Menopause Rhapsody- Bohemian Rhapsody Parody Song for every Queen
This lady has made a classic!
"Mom, what are those black hairs sticking out of your nose?" Claire, 13, asked, horrified. I was driving. Gave her a look. At fifty, I was three years into menopause.
"Claire, just add that to your list of taboo questions," I replied, amused. "You may not ask an adult about wrinkles, getting fat, going bald, gray hair, yellow teeth and now, black hairs sticking out of their nose." I laughed. She rolled her eyes into the next state.
Since then, twice a week I sit down with tweezers, face wax, a flashlight and magnifying mirror. Takes nerves of steel.
If I stopped personal grooming, I would turn into a mini-Sasquash and melt into the mountains scaring hikers. Unwanted hairs, indeed.
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10 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I must be an anomaly, because my menopause was rather quick and done with by the time I was 45. Yes, I had the hot flashes and night sweats, but they didn't last all that long. Mood swings? Nope, but then again people have told me that I have ALWAYS been moody. Still not on any hormone therapy either. No more damn periods, and I never wanted kids, so there's that. The one thing that bothers me though is that my hair is thinner now.
BlackDove
Level 7
June 20, 2021
1
The best part of menopause is when it is over! No more packing protection, no more mess and fuss.
HippieChick58
Level 9
June 8, 2021
2
don't worry mein dahlings. the great mainstream of us will struggle to save you, care for you, forgive you your tantrums and injustices, tolerate and rationalize your hostile ideological rages, remember you and mentally enshrine the "you" we know in some fashion you once were. because the lucky among us have seen and have lived in the light of the natural love you are capable of. it doesnt matter that we now have trouble finding the great mainstream of you. even now as our species struggles with its suicidal adolescence, we are hard wired to believe the in your hearts you are still who we "bone deep" need you to be. and we don't get woman o pause..............THE GOOD MENS
holdenc98
Level 7
June 8, 2021
1
whats so bad about menopause anyway?
women shouldnt be having children after a certain age, its dangerous in many ways and simply biology
besides if i had a bird id prefer for it to not gush every month, but thats just me i suppose
HeAdAkE
Level 6
June 8, 2021
1
Each woman is different. For me:
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Excruciating migraine headaches for two years.
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Soaking sheets and blankets with sweat every night.
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Osteoporosis: broken bones.
@LiterateHiker omg i had no idea
i retract my crass comment k
i can't empathize but i can certainly sympathize 
u take care of ur special place ok
This is hilariously true!!! As a woman who has gone thru menopause, I have to say this was spot on! Loved the head banging ladies!!
Redheadedgammy
Level 9
June 8, 2021
3
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