Never done that myself. My first wife and I have remained good friends and check up on each other some times (usually months apart) whenever we feel the issue is important. Last time I contacted her was to let her know about a FEMA vaccination site in Miami that allowed walk ins 7 days a week. I knew she doesn't follow news because she's way too busy working. I was right and she thanked me for the text. She since our split remarried and so did I. Never interested in researching who her husband is beyond what she told me. A research doctor.

Now that I'm free of my ex-boyfriend, I would only wish any of his new lady loves well. While he was a lying cheat to me, I would like to think he learned some lessons and would treat any new lovers he can attract better.

I wouldn't want to sabbotage his new relationship, for fear he'd come back to me, haha! I'm happy to give my ex the benefit of the doubt, and if he is still up to his lying cheating ways, perhaps his new lady love would be smarter than me and figure him out before getting in too deep. Not my problem anymore, so best to keep out of it.

Now, if he was out with one of the ladies (I use that term loosely) he cheated on me with, well then I would really have to bite my tongue not to say something snarky to her in the restroom. Best to just quietly leave like you did, haha!

I guess I really do not understand why you care enough to stalk and spy?

Well, I'm sure that the new lover will soon learn what she needs to knows about him and who knows she may soon become another ex-lover. Sure, sometimes men and women want to know why they have been dumped for someone else. It may not be based on any particular problem that arose between two people, although that is often used as an excuse to exit a relationship. Relationships sometimes end for the most shallow of reasons, which, with the wisdom of hindsight you are grateful.

The reason(s) why relationships end are usually fairly self evident. What really needs study is why people remain together throughout their lives. Lets face it many people enter relationships with unrealistic and or unstated expectations which gradually surface in the course of the relationship.

It only makes you appear obsessive to the new girlfriend, who has probably already heard you spoken of as the "crazy ex," (even if he is the one who drove you crazy). Best to let her find out on her own. And if he started secretly seeing her before ending it with you, she should already know he's a liar, and whatever he ends up doing to her is well deserved.

That situation would definitely bring up mixed feelings

If she has any brains she will find out soon enough. If she doesn't have enough brains then she will get what she deserves. We can't save the world.

Good choice no need to degrade yourself