My mother's brother is in the hospital with some sort of bleeding issue. He also has covid, so his family cannot be with him and so are very stressed. My lovely very Christian mother was talking to wife last night about his condition, and said, "If it's God's will that this is his time to leave us, so be it. I will miss him too." Such a kind, compassionate Christian... 
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.It was also Gods will for Trump to be re-elected they say but somehow the devil got in the way
abyers1970
Level 7
Nov 7, 2020
0
Everything to them is god's will. but it seems more like their will. That's why your god hates everything that you do whether you actively go to church or not.
Sorry to hear of your relatives health problems. It does not seem that the bleeding issue and COVID go together very well. The stronger the immune system the better off people with the virus are.
DenoPenno
Level 9
Nov 6, 2020
1
Wouldn't be surprised if you know him. He lives in Bourbon.
@JonnaBononna It is possible that I know him. This is a small town.
Death is part of life, not an easy part. In the scheme of things it sounds like your Mum’s attitude is pretty healthy, trying to deal with the reality that they may lose him. It must be very hard for them not to be there with him.
girlwithsmiles
Level 8
Nov 6, 2020
1
Her attitude may be healthy, but I see no reason to express that cavalier attitude to his wife and children who will miss him on an entirely different level. That was just uncalled for.
There are many stages of grief and they don't begin only when someone is gone for good. My wife became very ill last March and she is still in the hospital. Her doctors recommended hospice care for her, but it wasn't what she wanted and she became aware enough to tell them that. She has slowly recovered and is still in the hospital. Because of COVID, we haven't been able to visit since March except through a window when her room was on the first floor. At the end of June, she was moved to the second floor and we had to resort to Skype. I threaten to buy a portable trampoline. I don't know if she will be able to come home. Her cognitive and mental abilities appear to have recovered completely but she is very weak and continues with certain physical ailments. One can only hope for the best for her.
RussRAB
Level 8
Nov 6, 2020
0
I'm so sorry you have to go through that. I do hope she gets better
@JonnaBononna - Thank-you. She has already defied the odds against her and I hope she continues to improve. I honesty thought she would not recover last March based on what her doctors were telling me. The truth is as girlwithsmiles says, death is a part of life and losing someone important to you is difficult. As my wife and I approach or surpass the ages our parents died, the thought of either of us passing becomes more prominent in our minds. The idea that we can live as if we have all the time in the world just isn't the reality. My father died at age 75 which is about 10 years away from my age. When I look back, 10 year can pass in no time at all.
Sad about your uncle; my wife's uncle passed away two weeks ago after a long battle with cancer.
Contained in your mother's statement is the intractable logic of the faithful believer--if your uncle passes away, it was God calling him to heaven, but if he survives it was God's healing power. God wins, either way, with our without the assistance of doctors, caregivers and medicines.
p-nullifidian
Level 8
Nov 6, 2020
2
MY mother was always coming out with this crap about "when your time comes" and "There is an alloted time when gawd will call you home" and so forth.
If that was the case gawd must have had a right good laugh when he decided to take her causing her to fall off the toilet and end up face down on the bathroom floor with her knickers round her ankles and her nose wedging the door shut.
LenHazell53
Level 9
Nov 5, 2020
6
Oh, the irony!
Hopefully the bathroom floor wasn't too trashed out???
Words fail me about this. I can usually talk about this kind of Christian attitude in the abstract, but all I can think of right now is my feeling for what you, your aunt and uncle are going through.
I just hope medical science and luck will prevail and he will be well again.
Paul4747
Level 8
Nov 5, 2020
7
I lost my oldest boy from a tragic MC accident...he was in a Coma for 6 months...a head Nurse at the Hospital(where I had previously worked BTW) had the cold nerve to tell me that my son was in the Coma because I DIDN'T BELIEVE IN GOD...she doesn't know how close I came to screaming FUCK YOU in her face...there is a huge degree of self centered arrogance that the Christian community carries around with them. They blame the bad things on Satan and Man and the good things get credited to "God" ...what they can't reconcile is death that isn't from age ... If they can't blame it on their standard "go to" characters then it "MUST" be God's will...and it comes across as a statement...and there is no emotion attached to it...and a lot of times it can be cruel...which I believe is how they may REALLY feel about their "GOD"...but because of lifelong training ... They can't allow themselves to "voice it"...just my theory mind you...I just don't think one can be honest if they have been programmed with obvious LIES all their life...don't be too hard on your aunt is what I am trying to say...she is fighting a demon internally...and the sad part is she is in full denial...Namaste
phoenixone1
Level 8
Nov 5, 2020
5
Very, very sorry for your loss.
And nice job of holding it together with that nurse. I am not nearly as sympathetic as you are, though. I think each of us at maturity has an ethical duty to critically examine the things our parents required us to believe.
You sound like a very strong person. Thanks for sharing.
Unbelievably cold hearted of that nurse. I'm so, so sorry for your loss.
My poor aunt called my cousin crying over this coldness from my mother....
@LovinLarge your correct of course in that as we mature we have an ethical duty to critically examine our lifeand our interactions...BUT...if a person is taught to FEAR THEIR OWN THOUGHTS where it pertains to their RELIGIOUS BELIEFS...then they may avoid self examination on matters of death as they have been programmed to do...the SWITCH was flipped...keep in mind that half the country(USA) is Christian and they communicate like little robots with one another...we as Agnostic/Athiest on the other hand see life with a more critical view...and a clearer picture of what is REALLY happening in our daily lives.
I am not as strong as you would guess...i struggle every day with his loss...11 years tomorrow...you never get over losing someone you love and you never get over losing a child...you get further away from the time that it happened...but you still feel the depth of the loss...I always taught my kids that Death was a part of Life...I also taught them that you had to face Death or it would consume you. I am strong enough to face it...smart enough to know why I am hurting...the old saying of, "Time heals all wounds"...well...thats TOTAL BULLSHIT...but I know I am doing the best I can.
@JonnaBononna. your mom is only doing what she has been taught...and breaking habit would in effect "Kill her soul"...its the fear of death that drives Christianity...always has been...always will be...sorry for your mom's responses...again...don't be too judgemental...you know better
she is hurting also...don't kid yourself. She is rooted in her "faith" though and you have to make an allowance or it will eat your brain...she feels the pain but she's not good at expressing it maybe?...just trying to help...
@phoenixone1 I know you don't feel strong. But my experience says that "doing the best that I can" is the test for how well you are coping, although that probably differs from day to day. Not everyone can honestly claim to be doing the best that they can. I think if I were you I would feel pretty proud of myself for coping under such exceptional circumstances. Not everyone does. I wonder what your son would say.
@JonnaBononna Do you think your mother even recognizes how cruel her comment was?
@LovinLarge I doubt it. We have a strained relationship- not much of a relationship at all really- due to some events of about 15b years ago. Her insight of what other people were going through during that time was mostly non existant, and much of that I think was straight denial. I just think she's created her own little God filled world.
@JonnaBononna I don't want to say anything derogatory about your mother, I'm just glad you can separate yourself from her delusion. Maybe you could keep us posted about your uncle?
@JonnaBononna that's sad to hear.. Been there...done that with the strained mom thing...she lived in her own delusional world. If there is anything positive that comes from these failed relationships with our parents it's that we stop the cycle of religious insanity with OUR kids so that the next generation can hopefully lead a more fulfilling and thoughtful life.
@phoenixone1 thanks. And thankfully, we stopped a lot more toxicity as well.
@LovinLarge will do.
I'm going to try to paraphrase Christopher Hitchens... "Religion is the one thing that enables otherwise good people to do horribly wicked things."
@racocn8 ...gotta love Hitchens...straight from the brain...he was deadly accurate.
@Phoenix......I'm so sorry this happened to you! And I really hope you complained to the hospital administration! I might've written to the nursing board, too! The unbridled arrogance of some ''Xtians" is overwhelming.
@LucyLoohoo that Nurse was the least of my problems and I considered filing a complaint but all she would have gotten was a slap on the wrist...the rest of the Staff was so good to me and my son...i didn't want to rock the boat.
@phoenixone1 Wonder how often she gets away with her proselytizing?
@LucyLoohoo not any longer...she is retired.
@phoenixone1 GOOD!
Thanks for sharing. My very best wishes for a speedy recovery for your uncle. Now if only medicine could cure religion...
LovinLarge
Level 8
Nov 5, 2020
4
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