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"Mom, what are those black hairs sticking out of your nose?"

While driving my 13-year-old daughter somewhere, she looked at me with the disgust only a teenage girl can aim at her mother. “Mom, what are those black hairs sticking out of your nose?” I gave her a look.

“Claire, just add that to your list of taboo subjects," I replied. "You may not ask adults about getting fat, gray hairs, wrinkles, yellow teeth and now, black hairs sticking out of their nose.” I laughed. Claire rolled her eyes into the next state.

I have been waxing my nostrils ever since. That’s right: with a blob of hot wax at the end of a popsicle stick. Hot wax takes a long time to cool inside your nose. One hard yank makes my eyes water. It takes nerves of steel.

Maintenance. The indignity of getting old. “After age 30, it’s all coverup,” a friend said.

Manicures, waxing, shaving legs, weightlifting, skin exfoliation, moisturizer for face and body, sunscreen, hair color, dental floss, teeth whitening. It’s like a finger in a dike. I’m tempted to turn into a Sasquatch and melt into the mountains.

I love British author Caitlin Moran's take on the pressure to look young:

"So. Yes. We're all dying. We're all crumbling into the void, one cell at a time. We are disintegrating like sugar cubes in champagne. But only women have to pretend it isn't happening.

"Fifty-something men wander around with their guts flopped over their waistbands and their faces looking like a busted tramp's mattress in an underpass. They sprout nasal hair and chasm-like wrinkles, and go 'Ooof!' whenever they stand up or sit down.

"Men visibly age, every day -- but women are supposed to stop the decline at around 37, 38, and live out the next 30 or 40 years in some magical bubble where their hair is still shiny and chestnut, their face unlined, their lips puffy, and their tits up on the top third of the ribcage."

From "How To Be A Woman" by Caitlin Moran

What are your thoughts on personal maintenance?

LiterateHiker 9 Apr 30
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21 comments

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6

I had my first nostril and ear wax about six months ago. I'm ludicrously hirsute in the facial department - untamed, my ears could challenge a koala and I look like I sneezed my beard. The upside is that I still have a full head of hair in my mid-forties.

MrBelzeebubbles, "I look like I sneezed my beard" is marvelously witty!

@LiterateHiker Why thank you. It is also, unfortunately, entirely accurate.

4

Odd that you mention nasal hair - was thinking about this a few days ago. That nose and ear hair are my biggest whines about aging, is truly vexing -- forget prostate problems, impotence, ever stronger lenses, wheezing lungs -- it's the damn ear hair that agitates me the most.

Then there was the gal who left me because my lungs reminded her of her Mom who died of emphysema -- but still the ear hair is my fine whine. Speaking of... time for a glass of white wine!

4

As a small-boned woman, since age 22, I have been weightlifting, running, stretching and hiking to build strong bones, muscle strength and flexibility. This is important, especially as we age.

My grandmother had terrible osteoporosis. A bone density test showed my bones are strong.

they might need a good stress test ?

@markdevenish, In 2017, I set a personal record by hiking 326 miles with 62,200 feet of elevation gain (and loss). While carrying a 20-25 lb. day pack. That's enough of a stress test for me!

4

Were primates putting on airs.
If you fail to put on the air, then your shunned by society and pushed to the outside.

Part of why I like trees better than most people, no plastic airs.

4

"Sweety those hairs are the source of all my power..Now excuse my while take up the jawbone of a donkey and kill a bunch of folks"

Too funny, josh! I thought my comeback to Claire was hilarious, but you topped me.

@LiterateHiker for next time pretty lady.

4

You put a finger in a dike? I didn't notice that in your bio.
Oh wait! Different spelling.

Very funny, phil21!

3

I grab those little suckers between my thumb and index finger and pull. It always brings a tear to my eye seeing them go...

3

I try to maintain myself to the degree I'm not repulsive. Maybe don't shave everyday, hair a bit scruffier than when I was working; don't shower every...single...day. Sorry, but I just do not feel it's required since I don't work, and there are no ladies any longer even remotely interested in me. I do pluck ear and nose hair when I detect them. And I sniff the armpits of my shirts occasionally to detect any detestable scents, but alas, my sniffer ain't so good, sooo...

That said, I do exercise regularly, and eat well. I'm 6ft tall and weigh about 170, so I'm fairly trim, no beer belly or anything like that.

3

Try waxing your balls.

Hahahahaha!

Uhhh, no thanks.

ouch!!

I happen to be busy then. maybe some other time

3

TIL that hirsutism is a word. As for my thoughts: I have teenagers of my own and I've had my share of like comments. You just have to hope they don't say things like that in public.

3

Personally, I don't get the (mainly) American obsession with hair removal. We've reached a state where a woman's body being hairless is regarded as normal, and her natural state is fetishized. Drives me bonkers thinking about it.

That being said, I pluck the hair off me ears and the outside of me shnozz.

d_day Level 7 Apr 30, 2018

I will never understand the urge to look like prepubescent Barbie. Women have body hair for a reason, and some of us actually find hirsute women sexy

3

Thanks for sharing. This forum is exploding my Amazon "to read" book list BIG TIME.

Uhm, personal maintenance. There are a lot of things I miss about my "old" self, perfect B tits, thick floofy mane, chiseled jaw, but have to take consolation that I had my day, which no one can take from me, and that I've a right to go out with no makeup & a hat on my head looking 50. I clean up ok for those who matter to me. I'm firmly in camp "cute-ish" with exceptional legs. That will have to do.
I got more crap back in the day being able to stop traffic, it throws a wider net and I'm not a wider net kind of "girl". While yes looks are a form of wealth when younger felt like it was rare to have someone care what you're about underneath all the shiny shit.

The only things I do now are dye my eyebrows & try to keep my natural "ombre" in check.
I might start working out just to save my knees, which are beginning to feel the effects of age. Terrified of knee problems because that can be a one way ticket to 300lb-ville and I'd like to stay a maximum of size 14.

2

Pulling hair! Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Dylan Thomas

2

You poor girls have been sold a line by the marketers. . Eff em, be yourselves, lead by example get your daughters out of the endless cycle of product after product [ sorta reminds me of how the muslim mothers perpetuate the wearing of yards of extra material to satisfy ; who they'll never know

"Over the years, pubic hair has gone from the very least of a woman's worries- when I was 17, around the time of grunge, the idea of waxing your bikini line was bizarre, marginal, for porn models only- to a pretty routine part of 'self-care.

"And, of course, it is pornography that's costing us all this money, time, and follicular pain. If you ask the question, 'Why do 21st century women feel they have to remove their public hair?' the answer is, 'Because everybody does in porno.'"

From "How To Be A Woman" by Caitlin Moran.

@LiterateHiker I grew up in the era of pubic hair and quite a few hirsute women. Years ago prostitutes used to shave to keep down the crab population, that may be true in the porn industry also. I must say it is all good, but I still don't grasp the whole reasoning behind the prepubescent Barbie look

@zorialoki, I don't understand it, either. Without pubic hair, it looks disturbingly like a little girl's vagina.

@LiterateHiker No doubt, rather disturbing when you think about it

@LiterateHiker the same argument is made for circumcision . eff that shite

2

It's constant!

You're right.

2

Waxing nose hair? That's brave. I didn't even know people did that. Now I might have to try it instead of the little nose trimmer thing.

Thanks for saying I'm brave.

Each nostril takes three passes of waxing at different angles. It's fun to see hairs stuck in the wax. Cheap thrills.

@LiterateHiker Nice! I am easily entertained 🙂

2

Hahaha! Just let natutre take it’s course ! Much easier to ride the horse in the direction it’s going ! As for me, I have no objection to body hair anywhere on either sex , nor to wrinkles ( should I call them
Battle scars ) ..I do think there is less pressure on people to look younger in Europe than in America .. personally I prefer everything natural .. makes things easier on me too of course

1

Getting old sucks for all of us. I don't think its easier for men. It's harder to get it up in our old age..... Some wrinkled white haired fat lady just won't do that for anyone, especially us. We really need to try harder than you women to be attractive. 🙂

1

Thank goodness. For a minute I though maybe you had been snorting porcupines.

or those were spider legs dangling out

Hilarious! Love your senses of humor, zorialoki and Zippypinhead57.

1

As far a health goes, personal maintenance is a must. My barber goes to the extra steps and removes any ear hairs and I don't really have a problem with the nose hairs. With all the extra hairs someone must have extra testosterone! Sitting for too long at this site has added an extra inch to my waist (to a massive 35" ).
Have you ever tried using string to remove hair [liveabout.com]. I have some really funny stories about that one (which includes 2 massive Hells Angels type guys and my 5' 0", 100 lb, late partner).

Jack, my hair grows insanely fast, and not just on my head. Must be my Irish heritage. There's no future in investing in hair threading or waxing in a salon.

As estrogen drops after menopause, women sprout more nostril hairs. [thenakedscientists.com]

@LiterateHiker How utterly romantic??

Very funny, Jack!

@LiterateHiker Grossly funny!!! And I thought only guys were unromantic? BTW my first wife was half-Italian. She had a uni-brow and had to constantly pluck. Our very first real date was at a swimming pool center and she wore a 2 piece suite. The hairs sticking out of a part of the suite got me excited (but then I was young and goofier than now).

JackPedigo, glad you saw the humor in what I wrote. Once a week, I have a date with a flashlight and magnifying mirror.

@LiterateHiker I don't think I will answer that one. It's too risky!!!!

@JackPedigo, Very funny, Jack!

@LiterateHiker Okay, there is another communication issue here.Sometimes words can convey several messages and this is one example. I hear one thing but someone else may have another intention. Sarcasm, by it's very nature, is often subtle to the point of being missed. Please understand, I want to understand. Maybe that is a good example of using acronyms as LOL (THAT can also mean Lots of luck + or -).

1

You WAX your nose? I just pull them out as necessary. Makes me cry. I hate the random ear hair.

Once a week, I have a date with a flashlight and a magnifying mirror.

How do you see hair in your ears?

@LiterateHiker kinky!

@zorialoki it usually happens when I'm shaving. I just notice this tiny teeny fine hair on my ear. Harder than heck to grasp and pull out.

@phil21 You must more attention than i do when shaving

@zorialoki Getting harder and harder to see. I hate shaving while wearing glasses.

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