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Age & Romance: How Low (or High) will you go?

For a romantic relationship, does age matter to you?
If so, how far up or down is your limit?

Note: Hey you! You know who you are... the one waiting to make a smart remark...I mean within LEGAL range, of course. : P

How much does age matter in a relationship?

  • 27 votes
  • 18 votes
  • 41 votes
  • 7 votes
silvereyes 8 Dec 3
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48 comments

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18

I tend to dismiss interest from guys who are in their early twenties. 10 years younger than me just isn't gonna be a fit. That's not to say if I met the right person, it would be an issue. Just that I'm doubtful that would be the case. As far as older, I'm open to what anyone has to offer. I genuinely am looking for a maturity level to match or exceed mine. Age doesn't always represent maturity.

You can say that again! I am 47 and last year I was looking around my living room. I had just bought a new to me home and I decided to go buy a new living room suite. After a couple of weeks of not buying furniture I sat myself down for a serious talk. Later that evening I went to guitar center for a couple of new cables. I set the living room back up as a rehearsal room/ recording studio. I came to the conclusion that I was never going to grow up. I did all the things I was supposed to like a responsible adult. I raised two daughters who are the finest people on the planet. I just refuse to stop living and dreaming. I won't be dull, uninteresting, uninterested slave to routine. I just dropped out of work and enrolled in college after a 23 year break to get my mind right. Quit the day job and playing guitar and singing to pay the bills. I am having a midlife renewal. I highly recommend it

Thanks, SKDeitch. And yes, my most recent was a 23 year old. Lol

12

I agree with a lot of what @sassygirl3869 said.

I find it very difficult to make any generalizations. I'm currently in a relationship with someone who's 20 years younger but I chafe when people say things like "She likes them young" or when I dated black guys it was "She likes them dark" and so on. Interestingly, no one has said, "She likes them nonreligious"!

I think it all comes down to chemistry which can sometimes be determined in a few minutes, sometimes a few hours, but age doesn't come into it for me. For a while after my husband's death I wouldn't consider an older man because I didn't want to go through the loss again anytime soon but I got past that. It is what it is.

"Ooh, girl, you like them young, dark heathens! Hot!" 😛 j/k

9

OK I voted that age is flexible. My last relationship was with someone who is 25 years younger than me. He was a college professor teaching political science at Tufts outside Boston. He recently remarried his first and only wife and eight year old daughter. We are still friends on FB. I have always had more in common-like heavy metal music and grunge music -with guys 10 years younger than me. Plus my ex-husband was a drummer in a heavy metal band that was supposed to be the new opening act for Aerosmith 23 years ago. I am now meeting people around my age but I had my second daughter at 42-have no nieces/nephews/grandchildren and never will. Age to me is irrelevant-common interests and compatability take precedent.

Alice in Chains, Nirvana, Nickleback

Check out Govt Mule if you are not familiar. Warren Haynes is an incredible rock guitar player, one of the best vocalists ever. Soulful blues R&B voice and an unbelievable song writer.

I don't think in terms of years. Women in their twenties are nice to look at but she would have to be as unique and different from her peers as I was at that age. That is why I hesitate to put a number on it. I don't even speak the language of many of the young people I hear. I find many to be so unenlightened and entitled that I refuse to be in a room with them. Bed is out of the question. I am going to Auburn University in the fall to finally finish my BA and hopefully continue for my masters degree. I am certainly not expecting to meet a woman unless she is on staff but when I was in college the first time I was nothing similar in any way to the average student. Who knows? If there is a woman out there with an I Q closer to 200 than 100 a warped, sarcastic, bright sense of humor, a confident creative sweet, affectionate, music loving (real music) with a face of Helen of Troy with one hell of a tan the body of Venus skin like a vat of Hershey's dark chocolate, an active sex drive and skills of a porn star acquired without the exxxxxxxxperience the film girls have.
Well if I meet her If she is at least 30. Said I wouldn't put a number on it but I couldn't imagine introducing my daughters to someone almost their age

8

It depends on the maturity level of the individual, but as a 51 year old, I'd consider myself robbing the cradle if I was getting with anyone younger than 25. Younger than 18 and I'd turn myself in to the police for being a disgusting pervert.

5

I feel like if you can be someone's parent you shouldn't date them..what could you possibly have in common? Also I have a son who's 18 and a brother that is 23..I would never go out with someone younger than say 25..and even then it all depends..maturity..and all...but for older I'd possibly go out with someone no older than 50..and even then it would depend...attraction has very little to do with age...

5

i voted 'flexible', but the men i have dated were all older than me.

5

maturity is all that matters I guess

5

I like what I always have liked apart from the very young legal ages really. its to do with chemistry and many factors but age isn't really one of them

5

For me, age is a major factor but I also try to allow for flexibility. @resserts math is too complicated. Guess I go with those wickedly erratic emotional vibrations the most.

5

No smartass remarks?! You're no fun. (I don't generally joke about underage relationships — low-hanging fruit.)

Lower limit >= (my age / 2) + 7

Upper limit <= (my age * 1.5) - 7

Okay, I still went with a smartass response. 😛

I don't really care about age, but shared perspectives and stage-of-life goals are somewhat important. I think, at 40 myself, I'd have difficulty relating to anyone younger than ~30 or older than ~55. Those are just rough estimates and every person deserves to be treated as an individual and not be judged based on some nebulous demographic group.

5

I take each case as it comes. Attraction is rare for me, so a strict age cut off could guarantee being on my own for life (there are worse things, of course). I tend to be drawn to younger, vibrant men, but find that too young feels creepy and sets up for one way conversations. MUCH older and I worry about a second round of widowhood (no guarantees either way, I suppose). Generally, I seek within ten years of my age. If I feel drawn, I'll give it a try and see how it goes. Authentic connection can be preciously rare.

Zster Level 8 Dec 3, 2017
5

I'd say +/- 2 years is where I'm comfortable.

5

I probably wouldn't date someone drastically older than myself and I wouldn't date anyone under the age of 18.

4

I think it is more important to find common interests and values than it is to be of the wame age. However, I also find that most persons who have the same interests and values are usually generally around the same age It stands to reason that those who grew up in and were shaped by the same things and in the same general tiem periods would share the most common interests and values.

NOTE. That is a generalization. There are always axceptions

I think the general idea is who you gravitate toward, and for a lot of us it's exactly that idea that age and compatible interests are related. When I was 20 I had no interest in dating someone 48, now that seems just fine — and, by contrast, dating a 20-year-old woman now seems like one of the circles of Hell. So if I were looking to date, I wouldn't be hanging around college campuses anymore. That's not to say that there aren't some perfectly mature 20-year-olds, but I wouldn't waste time looking for that needle in a haystack.

4

Most of the men I dated in my 20's are either dead or in their 80's. My last boyfriend was 11yrs younger than me. As for now..... I put a limit on dating someone the same age or younger than my oldest son (he's 39 at the moment)

With that said, I still prefer older men, but as we all know age is a number. A person whose physical age is 65 can act immature whereas a person whose physical age is 30 can be mature.

3

It is just a number. As predominantly sapiosexual person it is intellect that matters and time has taught me that it has nothing to do with age.

2

That's a really tough call. I was married to a woman 6 1/2 years older than me and gave zero fucks that she was older. What I cared about was the fact that my interests tend to be less 'grown up', I guess. I'm the first generation of kids to truly grow up with video games (I'm playing World of Tanks as i write this), i love cartoons and anime, but in not indiscriminate in my tastes. I reenact because it legitimizes my desire to play dress up... I go to cons because everyone else there loves it, too. I love role-playing games (the hardcore, paper and dice ones where the better an actor you are, the better the game will be). Basically, I'm a big nerd, and women seem to outgrow nerdiness... at least, in my experience they do, so finding a woman who has the same love of these things but isn't a vapid, insipid child who makes my brain turn liquid and run out of my ears after five minutes of intellect-dulling chatter is pretty hard. Find me someone who can fit that bill, plus is attractive to me... Lol, I imagine I'm gonna spend a lot of time in the friend zone. But, as I frequently say these days, to quote Dr Who- That's the problem with hope... It's hard to resist

@silvereyes holy shit that's AWESOME! Grannies that old almost NEVER game!

Also, DUDE, do you own sled dogs?!

@silvereyes Booooo! Lol. But that's really cool that you got to do that. Working dogs love working!

2

I tend to date in the 29-41 range. My youngest recent girlfriend was 29, but I think that's the only person under 30 I'll ever date again, tbh.

2

As the saying goes.... 'age is mind over matter. If you don't mind... it don't matter."

My wife is 18 years younger than me. We've been together 14 years and married for 9.

2

5 years younger and 3 years older.

I grew up in Indian culture. So more than 3 years old we consider as elders. Its hard not to consider them elder.

:/

2

Legal age is non-negotiable. Chronological age, experiential age, intellectual age are all just factors that carry different weights. Intuitive age is more intangible, but is a key factor in balancing out the other three.

2

Wow. Glad I found this thread! Been thinking about this a lot. I really must not get into anything long term right now since I am currently extricating myself from a 27+year marriage/relationship. I guess that means I could be with someone younger if it's short-term/a hook-up. What age that is I really don't know. At least 25? I also want to explore and be open to new sexual experiences. Wouldn't most women my age want something long term? Or am I making false assumptions? I guess eventually I will want something long term and then I would hope to find a woman at least 40-65. Kept trying to think of something clever... Epic fail!

1

I tend to be most comfortable with those within 10 years either way of my own age. I have dated a man in his 70's when I was in my 40's but he was an amazing man in peak physical shape. I'm not saying that I wouldn't date more than 10 years younger, but it would have to be a very special man.

1

My first wife was exactly my age. Several people I've been dating just before I met her were about 10 years older. I was divorced in my early forties and on the online profiles my criteria was plus or minus five years. My second wife, who died 5 years ago of cancer, was five years older than me. I haven't dated much since then, but in the few times I've attempted I have looked for women around my own age. A younger friend said I should open up my horizons and look for women as young as 35. I'm 59 right now and I'm not sure I'd be comfortable dating somebody who's the same age as my kids. But for the right person and it the right situation I think I might consider it. However that is not where I typically look. Age can be just a number, but experiences, Outlook, expectations, and maturity certainly figure in to the equation.

1

I don't think I could relate to anyone TOO much younger than me. I've been approached by a fair number of guys who were younger than my daughter, which is a major NOPE. I like to date people who can relate to where I'm at in life - my kid is grown, out of the house, and has a child of her own. People who are still parenting just have different priorities than I do. I have generally tended to date men who are older than me by 10-12 years.

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