I know what you mean.

I'm the youngest of three brothers. I get along with the oldest because he's generally laid-back, even if he is stubborn and opinionated (nothing too harsh; it's not like he watches Info Wars). The middle one, though, is a condescending control freak with a very narrow idea of what 'normal' is. He's also an atheist, but since he hit puberty (he's 38 now), he's been a domineering, rude, belligerent asshole. He did the business school at a Big Ten party school and married his high school girlfriend, who became a school teacher and is now a stay at home mom. Their lives are as suburban as can be. I've TRIED for years--since the '90s--to calm him down, establish peace, some humor.....but he's still a condescending asshole.

A little over a year ago, I decided to stop talking to him. Everyone else in my family thinks I'M the bad guy, though. I've never insulted him or called him weird, but he'll greet me with "Jesus, you smell! When's the last time you showered?" (fyi, I showered and shaved before going to his house). He calls it constructive criticism, and my dad goes along with it because he doesn't want to admit his second son is an asshole. They're cut from the same cloth, anyhow.

It's even worse because he and my dad would constantly talk smack about my oldest brother and his wife. And even THEY are on his side!

My hypothesis is because he has the family and I don't, I have to enable him or I'm the bad guy.

Ravenwolfcasey, I do sympathize. I'm sorry you're in a shitty situation. I hope you get to a better place some day.

move on. you can't choose your family but you can choose your friends.

I have never had issues like this. From what you said, you seem to be a good person and don't need this in you life anymore. Maybe you do need to distance yourself. There are people you can trust and give you support. We are not all bad. I wish you a better life. You can do it.

Sounds like you need a little space between yourself and them. Of course I don't know your circumstances, but if possible, some distance would help.

I’m not the black sheep, but I have a brother who is known nationally to those who like baseball. He is kind of a dick, but those who don’t really know him are sometimes star struck by him. I find it funny but at times a little annoying.

I am sorry that you have experienced that. Every person, including children should be treated with full dignity and respect.

I was a black sheep in one sense, but not in another. As an independent adult, I moved away from my family's religious, social, and political beliefs, and my father did not agree or approve. But, my educational and professional accomplishments were sufficient to earn his respect-- by the time he died, I had accomplished far more than he had in his entire life.

One of my first cousins and I are the two agnostics/atheists and political liberals in the entire family on both sides. But, we are grudgingly tolerated because we both are caring people and accomplished people.

My advise is to be you and it will pay off. It can be hard because we cherish the opinions of those we love, but find out to quickly how much their love means if we don;t fit inside their box. Never, and I mean never, put your living situation in danger. Get to a point to where you can sustain yourself on your own, and then be yourself. To an imaginary hell with everyone else. You are the God of your own Universe.

Sounds like a very toxic environment. I recommend you get out of there. You are being held back and letting someone tap all your strength from you. After a while you may convince yourself it's all true. You need to learn what you want and who you are. This is my opinion, but be yourself and don't look back. you don't need that B.S in your life.

Yes! I just learned to make my own life worth living and find purpose to my own life, but I know things can be complicated. I have family like this, too, but from what you posted, you actually sound like a great person and it is their loss.

Yeah. I got a brother who's a real piece of work, and she's bought him cars and shit, meanwhile I can't borrow money when I'm short on bills. It hurts to think she prefers that shitbird.

I am the blackest of the black sheep of the family. Which is rather surprising, since we have serious convicts, dishonorable discharges, and worse in our family. I guess I am the unknown factor. Like it is worse to not know what someone is doing and let your imagination run rampant. Sounds like you need some separation.