India, religion, matchmaking, and atheists
Am I imagining things or does the new Netflix TV show "Indian Matchmaking" make it seem like Indians are obsessed with religion and astrology?
Maybe it was just a consequence of the sample they selected for the show and the influence of astrology in matchmaking and the bias richer family parents seemed to have about religion? I've never traveled in India and my Indian friends are mostly US born so not typical.
Anyone with better knowledge care to comment? I'm particularly curious if atheism is even a thing there or is religion pretty much ubiquitous there? Would an atheist go to a matchmaker and get told to lie about their religion?
PS the 2011 census apparently had 99.76% of people in India identify with a religion. Other surveys suggest it's much lower than that.
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11 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I only look Indian minus the crap 
but true! My parents are Indian, their parents are Indian, their grandparents are Indian - all South African Indians though but with obvious ancestral Indian roots. I was raised in the Hindu religion. I simply did not comply. ...so I am just a human being with my own thoughts and outlook on life. That's it really. ...when I hear about all this crap that still goes on in India, I feel nauseous. Its just too much to take in.
TimeOutForMe
Level 8
Aug 6, 2020
1
India is a bizarre theocracy with so many alleged gawds it's harder to pin down a Hindi than a triune xian refusing the mathematics 1 does not equal 3 geebush jeehobah ghostholes SO..
..astrologers are on staff daily all government agencies to "chart" government activities...their money doesn't have IN buddha/krishna/siva WE TRUST like McCarthyite USA IN gawd WE TRUST lies
Larry68Feminist
Level 7
Aug 5, 2020
1
I know several Indians, when asked they identified as Hindu, but talk religion and they’re amazed you care, they’re just stories, they are cultural Hindus. These are all engineers so well educated. My sample size is limited, but that was my experience trying to discuss religion with them.
I think there are far more atheists in India, but getting them to admit it probably won’t happen in our life time.
Willow_Wisp
Level 8
Aug 2, 2020
3
If you are talking to Indians who have moved to USA, there's a huge sampling bias. These people would hardly be representative of India. I am one of them. You are right about being cultural Hindu, but Noone really knows what it means.
I have been to India several times and religion is very big there. If you read about India and religion you will find that one should strive to become rich and powerful, that is the most important thing then when one is old one should look after ones soul.
Jolanta
Level 9
Aug 1, 2020
2
@Jolanta ...yet when you're young, they'll tell you, you're an old soul .
@Jolanta
My parents used to say to us. Get educated, don't suffer, be more than ok in life. They used to say one degree is not enough, get another one 
.
...when Indians (from India) come to South Africa to work, some of them have three degrees or on doctorate level. ...and when I see that, I think to myself, "ok that's where my parents got that idea from"
They are obsessed with marriage, which is a religious creation. The astrology crap comes from their hindu beliefs, nothing new here, see hindu astrology here: [en.wikipedia.org]
Mofo1953
Level 9
Aug 1, 2020
3
Atheism unfortunately has attained an elitist label in India now. First prime Minister of independent India was an atheist. There are some current political leaders who are atheists (can you show me one in the USA 
). On the whole though India seems to be regressing in terms of social development. This means that stupid practices such as caste based marriages, horoscopes etc are going to continue for some time
Spongebob
Level 7
Aug 1, 2020
3
@Spongebob
Like you say "Stupid Practices"! Caste crap and marrying your children (daughters) off. Or the minute the son has a degree, "find him a wife and wait for grandkids". Its almost like a disease.
I am an Indian although living in the USA now. I have not watched this show, but it seems to be showing lives of upper class people. For most Hindus astrology is very important. I am on a match making site. You can use this website as a traditional dating website or a more traditional arranged marriage portal. What I see is that a significant percentage ask for "horoscope matching". Caste matching is also important to many. Just to let you in on a secret, many Indians who have migrated to the west follow the same route in terms of nuptial arrangement.
Regarding atheism, it is complicated. Oldest Hindu texts like rigveda have hymns which question whether there is a God and we can ever know it. There is also a lot of crap alongside though. There is a school of philosophy called Sankhya shastra and charvaka school of thought. These are atheistic in their nature. Today in practice though, these are largely forgotten. There are rationalists who are fighting malicious superstitions at grassroots level, but they are not many.
India is very diverse though. The diversity spoken of in USA or Europe is laughable by comparison. This makes most people tolerant of other cultures and practices in their social lives, but when it comes to intimate relationships people tend to be very conservative.
Also, atheism does not imply that one should not go for an arranged marriage. I have many friends who are militantly atheistic but choose to have a more traditional way of meeting prospective brides or grooms. One reason might be the practical aspects of living in a modern world separated by people in general. I guess I am rambling now, so I will stop.
Spongebob
Level 7
Aug 1, 2020
2
You are not rambling. You did very well there. Thank you for all that insight. I have red about Indian mythology and it is talking about how it is very important to become rich and to have power. The most important thing it says.
Thanks for the great feedback.
Do you think the practice of caste marriages is just a euphemism for maintaining wealth since I assume caste used to be related to wealth by profession right? These days if a person of the lowest class becomes spectacularly wealthy like Jeff Bezos do people conveniently forget what their caste is? Do they get a caste upgrade? Ditto if a rich person with high caste (if that is the term) losses all their money are they still desirable or not?
@prometheus Yes, Dr Ambedkar wrote extensively on this topic. He linked caste system (and other practices that have been almost eliminated now such as no widow remarriage) with patrilineal inheritance of wealth. This was probably due to the fact that land-ownership was the main form of wealth in medieval India. Since ancestral land was passed from father-son, there was and still is a preference for male child. Since the girl child wouldn't inherit the land, she was "married off" with a dowry in lieu of land. This "property" was then owned by the in-laws family. So, kin groups started marrying within the group and formed castes. This is my uneducated understanding. The point is inheritance and wealth management were closely associated with caste system.
Now, anyone can gain wealth with education rather than having access to ancestral land. Also, women are legally equal to men in inheritance, access to education and employment etc. So, the caste system has been severely weakened, but not eliminated. Especially, in the rural places it is very strong. Hopefully, that will change soon.
For the adherents of caste system, marriage is always within the caste, wealth is the second criterion. So a poor upper caste would prefer marrying someone from their own caste rather than a rich lower caste. A poor upper caste person is still in a better societal position than a rich lower caste person. Historically, caste and economic status went hand in hand. It is slowly changing, but economic disparities exist.
I think castes gain and lose prestige in time, but I am not sure how this works though. A caste group in my area has been aligning itself with right wing orthodoxy to gain power, but I don't know if that makes them a higher caste.
Here is an interesting article for you
[theguardian.com]
As far as I see it from the outside, the trouble-making powerful and perhaps violent individuals gave themselves (seized) "status" over others. No one human being is less important than the other. India rode on that $#! * for all this time and seized this powerdom over others who are dignified intelligent people.
(...apologies had to edit to continue my sentence because I hit the reply button too soon in error on my phone)
Most Indians are obsessed with astrology. Even the educated ones. Parents spend lots of money for the astrologer. The wedding will take place only if the astrologer assure whether the marriage will be peaceful or not. The date of the marriage, time of tying the knot, everything is decided based on this astrology bullshit. Most astrologers in India are rich. There are even apps for doing this.
AravindAjith
Level 6
Aug 1, 2020
3
You'd think there would be a burgeoning industry for reviews of astrologers. Like a Yelp! with reviews from all the people who had crappy bad marriages even though the astrologer said otherwise...
In a country where "honour killing" is still a thing, perhaps lying about your religious status is still a sensible option.
LenHazell53
Level 9
Aug 1, 2020
1
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