my dad explained to me why he never hit us, in his words, 'if hitting people made them listen, we wouldn't talk, we'd all be beating the shit out of eachother'

I was abused verbally and physically by my step father every chance he got he would dig his finger nails in to the pit of my forearm. To teach me to read he would sit in his bed in his underwear and if I missed a word he would pull the hair on the back of my neck. He would constantly tell me I was restarted. If he would find something broken he would threaten to whip with his belt until I admitted to being the culprit even though I was not. I spent eons of sleepless nights thinking On how to escape from him when I was 14 he punched me breaking my nose. I wanted to kill the bastard. At 16 I had worked out in sports and karate rode my bike I was in shape. One day I had a basketball practice to go to be intended to make me miss it by trying to force me to do a menial task. I refused he grabbed me by the neck and threatened to throw me through a plate glass window. So I stood up straight I said you can let me go of i can kill you of course the coward backed down because he could no longer control me. I am a single father and I refuse to spank my kids violence is no a way to teach a kid to obey if you show them what they did wrong show them what the negative results are and how to avoid making the mistake again it might take several practice runs but the will get it. As for time out to show them how to runaway from a problem time out will do just that. If they misbehave I make them run the perimeter of our house. Most times just the threat of that is enough to get their attention. People that meet my kids say they are so well behaved and have manners, they are not that way of because of corporal punishment, they are that way because I know first hand corporal punishment is not effective.

I got the belt from the old man as a child, it had a negative impact on me in that over time it caused me to generally not like him much.

As a parent, I only gave mine an open-handed tap if they were really acting up, but usually, a stern warning was enough to mellow them out.

I don't endorse it, I don't think it will ever have a positive effect. Someone bigger than you hitting you doesn't invoke respect, it invokes fear.

I was spanked as a child, maybe a handful of times with a belt. I definitely remember being very fearful about it as a child, and the fear of being spanked definitely curbed by behavior, but that's not necessarily a good thing. I think that a parent's role is to model proper behavior and responses, and violence is not behavior that should be be made to seem OK. We expect children to grow into levelheaded and reasonable adults, so we should model that character ourselves. Regardless of whether or not someone thinks that spanking did not negatively impact them personally, anecdotal evidence is not a replacement good research and statistics.

Corporal punishment, in my estimation, should only be reserved for life-threatening behavior that requires swift correction. Accompanied by a calm explanation and even an apology.

I was spanked, yes, but not often. I don't have a sense that it hurt me in any way, but really it was quite mild compared to what many experienced. I was also a natural rule follower for the most part.

We spanked our children occasionally when they were young, under 8 or so, though I grew more uncomfortable with that with my 2nd and 3rd kids. It became something of a point of contention between my wife and me as she felt more in favor of corporal punishment than I was and also felt its application should be the father's responsibility primarily. I wouldn't use corporal punishment at all now if I had that to do over again.

Other methods that were most effective for us generally involved creating "natural consequences" for behaviors. Respond to the misbehavior directly, without judgment on why the child did it. As they got older, we had deeper conversations that were often really productive. My youngest is 15 now, so it has been awhile since I've had to deal with children too young to really talk through things with.

If your primary goal is blind obedience absent of autonomy, self-confidence, and independence, then you should spank your kids. If you value these other attributes, authoritative parenting is where rules and limits are set along with nurturing warmth. Children need to know WHY there are rules and that there are consequences to certain behaviors— which should not be violent.

I lied earlier. I did have to punish the boys on occasion. I liked the holding the coin on the wall thing. Extra chores, or just above age appropriate school work

I don't think corporal punishment is a useful tool. To my mind it would only tend to perpetuate violence by justifying its use as a problem solver. Yes, I was spanked as a child -- and much worse -- and it had a negative effect on me until I gained enough understanding to realize that because he was abusive was not a reasonable excuse for me to do the same. That it was his behavior and his problem and I didn't need to own it.

I can say that I have never used any form of physical or psychological force with my children -- four of them -- and I am delighted with the people they've turned out to be. I don't agree with all their life decisions over the years, but those are theirs to make. They're all of fine character and successful at the art of living good lives.

I remember the first time I heard that parents should not hit their kids out of anger, I thought, Why else would he hit me? Five kids can be frustrating. When frustration wore him thin, he lashed out.
We kids also fought amongst ourselves. Whether this was learned behavior or not, I don't know. I only experienced the one childhood.
I have just one child and he has never been struck by me, or anyone else I know of. He doesn't really act out or get in trouble. I've only yelled at him once or twice and explained myself or apologized immediately afterwards, ("The coffee you spilled on me was hot!" ).
Big families are often too much. Parents probably shouldn't be outnumbered.

Damn, you ask some tough questions. I read the article and agree, but I see a lot of kids out there running riot on their parents. Corporal punishment was used on me and I was a angry young man and did get into a lot of fights. I must add that I joined the Army Reserves at the age of 17, and reprogrammed to defend myself. I will say that I never abused my significant other though. I did use corporal punishment on my kids, This was back in the eighties when I was considered normal. If I had a chance for a do over I find another way to handle it. lol, hind sight is 20/20.

I may be the only one here but I did spank my daughter twice. Once when she tried to take the keys out of the ignition when her mother was driving and another time at head start when she did something that I can’t even remember now. I was also spanked a couple of times as a child. I don’t think it had a negative impact on me and I don’t think spanking my child had a negative impact on her. I got spanked in school for reasons that I didn’t feel were justified and that did always bother me. My philosophy on the matter is that it needs to be something pretty drastic and never do it in anger. My wife remembers things too long and doesn’t forgive very easily. My daughter said repeatedly that she would sooner get a whooping from Dad than get nagged by Mom.

I know a lot of parents that used corporal punishment frequently. I don’t agree with that, but I still think for major infractions I would do it again. I certainly don’t see any adverse effects on my daughter as she is about the most tender-hearted young lady that anyone could wish for but at the same time she stands her ground when she thinks she’s right. I told her as she got a few years older that if she thought I was wrong, just tell me, and we would discuss the matter. As it turns out she’s right more than me.

The same way that I view control through fear and guilt, as being a negative and harmful philosophy. I view corporal punishment, with trying to control through fear, guilt, and pain. It's negative, harmful, and wrong.

Soooo...short answers then.

I was spanked as a child. We would have to go and pick our own switch. My mother was 4'11" and the single mother to 8 kids tho so I completely understand.

I haven't been able to spend as much time with my own children to know much, but I have had both of them and I swatted one of them once.

Like I said I've never been able to be the father I want to be, but when I was with them I was always able to build a relationship where they would do what they were told.

I haven't seen either of them as teenagers tho.

Was occasionlay smacked (UK version of spanked) as a child,I hated it,I think it was the ignomy of it,

Nver smacked my daughter, its the worst thing you can do ,to inflict that feeling of shame on a child. Plenty effective other ways to punish a child,but it has to be balanced and fair.

I was spanked maybe twice in my whole life, minor and don't recall it hurting except for my feelings when little, the 2nd time I was too old for it and laughed
Only spanked my kid once for zooming away from me in a parking lot.
I've always had great luck with giving her choices and things to have choices about, allowance, various "carrot rewards" and then consequences if x,y,z didn't happen, the thing she wanted would be lost or put off, cause & effect.
I think if kids have some concept of control of their circumstances and choices they're much more likely to cooperate in their best interest. Kids do have a sense of fairness. Take the time to reason.

I think. A slap on the bottom gets attention. I would rather do that then try to reason things out with a bi polar child throwing a tantrum in a store. Some children are not wired right. There's got to be a consequence for a action. Telling them a dozen times to settle down or they'll be punished is absurd. Never physically hurt a child with a belt are a switch. Just slap on that butt a couple times. Of course this stops when there 4 or 5 years old. Then you reason things out. Ok I'm a bad guy now...

I was spanked but never cruelly or unjustly. I think that has something to do with how damaging it could be.

I was never spanked. I am against corporal punishment. As are the Satanists.

The intimacies we generate in childhood famously follow us into adult hood. impossible for the a proper spank NOT to bleed over and inform sensual, dominant and submissive instincts as adults. spanking kids has far less appeal than the possibilites with grown, adult woman. then, much is possible (in my experience, anyway). want to discipline children? make 'em sit thru hours of 'charlie rose' reruns on vhs - that'll do the trick!

"Spare the rod, spoil the child" is just stupid. The best way to teach a child anything is to take the time to understand how that particular child might best understand...

the punishment should fit the crime. a smack in time saves nine.

I was rarely spanked, but it was always a very real possibility if I stepped way out of line.

I've always believed that corporal punishment should be used as an absolute last resort. And if you have to rely on corporal punishment as a parent, then you need to ask yourself where you failed so badly that you were unable to communicate to your children or effectively serve as an example.

Administration of corporal punishment is a sign of ineffective leadership skills.

I was spanked as a child and was in continual fear of my mother, but she used intimidation to manipulate people. I'm vehemently against corporal punishment except for dangerous behavior at a very young age when meaning can't be conveyed effectively. I feel like for other circumstances there are nonviolent means of disciplining, and that those methods have greater long-term value and efficacy.

I used to be opposed to spanking because of my abusive childhood. I used to think all parents that did spank were sexual deviants, but after years of therapy and analyzing this issue through an objective lens, I am a pro spanker.

My rationale is that kids DO need discipline and correction. Yes, spanking is hitting, but its not hitting in the same way as punching or kicking. Sometimes, a calculated sting on the butt is what is needed to get through to a child, as LONG AS its not something done in anger and being used as a vent for the parent. I look at today's youth and see a generation lacking due discipline, spanking or not. I believe that time-outs, loss of privileges, etc is far MORE damaging than a few swats on the butt. Punishment certainly should not be something that is dragged out, because thats exhausting for both sides.

For the longest time I objected to the statement "there's a difference between spanking and beating". I now realize that is very true. Spanking is a controlled deliverance of pain for the purpose of discipline and correction, beating is just wailing away on a child and venting anger. Now, when I look at the 50's and 60's, yes there was harsh discipline and some of it was abusive to today's standards, but at least there WAS discipline and kids didnt run their mouth or the house. Now, we have the complete opposite. And I do think today's kids could benefit from more spankings, because it appears nothing else is really working. Dont beat the child! 3 or 4 good swats with a wooden spoon on the butt can work wonders.