I love to play with scammers who call me!

Ring! Ring! An automated message says something about my account and if I want to speak with a rep, press 1. Of course I want to speak with a rep!

Rep: Hello, my name is Joseph.

Me: Hello, Joseph, I understand that there is a problem with my account, but the message didn't say which one.

J: It is your ATT account, ma'am.

Me: Oh, my!

J: Do you have an account with ATT?

Me: You called me, so you tell me.

J: It is an automated system that called, ma'am, not me.

Me: Yes, but why would the automated system call me if I didn't have an ATT account?

He ceases that line of questioning and says, "Your account has been compromised and has been suspended."

Me: Oh, my!

J: May I have your last name so I can look up your account?

Me: How do you know if it is suspended if you haven't looked it up already?

J: Ma'am, may I have your last name?

Me: Of course, young man! It is Jehoshaphat.

J: Can you spell that for me?

I do--quite incorrectly.

J: That's an unusual name.

Me: It's Biblical. Are you a Christian, young man?

J: Yes, ma'am.

Me: Then you should know the name.

J: I haven't read the Bible in a long time, but the name sounds familiar.

Me: You need to read your Bible more often, young man.

I am waiting for him to ask my first name so I can say, "Jumping," but he doesn't ask.

J: Ma'am, your account has been suspended, but we can fix that.

Me: Wait a minute--you found my account using that name?

J: Yes, ma'am.

Me: I want to be sure this is on the level: YOU found ME using THAT name?
J: Yes, ma'am.

Me: That is a load of bullshit as that is not my name.

He hangs up.

And so it goes.

Ring-ring. I answer the phone and get a recorded message telling me it's the Social Security Administration and my card has been suspended due to criminal activity.

OF COURSE I want to talk to a representative!

Him: Ma'am, what is your name?

Me: My name is Josephine Baker.

Him: Josephine Baker

Me: Yes. Josephine Baker.

Him: Can you spell for me the last four digits of your SS number?

Me: Of course I can! 6-6-6-6.

Him: 6666?

Me: Yes.

Him: Hold on a minute.

I hold on a minute.

Him: Hello, ma'am?

Me: I can't hear you very well. I am an old woman and am hard of hearing.

Him: Can you hear me now?

Me: You'll have to speak loud and clear. You sound like you are in an airport.

Him: Can you hear me now?

Me: You'll have to speak up!

Him: Can you hear me now?

Me: Yes, I can.

Him: Can you spell for me the last four digits of your SS number?

Me: I just did: 6666.

Him: Ma'am, that is not showing as your number.

Me: It isn't? Oh, my! I am an old woman and very forgetful. Maybe I forgot my number. Maybe I better check it.

Him: Yes, Ma'am, please do.

Me: Hey, idiot, do you think I am an idiot? You f**** scammer! Are you proud of yourself calling old people to scam them out of their money? Does your mother know that you are doing this?

Him: (Unintelligible.)

Me: Do you have no morals and no ethics? Do you think it is ethical to scam old people? What does your mother think about this?

Him: (Unintelligible.)

He hangs up.

I should have played with him some more before outing myself.

And another:

The following account contains cuss words.

Woman: “Hello, how are you today?”

“I’ll tell you how I am today. I’m pissed as hell that you call me for the 457th time while my country is being ravaged by Covid 19: 10,000 people have died and YOU are calling to bother me yet again with another fake offer for a credit card that I don’t even have. Have you no shame that you bother people when their world is falling apart?”

She tries to say something.

I shout—and I mean shout--“YOU ARE SHAMEFUL, SHAMEFUL, SHAMEFUL that you call people in their hour of need and bother them with this shit. You are a useless, shameless piece of shit! People are dying all over and you are running your fucking scam.”

Silence, but she has not hung up.

I say, “If you are religious, your god is looking down on you and is ashamed that you are doing this, you fucking piece of shit.”

She mumbles something in a foreign language so low that I cannot even tell if it is Spanish or Mid-Eastern and then, silence. I ask, “Are you still there?”

She replies, “Get out of my life.”

I respond, “Get out of YOUR life? YOU called me.”

She hangs up.

I think that the mumbling might have been a prayer to ward off evil spirits.