Save your farts for these moments. Pray in your own silent way.

I sit there with a smile, look around to see who else isn't bowing their head, and try not to laugh if I make eye contact.

If they are bowing their heads and closing their eyes, then you can do anything you want. I suggest shadow puppets.

I think the simple answer, we respect other beliefs even though we don't practice or believe them. Athiests are tolerant, sadly many religious people are not, a sad fact we have to live with, and the cause of many wars.

I recently visited my rather conservative Christian sister in Virginia for her 50th birthday. I hadn't seen her in nearly 8 years. "Grace" was said at every meal. I just sat there looking at everyone while they prayed. It was her house, so those were her rules. I just didn't participate. Those are MY rules. Praying aside, it was a GREAT visit.

Your respecting them, not there beliefs. it's just easier than any other option.

I was at a charity banquet for an organization based in the Philippines. Long story, college involvement, research on Luzon, etc.. Anyway, at the banquet, a prayer was said. Filipinos, Americans, and Filipino-Americans bowing down to some make believe deity was the order of the scene. That’s the moment when you look around the hall, nodding at biology and mathematics professors, rolling eyes, and learning who the atheists are.

I think you answered your own question: you want your children to be respectful and tolerant. As such, if others have different customs / beliefs, you tolerate those customs and respect those people's right to believe as the choose (if not necessarily the actual beliefs). If that's what you've been teaching them, then that's what you can point to as why you do it.

That should be sufficient if all you're doing is bowing your head and closing your eyes and letting others pray. If you are taking turns offering prayers, or if you are concealing your unbelief in other ways, then that would be dishonest and problematic for what you're trying to teach them. But not teaching them to be asshats by refusing to allow people to offer prayers if they want to ... that is perfectly fine.

Their house their customs, my house my customs. I sit silently and wait at their house, they are welcome to pray silently at mine without people waiting on them.

It teaches that respect runs both ways. It is not just for people with a religious custom.

At restaurants it is either the one who pays or the majority will.

I respectfully stay quite and let them do their thing, but I don’t participate. I wouldn’t make an issue out of it, but if your kids ask again I would just tell them, that it is out of respect for the host of the event.

I don't bow my head or close my eyes. I just sit quietly and wait for them to finish their prayers.

What drives me bonkers is when religious people demand/expect us to just accept and respect what they believe, but they refuse to return the favor. It boils me. I don't bow my head at meal prayers period.

I remember my mother explaining things that were going to happen when we went over to her work friends homes. We were always told to be polite and go with the flow, now your head while someone says grace, be respectful, and if something happens that is strange or makes you feel bad, come and spend time with her. Nothing bad ever happened but early on we learned that we had to get along as these situations had to do with her job. We were raised catholic and went to a catholic school, the best she could afford, she wanted us to be educated. There was much that did not make sense and fortunately we moved to an Indian Reservation where we went to public school. Children need to learn how to get along in the world and they need guidance which you are giving them. The best you can do is try to teach them to think for themselves. Good luck you seem to be on the right track.

I always think of the Bart Simpson mealtime prayer: "Rub-a--dub-dub, thanks for the grub". I mean, really, I am grateful to the cooks.

I just stand quietly or wait til they're done to start eating. Participating in the ritual doesn't teach tolerance or respect. It teaches them that your (possibly their's) beliefs and rituals are not as important as everyone else's..

Dunno. I've been in Thailand since 2010, and didn't fully dump all Christianity until last year.

Perhaps I'd tell my family members that we are agnostic, but that we'll respect their traditions and just meditate during their prayers.

I do that with Muslims and Buddhists here in Thailand anyway, attending their funerals and social events and simply meditating happily whenever there are prayers involved.

It's not just meals. Both charities I work with and the local government I worked for start all meetings with prayers. Almost certainly illegal at the government level, but not a fight I wanted to start when I knew I wasn't long for that backwater.

So, I just silently sat there when it was prayer time.

It's customary at my family's get-togethers. My dad always leads a prayer. We don't do the hand holding, which is nice. I don't bow my head or close my eyes, but I'll just stare at something on the table.

A few years ago, we had a small class reunion. The next day, a dozen or so of us met for breakfast at a small diner. There was a couple at the end of the long table that I didn't really remember very well, and in between trips from the waitress bringing our food out, they said with big smiles: "you don't mind if we pray, do you?" Everyone said no problem. I didn't have my food yet, but as they prayed, I politely drank my coffee.

No one said anything, so it was all fine. But when they asked if their praying was OK, what I wanted to say was: "What for? What does praying over your food do? What magic do you think is happening? And why couldn't you do it in the car before you came in? And can't you just pray silently in your head? He hears your prayers even when you don't say them out loud, right? I think it's because you need people to see you doing it. So, you go ahead and put on your show, but don't expect me to be your audience. Do whatever you want, but I'm having this coffee."

I understand why ignorant people a long time ago thought that a crop's success or failure was either god's gift or punishment. But why is it necessary to pray when your omelette shows up?

I think you're doing the right thing. Just explain it to the kids.

You are only sending the wrong message if you never discuss it with your children outside of the situation. Praying and bowing your head to respect your host's traditions look the same, but what's going on inside is very different. Talking regularly with your children about how to live among the theists will make it less confusing for them. Having them present to observe your calm and rational conversations with theists about your differing opinnions will teach them how to openly discuss opposing views.

Personally, I followed my family's traditions. I do not feel like it is lying, siimply not sharing that part of myself with my family. This is similar to not sharing my sexual preferences or telling the story about that one time with the car and the cop. I DO take that time to reflect on all the things I am grateful for, which is what much of dinner prayer is.

My not sharing does not harm those in my family nor does it harm me for not sharing.
Would they judge me if they knew I was an athiest? Of course. Just like they might judge me for my sexual practices. But I'm not agonizing over not telling them about those tidbits b/c the only person who needs to know and be okay with them is myself and my partner(s).

If it harms you when you do not share it (cause you unease or worry), if you feel you are being dishonest with your family, then you should take action in some way and find a way to remedy this. Talk with your family, don't participate, or whatever solution you find works for you. That type of tolerance does not help you and will create a tension in you that others around you can feel.

I just sit silently and think thoughts of peace and appreciation. It shows respect for their beliefs without being confrontational and develops the habit of being appreciative in a secular way.

In any religious custom that I have to be involved with, I just sit there in respectful silence. No reason to bring my animosity towards religion into the situation unless there comes some case where others just in a big stink over my silence.

I had to attend a funeral today for my great aunt, very religious and christian. While I have very harsh opinions towards religion and hate hearing some of the sappy emotional stuff that it entails, I just kept silence and paid my respects.

I didn't raise my kids to be atheist - they were free to discover their own paths - but they knew what I thought because unlike the family of many of their friends here in the south - I didn't go to church, no grace was said at meals and there wasn't a bible in the house. However, there were times when we'd visit the in-laws where grace was said and like everyone else, I'd bow my head. My kids once asked me why since I didn't believe and my response was simple - I'm not praying, I'm not giving thanks to a divine entity - I'm saying to myself how lucky of a guy I am that my family is all together in one room and in a few moments will take part in a fantastic meal where I was positive there would be a lot of love and laughter. I might have been the only non-theist in the room (my kids came to that same conclusion later on in life) I knew that the moment wasn't about me - the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one. It's OK for the sake of harmony to go with the flow - only you know what you're thinking about during that moment of silence.

I just listen and observe. I'd go to a Jewish or Muslim wedding just to see how things are done. It would be, for me, like visiting an art museum.

I'd handle prayer at meals in the same way that I handle broccoli. Let the people who want it have it so long as no-one's pushing it down my throat.