Time Magazine has a cover article this week called, "Zip it! The Power of Saying Less."
It's fascinating. I learned a lot. Triggered self-reflection.
The article is by Dan Lyons, a talkaholic who wrote the book, "STFU: The Power of Keeping Your Mouth Shut in an Endlessly Noisy World." Overtalking cost him relationships, jobs and nearly his marriage.
"It's biology," scientist Michael Beatty said. In 2010, Beatty and his colleagues discovered it is linked to brain wave imbalance.
It's about the balance between the neuron activity in the left and right lobes in the anterior region of the prefrontal cortex. Ideally, the left and right should have about the same amount of nueronal activity when a person is at rest.
If your left side is more active than the right, you are the likely to be shy. If the right side is more active, you're more likely to be talkative. A talkaholic's right lobe will fire a ton, while the left side barely flickers.
My ex-husband has verbal diarrhea. Terry thinks out loud. He talks in circles, saying the same thing in different ways. "What I hear you saying is this," I say, summarizing his point in one or two sentences. "EXACTLY!" Terry replies and he's off again.
"Do I want to spend my lifetime listening to him?" I thought. The answer is no.
Since Terry got the Lifetime Achievement Award from the City of Wenatchee, he talks endlessly about himself. He is an artist, retired art teacher and tennis coach.
When I want to get a word in, I raise my hand. Terry stops talking and calls on me. Ha!
Overtalking is a compulsion. Hard to stop.
I always loved conversation and laughter. I'm an active listener.
Volunteering as a college mentor since 2006 taught me to zip it. The majority of girls I mentor are quiet introverts and great students. I have to downshift my enthusiasm and draw them out.
With trepidation, I brought Terry the article yesterday. Gave him a quick summary. It was funny. Terry exploded with stories! He completely missed the point.
Your thoughts?