Today I met a woman who told me that she was incredibly lonely. She is attractive and very well presented, has hobbies and is financially independent. She badly wants to meet someone whom she can share her life with. After talking to her for a while I don't think there will be much chance of her attaining that. She is emitting an aura of "desperation". How does one tell someone to take a step back and enjoy what they have.
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The short answer to your question is "with difficulty".
The longer answer may go something like this: look for what unmet needs lie deep within herself (finding them may need a skilled psychologist) and then start devising ways of meeting those unmet needs.
anglophone
Level 9
Aug 11, 2022
1
I'm of the opinion that one can attract a healthier relationship by first being happy on your own, so that you don't NEED a relationship, but open to a relationship enhancing your current happiness. That already happy persona often is attractive to other happy people.
It's good to ask the question, is this person someone who would drain me of happiness or add to it? If the answer that you are better off alone than with someone who keeps you company but makes your life miserable... well then just keep being happy on your own, and wait for the next one to come along who might be a better fit.
I agree that being desperate to be in a relationship can attract a narcissist to take advantage of the situation. Been there done that.
If I ever decide to be open to a relationship, it would have to make me happier than I am on my own. So, two equals who create more happiness together, than either could have separately. It can happen, I see it every day!
First enjoy what you have and focus on the positives of being on your own. Do the best you can on your own, hire out what you can't do, make platonic friends who enjoy the same things you do, and go out and be seen enjoying yourself, and someone who enjoys the same things might be interested in getting to know you better.
Not sure if this is true, but seems like happiness attracts happy people, desperation attracts desperate people.
Julie808
Level 8
Aug 11, 2022
8
Tell her to appreciate what she has. Over 400 people/day are dying of COVID-19 in America. The pandemic is no time to be kissing strangers.
I'm concerned that bad men will prey on her.
She needs to mediate, exercise and work on building her self-esteem.
LiterateHiker
Level 9
Aug 11, 2022
2
A kiss is just a kiss.
Conversation, laughter, shared activities and challenges helps develop understanding of each other.
But some people (especially men) are emotionally constipated.
"I couldn't fill 10 minutes with personal insights at gunpoint," a maxiofacial surgeon told me. I laughed. But he was right.
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