I'm pretty sure there are times when being able to step back and look at my life objectively has saved my ass. It's useful to be able to make decisions that aren't influenced by emotion, but I wouldn't choose to live my whole life like I were watching a movie about it.

I think what you are referring to is emotional intelligence. The ego, the self and the higher self are levels of consciousness. Most survivalist, people struggling for emotional support or love using live in the ego, driven by their adrenal system. Then you have the self serving materialist, who still struggle for food, shelter or what have you, who live in the self, and can sometimes downgrade their consciousness to simply reacting to their emotions and sometimes can elevate their consciousness to their higher self. You seem to live in the higher self of consciousness which relates stability in your upbringing or sometimes even more empowering, stability that you've created. Sounds like you got things under control brother. Keep doing you.

I certainly feel like this sometimes - as if I am watching a performance with me as one of the actors. Maybe it happens to everyone who is an independent thinker? If we keep questioning everything then maybe we start to question our own existence too. It seems to be quite common to have conversations inside your head as if you were watching from outside.

Damn.... i sometimes felt that way too. Is it being bored? Giving up? Saying it is what it is? I suppose i should be grateful and get my head out of my ass. Get off my ass and explore more new things to do.

Nope, you're speaking Greek to me buddy

Have you ‘searched the symptoms’ online..? And do you feel it’s messing up your life? We all appear to settle into behaviors people generally accept or ignore. It’s only when someone begins to operate outside ‘their norm’ that others seem to notice.. But I appreciate that, it’s like a behavioral breath of fresh air

Personally, if I’m not being spontaneous, I’ll often trip over my thoughts & delivery.. But I notice so many folks giving ‘canned responses’ that I can’t follow their sentences to the end ... it’s like they’re mimicking a movie.

I’ll sometimes live in my head ..and it appears to get worse living alone. And laughing at personal behavior seems normal. Most people have animal pets they’ll ‘view their behavior’ through the eyes of ..with the animals ‘intruperating their thoughts’ as well… I’m not there, yet. From what you post around here, you’d likely be more interesting than most to hang ..ten with

This piece of my art is basically the same concept. who is the one behind the fence?

Sounds like you have EDD
[betterhelp.com]

Damn man I feel like you pull that from inside my head. Except the surfing part. Every thing else dead on.

on second thought it is clear that god has given you this gift. b/c she lubs you

Now that you made me think about it, I suppose that happens sometimes, to some degree.
To stop it I would recommend an activity that takes all of one's attention...like surfing!
So I don't know. In social settings I would like to have a half second delay to concoct the best course.

Not that I recall. My script writer is always at least two hours behind me - saying 'you numbskull why didnt you say/do/react this way...' forehead smack.

My first thought was to be flippant and ask " why do women have to hold a gun to your head whist making love? " but that would be shallow.
My second thoughts are this is why I do pot and alcohol. It frees the mind from constraints. Most of my creative writing has come from times like this. If not in the moment , then in the moment or the place remembered. I cast my mind back to a table tennis game over 40 years ago. The ball had hit the edge of the table, near the net. Without any form of conscious thought I returned a perfect cross court backhand from bellow the table level. It may not sound too wonderful as I relate it but I was in what athletes call " the zone. " Where there is no thought, only perfect action. A zen experience.
I lived with a lady for 15 years who seemed to have no filter on what she said. especially when in drink. Some form of ozmosis must have occured because I can now enjoy the moment more and though I still second guess myself sometimes. I can just be and dance as if no one is watching. Which is why I included my first thought.

I used to have that, but it was from being androgyne and a partial transmale. Taking derris scandens, a Thai herb, blended my two gender modes so that now I feel like only one person.

No more detachment except when I'm meditating, which is a lot.