Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
12
Enjoy being online again!
Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.Create your free account
6 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Johnny comes home from school one afternoon, his mom asks - "What did you do today?
"I had sex with my English teacher."
"WHAT??? You just wait till your father gets home to deal with you! Upstairs NOW!"
Dad gets home, mom tells him what Johnny said. Dad gets a smirk on his face...
Up in Johnny's bedroom, he asks... "Is it true?"
"Ya, I had sex with my english teacher."
"Well son, your Mom is angry, but I say congrats! I say we celebrate your right of passage Into manhood. How about we go buy that mountain bike you've been eyeing?"
"Wow, okay!"
So at the cycle shop, dad says - "We're only a mile from home. Why don't you go ahead and ride your new bike home?"
"Nah" says Johnny... "My bum still hurts..."
BAZINGA!
Hominid
Level 7
Dec 2, 2017
3
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"
When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
"GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
"JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question.
"What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"
And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"
The Teacher fainted.
gearl
Level 8
Dec 2, 2017
2
I wonder if Little Johnny grew up. He might be Matt Lauer now.. 
Dougnostic
Level 5
Dec 2, 2017
3
Enjoy being online again!
Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.Create your free account
Share this post
Categories
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.