“Fuck you, you fucking arsehole cunt”. Or similar.

"I don't see how you could have fucked this harder into the ground if you had done it on purpose."

If there is a god, I stand in awe of his/her ability to bungle what should have been simple.

I would suggest an anger management class and some specific treatment (or meds) for narcicism. AFter all, who is more self-absorbed than a mythic God?

Where were you when I lost my keys?

On a more serious note I imagine an interesting discussion of morality before determining how I feel about it. How does it justify none intervention in rape, or is it incapable of intervening? Is it responsible for any of the atrocities claimed to be it's actions?

I'd hope that I have the will to standby my moral convictions in the face of a potentially all powerful asshole. Though it is hard to predict an emotional response in such a situation. I may weakly cave to fear. (hope not)

"Well someone screwed this up!!!"

Well i bet you are as surprised as i am hah?

I would says ," you know how my mind works, since you made me.I funktioned the way you made me, therefore there is no heaven or hell for me."

Sup...

A rather ridiculous question for this site especially and to assume it is a he?

I would say"Oops...my bad... you've done a pretty horrific job at this... would you like some help? And some wine?

Stephen Fry's answer is an excellent response that I feel should be directed to the heralded 'God' of Christianity and Judaism. And for very obvious reasoning as provided by Fry; how do you possibly reconcile with the deaths of innocent children via cancer and other diseases? Relinquishing a belief in God, as Fry says, banish Him from your mind, then you're life gets more simpler and easier. The 'God' of the Judeo-Christian faith is very judgmental when the 'bible' is interpreted in literally translated manner. Such verse in scriptural texts is never meant to literally interpreted as the 'stories' provided are meant to be instruments of spiritual teaching. It's often referenced as 'spiritual jargon' meant to be hidden from the uninitiated, often referred as esoteric texts.

Well I'll be damned!

I've seen Stephen Fry answer this question. I would simply accept his existence and request passage to hell. I wouldn't want to be near anyone who has the power to stop all the atrocities in the world and choses to watch like it's a reality show or something.

It's a moot question of course because it's like asking what you'd say to the tooth fairy but if I died, I can't say anything or percieve a conversation or eternity because souls are also a myth. Sentencing someone with a no longer functioning brain or central nervous system to a eneternity of torture is like beating a dead horse. But hypothetically I'd explain that he is a buffoon for designing a food chain where every creature must decide between murder in horrific ways in order to eat to survive or choose starvation. A world it knew that 20,000 children die daily for lack of nutrition. Where a god that can do anything would be smart enough to have all life survive on sunlight or no sustenance at all. But as I said, an omnipotent god would already know this and provide the answer before asking. It would provide it now.

'You've got a whole lot of explaining to do! I'm glad I've now got Eternity to hear it because I bet it'll take at least half of that time to convince me.'

'On second thought, nevermind; listening to excuses for Eternity sounds like Hell already.'

I would be in shock being no proof of existence. Is this a dream or nightmare?

Sup G, aye where’s the white women at? But no seriously are you omnipotent or not? If so, what you allowed to go on in my life and most everyone else’s was supremely fucked up. What do you have to say for yourself? You’re certainly not good, let alone made of love. If you do seem to embody love then your power must be severely limited and your message was poorly communicated to say the least huh? In which case I forgive you, I know us humans could fuck up a wet dream when left to our own interpretive devices. But if you claim to be the old school, in-control god of the Bible and fear of your assholery is a prerequisite to entering heaven, lets cut to the chase: I’m not interested. You’ve already done your worst to me and I’m still standing. Either send me to hell or point me to the nearest bale of weed cause I can’t look at your shame peddling, flesh torturing ass right now.

Are you really one of us?

I'd probably spit in it's eye and take a big swing at it, and commence to cussing it out for being such a piece of shit.
Then I'd be asking a lot of questions. Starting with "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

But since god isn't real, and when you're dead, that's it, it's all a moot point.

you are a complete C$%T

Yo Bro - where you been ??

So deep down you still keep the door open for this possibility....... I don't, there is nothing to speculate here

Hello you, now I can believe in your existence. If it's too late for you, what can I do? I was following my mind with reasons that you have helped created.

Lots of really nasty things that any parent who abandoned their child should expect to hear.

Uh oh. LOL