I’ve never been a believer.
I see people mention deconversion.
Could you describe what that means to you?
I was raised white Southern Baptist. I was indoctrinated from birth. I don't know for sure if I ever truly believed but I know that by my sophomore year of high school I clearly no longer believed any of it. For me it means coming to the realization that everything you have been told is a lie and deciding to live in the real world of truth.
I think "deconversion" is just a loss of faith in believing in the ridiculous. The word itself only has meaning to religious persons, who view any change in beliefs as a conversion process, when loss of faith is actually the emergence of rational thought... a concept they are unfamiliar with and have trouble comprehending.