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When should you decide to engage in civil discourse?

Hi there!
Now I understand this might just be something purely based off of your personality and context of the situation as well but hear me out.

I've often pondered on when I should voice my opinion about certain ideologies to those sharing them.
Lately it's been astrology. (Though religion has it's moments too)
I have so many friends who post regularly on their instagram stories about astrology. Whether it be memes, talking about interaction with other "signs", birthdays, etc..
I usually keep my opinions to myself on social media at least but astrology in particular frustrates me. I know that my friends mostly post these things with light hearted intentions and not malice. However, the idea of labeling people based off when they were born, only to judge and have an assumption of who they are is very irritating. Let alone there being no evidence for it too.

This started to make me beg the question: when should you decide to engage in civil discourse?
I usually don't online because I feel like it's wasted energy more often than not(and usually not civil) but it still made me wonder. Especially considering I know these people somewhat closely.

Is it worth bringing up at all?
Do you wait till someone has crossed a line they shouldn't have? Or do you bring it up no matter how small the disagreement may seem?
This definitely fits with other topics that may cause disagreements as well.

This instance of mine may seem insignificant but still makes me want to say something whenever I see it. So I was very curious to hear what you think.
Thanks in advance 🙂
-Calvin

Calvin 4 Sep 4
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17 comments

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I don't understand this "instagram" thing. How would you know if you are being addressed and if so, can you either ignore it post by post / or filter out by terms / or subtract them as persons from your interaction list.

I think most "astrology fans" dumb it down disastrously. Obviously there are many more complex cycles and influences and one can appreciate one's traits in myriad ways, and develop strengths in both weak and strong areas. Fake astrology wouldn't be the only area where people waste their lives on commercialised gossippy shallowness.

It's your choice to make the effort or not (I wouldn't). Can't you get this stuff out of your face?

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Astrology was invented prior to the discovery of several planets. So what if my sign was Uranus rising and nobody knew it?

On the other hand, a mother's diet might conceivably be affected by seasonal variations in available foods, which could have an effect on fetal brain development and eventual personality traits, so there might be some grain of truth to the various star signs, although obviously not everyone born in the same month has the same personality. Those who are looking for "proof" that astrology works are relying on selective examples and confirmation bias.

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This topic went from opinions to racist jokes being told, whats the connection?

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It depends on the people and the topic. If you feel that they would be open to discussing it then I think you should have that conversation, especially in person. But online, as you said so well, it's wasted energy.

0

You just say astrology is all taurus, that way you can beg the question and have your logical fallacy too.

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This is what the 😀 emoji was invented for

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I have often wondered if the planets and even the stars have some effect on us beyond tides? Something to do with gravity more than dark strangers meeting fat women on wet Thursday afternoons being dictated by the position of distant stars millions of light years away.
But with an expanding universe, the pull of those heavenly bodies on our earth diminishes continually. I wonder if astrologers take this into account?

1

Bottom Line: Racism

"I never laugh at racist jokes," I said loudly as others laughed. New to Wenatchee in 1984, my husband was introducing me to his old friends, long-time Wenatchee residents.

Everybody stopped laughing. "I was just kidding," the man said weakly. "Racist jokes are never funny," I replied firmly, looking him in the eye. He never told a racist joke around me again.

Ultimately, I made friends with progressive, college-educated people like me who moved here from another state.

I certainly agree with you on racist jokes. As a much younger man I was not as I am today. My ex is black and I still have pics of lions and tigers on the wall. One such pic is made out of copper and I bought in in Kenya in 2004. I have no problems with these pics on my walls and nobody to argue that I should remove them.

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My responses likely appear in reverse; if I disagree with what they are promoting, it loses my attention. They know I’m ‘aware’ of it, but my lack of response or rebuttal often feels as telling of my ..disrespect for the subject than going at them in public.

In private, or if confronted directly, I’ll be honest, and as unemotional as possible.

Varn Level 8 Sep 4, 2020
3

Whats your sign??........stop

3

When I am asked, I will say I am a Scorpio but to me it is just nonsense ... the same as religion.

My take on this is to ask how many others in our world are Scorpio and why would it matter? Astrology was originally a directional system anyway.

3

I think the whole astrology thing is batshit crazy but I have another philosophy I live by. Don't fight battles you don't have to, and don't fight battles you can't win. Arguing with godbotherers, astrology believers and anyone who believes in any sort of "woo" fit into that basket for me. Generally I define woo as anything which can't be falsified or verified in a scientific fashion

6

Welcome to the asylum. Enjoy your stay.

I'll engage in discourse whenever I feel like it.
It doesn't necessarily have to be civil.

I'm pretty tired of being "nice".

1

Always without hesitation is the best policy!!!

If we as as country would have actually refined our election system we would not have been in this overtly over the edge ruination of our country by these Obstructionist republican fascists who are own by the wealthy and their corporations!!!

I don't think the problem is the "false left/right paradigm," it's the false democrat/republican paradigm. The democrats aren't "left" they're middle right.

@Theresa_N

2

In the specific context you mention - a friend's post on social media - I would probably just sigh and move on. Any comment of mine would probably come off as snarky.

If someone actually ASKS me my "sign" in online conversation, then I figure that I have a little more freedom. To shut that line of inquiry down, I might say "A positive" (since my blood type might actually be USEFUL information). If I'm feeling more talkative, I might say, "You know, the small but close mass of the obstetrician actually exerts more gravitational force on a newborn than the massive but distant stars do" (my friends already know that I'm a nerd.)

You can probably see where this escalation of engagement is headed: the in-person conversation! I figure that in-person conversation is made for this sort of discussion; I don't hold back then.

When my friend and I were young, we used to do street cleanup in our neighborhood. As a result, somebody in our little village (96 people), got us a sign that said we were cleaning it up. So when anybody asks me "what's your sign" I can honestly reply "the street cleanup sign in Rescue, thought I share it with a friend." Their facial reactions usually make it past the mental filter most people have because it is too random.

@PadraicM A friend of mine had a ready response for "What's your sign?" when asked as a come-on.
"My sign is 'stop', 'do not enter', or 'wrong way'…"

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ok, here it goes, astronomy is as equally as bullshit as religion, nobody can decide when but you.

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Don't start to debate, just state your position in a positive way, in other words don't say. "No I do not agree with that." Instead say. "I am finding that the freedom, and positive personal growth that I gain from not engaging with astrology right now are too valuable to loose." Then leave it to them to start the debate if they want to, which they probably won't, but by the time they have heard you say something like that several times, they may just start to question for themselves with out you having to do anything. Example wins more converts than debate.

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