to college.
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Well done you.
But this shouldn't have to be something special by a special person. It ought to be so natural that no one even comments.
Petter
Level 9
May 31, 2020
3
Thank you for your compliment.
But I don't understand what you mean by:
"But this shouldn't have to be something special by a special person. It ought to be so natural that no one even comments."
Please clarify.
@LiterateHiker I think he means it should be normal that we all behave this way. It shouldn’t have to be an exceptional thing that we compliment because such positive behavior is expected of us all.
@Apunzelle @LiterateHiker that's how I read it as well. It IS exceptional, and should be commended, but it's at the same time disappointing that it is the exception rather than the norm. We'd all benefit more if it were to become the norm. Thank you for sharing the article. I think there are many people who would like to be more actively engaged but simply get lost in the process of trying to figure out how.
@LiterateHiker Amzungu understands my comment perfectly. Whilst you are to be praised for your actions in the present circumstances, I am sad that everyone does not instinctively help others to flower, regardless of ethnicity, thus making such deeds so commonplace that they become regarded as normal behaviour.
Having lived the first 47 years of my life in Africa, and the remainder in Spain, I judge people and choose my friends by criteria other than ethnic origin.
Thank you. I take myself for granted.
In 2008, my daughter was a high school senior. Claire felt jealous of students I mentored. I didn't dare talk about it. To my annoyance, Claire didn't apply for scholarships I gave her. Ingrate.
A few years later, Claire began asking me to edit her college papers. I learned to be extremely tactful because Claire was hypersensitive to perceived criticism from me. She got frustrated, yelled and hung up.
So, I had Claire email me her draft paper. Privately, I edited. Then called Claire on the phone. Told her what I liked about it. We discussed the changes line-by-line. "Do you think this word is more clear?" Claire made corrections to her paper so she would learn from it.
When I sensed her patience was thinning, I skipped small edits, gave one key suggestion and ended with praise.
This made me a better mentor. Claire became an excellent writer.
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