Yes, and now I need therapy and my wonderful support system. My ex has threatened to sue me if I tell anyone what he did to me.
I married a sweet brilliant nurse who turned into a raging alcoholic in a mommy state. I knew I wanted out after the third rehab failed. I also knew I had to take the kids with me. So it wasn't so much holding on. I was taking the time to build a strong enough case to get custody of my kids. That period of time was stressful to say the least. She knew I was wrapping a package for her so she threw every false accusation in the book at me. She finally screwed up and got baker acted after she DUI wrecked her car with my kids in it. That was the evidence i needed to take the kids, and the house. She had to move to jail and i raised the kids myself after that. Those were miserable times until I was able to put her in my rear view mirror.
@AMGT Thank you Amy. I think you are a good mom so your words mean a lot to me.
With so many things going on, it’s hard to blame anyone else for my being “destroyed inside” unless I’m living with a sociopath. And if we are just not able to communicate or to collaborate with each other, if we are in effect “frenemies,” then that’s an excellent sign that we should not be together.
Of course. Marriage is supposed to last a lifetime. Only when I realized I was the only one contributing did I leave. All three times.
The good news is, now I can see it. And I won't let it happen again.
I was with my ex-wife and was unhappy. Hmmm... money kept me there. Her weekend business trips for cosmetics she sold.
She was cheating on me. I found out later.
Yes. like many people I've tried to pretend things were working when they weren't. These days I am just trying to be more careful at the interview stage
Wonder if there is an enzyme created when we fall for our partners...that blocks the 'common sense' part of our brains from functioning correctly? Men used to be able to blame their dicks for leading them down the path to relationship hell. Not too sure anymore......
@AMGT - Interesting. And all this time I've been blaming that damn gold tequila/testosterone potion.
There sure is, and it wears off 6-18 months in generally. That's normally when you wake up and smell the dirty socks!
The "interview stage" I LOVE it!
I think many relationships end long before the separation, its natural to try to stick it out in the hopes that things will go back to the way they were, hopefulness, optimism are wonderful human characteristics, but unfortunately, we often suffer far too long before admitting that it's over
I had never, really, be unhappy to that effect. I am a Strange Dude... happy to be alive.
Not for long, baby! The ex kept going to CA to 'see her kids' more and more often. I get that, and I loved her kids and family. She never did jack anyway, so I said it was fine to go ahead even though my head was exploding trying to organize, clean out and sell two difficult properties in CO that had been in my family since the 50's...so that we could move to Pismo beach. The final straw was that I found out the ex was walking on Pismo beach instead of being with her kids in the SF Bay Area 4hrs north. It was a slap on my face and a fatal disrespect of my efforts.
I heard this news from her on Friday during a phone call, and fired her lazy ass on the spot when she walked out of DIA on Sunday before her suitcase was even in the back of my truck. I figured if she expected to achieve a lifelong goal of living near the ocean by the bounty of my family...she should have been working just as hard as I was to make that happen. Only after the dust settled for a bit did I realize what a bonus in disguise this was, as I had started to 'stuff' my growing disdain for her increasing sloth. Tuesday the divorce is final. Then the search will begin for the next ex Mrs Dennis! Bwahaha!
I did. I won’t again. I hope you don’t if you’re ever unhappy. Or anyone else, too.
I've--more often than not--jumped into things I wasn't 100% on board with... which is why I'll never do that dance again. I can't trust my own judgment.