If you have decided to cheat on your spouse then you have no respect for your spouse, the person you are having the affair with or yourself, you are lying to all three.

Two rights don't make a wrong. It sounds like you were like two ships passing in the night.
Often we make difficult decisions in life and struggle with accepting the consequences of said decisions.
Him coming clean with you was the right thing to do. Letting go isn't always easy. Desire doesn't fade overnight. You are obviously the one with the stronger will to do what is best.
Sorry that it didn't work out for you. You are right it is not fair to her or you that you entertain his sexual requests. He'll possibly regret that decision.
You met a nice guy. You both enjoyed the time together. Hopefully the next one will be all that you want it to be and even more. You deserve it

Sadly should you get back together, he is likely to repeat and repeat and repeat again the same behaviour. This is a problem in a classic 'closed' relationship as you will be expected to remain loyal whilst he spreads his seed around with great abandon.
How would he like it if you were to invite him to join your 'stud' of lovers? Effectively becoming either the appitiser, main course or dessert of your sexual and sensual fun for the week.
So unless you are ALL after an open array of sharing each other, then best left alone as more than one person will get hurt and life is too short to recover from.

block him and be done. NEXT! You are worth soooo much more.

He sounds like a narcissist. He is trying to manipulate both of you for his own gain. People like that have no empathy for others' emotions. Nothing good will come of his behavior, and I hope he reaps the consequences! You deserve much better!

Hopefully it is her and she will email you back .

No matter how strong the attraction is between two people, if one is player and the other is a "one at a time" kind of person, it's not a good idea to pursue it or rekindle.

Those are my thoughts.

I was in a similar situation years ago. Once the player chose the other woman to be with rather than me, that was the end of my short involvement with him. I wasn't going to go backward - only forward.

After that other woman spent all his money and then dumped him, he started calling me again. Nope! Not going backward just because he made a bad choice. I'm sure it was good for him while it lasted, but it's not an option to come back to me.

Funny twist to that story was that the other woman had just broken up with the fellow who was to be my next boyfriend (my most current ex-boyfriend) and that's a whole other story of overcoming lying, cheating, and choices. (Small island - few dating options.)

For me, I don't see the point in tolerating a return to a relationship after a choice has been made to be with someone else instead. The relationship won't be the same knowing how easily he could be distracted into another relationship without any thoughts about the current one he's with.

It's one thing if it's out in the open and something everyone agrees on, but when the guy is the only one who knows what he's doing and the women are kept in the dark, the guy can't be trusted. Good sex requires trust, in my opinion. (For those of us who like honesty and honor.)

Regarding reaching out to the other woman, if you are out of the relationship, it's not your problem anymore, so I suggest leaving it alone.

Good riddance you are awesome

I don't believe in a moral right or wrong either, but I do believe in a "what works and what doesn't work" value system . Lying or cheating on someone doesn't work and it's unfair. We all deserve to have the information we need to make informed decisions about our lives and concealing info (an affair) is grossly unfair to the one on the outer. I think you dodged a bullet when he didn't choose you.

Your intuition is spot on. This guy is selfish and lacks a conscience. Trusting him, at any point, would be self-destructive. I pity his girlfriend. She may not have a clue.

No right and wrong in a moralistic sense in adult relationships. That is easy to translate into "anything goes" and "if it feels good do it." I think more men are into that train of thought than women.

He dumped you for somebody 1,000 miles away.... WTF ???
I need to sleep on that one. ...to figure out some way to understand this

Block him after you tell him, never going to get it.

JFC!!
What a dickhead.

Something tells me he is not for you.Well actually as you put it he did.