Quite some time ago in my younger years I use to regularly attend meetings at the local Open Brethren Gospel Hall. Both the morning meetings and the evening ones on Sunday. My reason for actually going was because most of my friends (associates) went there. But I did try to come to terms with the faith that was being preached there by the elder brothers (lay preachers). The problem was I had already learnt to think for myself and to question just about everything.One time I vividly remember a moment of epiphany that I had at one of those meetings. It was a Sunday morning meeting where the 'feast of the breaking of bread and the drinking of wine' was performed. After the meeting I went outside to go home when it hit me. I just happened to look up and there was this most beautiful blue sky with lovely broken cumulous clouds all over. It seemed as if the sky was more bluer than usual. The thought came to me as to how very curious was the goings on inside the Gospel Hall and here out side I was looking up at a most spectacular sight. It was the immensity of it all and how small it made the little God concept that was being talked (preached ) about during the meeting. The question arose in my mind . What is the connection here? My moment of epiphany is difficult to explain but the feeling stayed with me for some time.My conclusion is that the God of Christianity and any other religion is just too small to have any meaning when compared to the immensity of the world and Universe around us.

I tried all my life. There was always something inside me saying "these people have to be faking" when I would see them shout in church, and other craziness. It just never worked for me, and now that I no longer try, I feel like I can see it for what it is.

no, I have wished I could believe to save my mind after too many drugs, drinks and mental problems like some others do but it just doesn't add up at all. our minds can be our greatest enemy but it doesn't mean religion can save me.

I was relig-curious when I was younger. I made my mother take me to a catholic service one Sunday just to see what it was like. Everything was going ok until the priest came down the aisle in a frock (of course) and waving an incense burner which was billowing smoke. My mother stage-whispered "Oh no! His handbag's on fire!". After a fit of giggles, I realised that my open-minded, non-religious, beautiful and intelligent mother was all the education I needed in realising what was important in life.

Yes. The contradictions eat away at me causing me to disbelieve.

I never tried to believe. I was reared with religion (dogmatic Catholicism) and, during my college years, I gradually stopped believing, and within that period I was looking for something else to replace what I'd "lost" (not realizing I was actually gaining something in the process), and within a couple of years I concluded there was nothing left for me in religion. It wasn't a pleasant experience to rip that upbringing from myself, but I've never been sorry it happened. I'd much rather have a realistic view of the world than to persist in ignorance and unsubstantiated claims.

I won't step a foot into a church now. I'll burn. Lol. The music irritates me too.

Every time when I was a child. Our babysitter took us to church. We would go to youth group and they would tell us the typical bible stories. Even at an early cognitive developmental stage, I found myself saying, “Yeah, that stuff didn’t really happen...”

Same as a teen I tried to get into it like it was a hobby or something but I always found it annoying and full of bs.

yes...I struggled with it for years. It's like people try to teach you that 2 + 2 =3 and you just know that can't be right.

I recall many times I wished I could believe thinking it would be comforting at that difficult time

You are the type of human humanity needs more of, and the conclusions you’ve described ..are like ‘adult music’ to my ears...

I’ve ‘given god a chance,’ the ghost of Jesus, too… But nothing.. I’ve attended as few church events as possible, though also found what you’ve described. In fact, it was scary - assuming (if they knew what I was thinking) simple words from their ‘leader’ could likely turn the entire flock on me… But any time I’ve given (any) god an opportunity to influence me - I’ve walked away wanting to kick myself in the butt for having been so stupid. So I’ve tried, but no one’s home.

I once tried attending a Unitarian Universalist Church to appease my boyfriend who had once studied for the priesthood. I should also mention he was once abused by a priest. My handicapped daughter was welcomed and the congregation made special arrangements for her and her wheelchair. I almost felt obligated to believe in something. Alas I ended the controlling relationship in a year and never returned to the church.

I tried for years to believe. It just doesn't make sense.

I stoped trying when everyone that tried to convert me fail and switched to trying to make me believe in devil

I've made an effort to. A few times at least. To be perfectly honest, it must feel great to think there's some powerful being with a personal interest in your happiness and well-being. But no, I can't seem to do it. It would require me to change the way I think and evaluate things entirely. I think it would take something truly extraordinary to make me take up faith now.

Yeah, I don't have that thing....whatever it is....it might have started out as just authority issues. But I just can't. I can appreciate some of the philosophies, but holy water, communion, dunking heads, I mean, Jesus told people to eat him....I think that was misinterpreted...hehe...."I'm gonna get WHAT???!!!! And you bastards are just gonna watch? YOU CAN JUST EAT ME!!!" "So what you're saying, Mr. Christ, is eat of my flesh eat of my blood....? Yeah, we'll just go with that."

No just never did.

I suggest you stop trying so hard. If you're going to end up religious, it's not going to be because you've tried hard. As for the church music, I couldn't agree more. There is some truly magnificent church music out there, but most people never hear it. Music was the only thing I DID like about church!

I've as well tried to believe, at many cross roads of my life and it seems that believing in a God didn't change the outcome. And as for reading the Bible and comparing it to a fairytale type read, I feel is very much accurate,

I grew up religious, and I believed until my study of "the faith" started finding too many flaws. At that point I was "trying" to believe. I didn't want to let go of the belief system I'd grown up with, didn't want to apostasize, because I was fearful of what would happen to me in the afterlife were I wrong. And I was fearful of the hurt my leaving would bring my family. But once the curtain has been pulled away, you can't make yourself believe.

I was a believer as I was taught to be. I did not try to believe until I was in the process of shedding my beliefs. I did not plan to become an atheist; but once my mind was opened--there was no going back. And, now, of course, I have no desire to believe in a god...especially the god I used to believe existed.

Yes, but I could never get It to take....

What did Freud say about religion?? Something like it played into our fears about not having a father to take care of us?? I may have to go look it up, again.